I've known this guy for about two years. At first it was a silly crush to me, but from his point of view, it was something real. We eventually lost contact with each other and he recently got in touch with me and now we are in a serious relationship together. I didn't know at the time that I had deep feelings for him. Now I do. Now he wants to get married, and I'm kind of afraid because my family has a history of failed marriages. What do i do!!
2007-09-06 05:51:35 · 33 answers · asked by babyjay_babyjae 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey
u dont have to worry
if there r bad thngs thn 4 sure...gud thngs do exsist in life...
n dont be afraid or disheartened coz of the history of failed marriages...
take ur marriage as a new openein n steppin stone to all successful marriages in ur family...
n i m sure...urs will becum an idol at ur family...
so...dont worry anyhow...
be positive n think optimistic
go ahead wid ur life...
n gud luck 4 a happy married life
2007-09-06 06:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by shifali 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you just recently got back in touch, he is rushing the whole marriage thing. I think you'll feel a lot more comfortable about marriage in general if you take it slow and date for a while before rushing into lifelong commitment. Also, do you have any personal or religious beliefs against cohabitation? If not, why not just move in with him and see if you can live together first before getting married?
Just don't let your family history cause you to sabotage your own relationships. Just remember, if you are smart and pragmatic about decisions such as marriage, which means not rushing into it and making sure you two are really compatible first, you are far more likely to have a successful marriage.
2007-09-06 06:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're having to ask the question then I think that maybe answers you question.
It shouldn't matter about the rest of your family and their marriage record. It's what you feel deep inside that counts. If you are set on getting married then why not have a very long engagement so you can get to know each other better and make sure this is the right step.
2007-09-06 06:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look.. just calm down. yes your family has a history of failed marriages .. but it doesnt mean yours will be the same... if you've known this guy for a while and only recently just got in contact with him .. take things slower ... get to know him again.. but if you met him a while ago after the first break up and got things on track again for a while now and he's proposed go for it as long as your totally sure you are happy with him and him happy with you. dont look at your family and think its going to happen to you . you're a totally different person.. i could think the same way as my family all had their marriages split but i dont.. and i look forward to marriage :) be happy!! dont beat yourself up about something that probably wont happen if your really happy!
2007-09-06 06:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't base your future on your families past and present. You can only learn from them. If you don't want to get married to this guy because you feel that it's too soon or other reasoning then by all means don't. however don't hinder or put your dreams and hopes for love on the shelf because of your family. Think about it what if you don't marry him and he could be the very man that was predestined for you. You would miss out. And in the Bibile it says that God will give his children the very desires of their heart. So why wouldn't your marriage work out?
2007-09-06 06:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by courtney m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family history of failed marriages has NOTHING to do with you. You are your own person and you can make a marriage work. It takes blood, seat, and tears, but if you love someone you try anything and everything.
If you truly love this man, if he is your lover, best friend, and confidant, marry him and then work out any problems before deciding on divorce.
2007-09-06 05:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember you are not everyone in your family! Plus you took something away from watching what your family went through. If you love each other go for it and let the history of your family having perfect marriages start with you. Congrats.
2007-09-06 05:59:12 · answer #7 · answered by Princess J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. Just because many people in your family have had failed marriages doesn't necessarily mean that you will too. Just make sure that it is definitely what you want to do, and feel no pressure one way or the other when you make your decision.
2007-09-06 06:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't base your success on marriage by your family's success. I don't believe that has anything to do with you unless you let it. You have to make the decision and take the chance. Everybody who gets married takes this chance. Just do it. Get long, intensive premarital counseling if that will give you peace of mind. You should probably do that anyway. And pray to God about it!!! Can't go wrong with that.
2007-09-06 05:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there you go, dont ever get married or trust anyone because your family has a history of failing. dont research what makes marriages successful or look at what you can do to better yourself in the marriage. dont be excited that you have found your soulmate someone who will have your back for the rest of your life through it all.....dont take a chance on any of that, just stay alone, single and emotionally distressed the rest of your life.................
2007-09-06 05:59:22 · answer #10 · answered by amayseng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋