Okay my husband and I are trying to save our marriage, but he is really starting to tick me off. He goes out almost every night with his single friends to bars, and leaves me at home with our 2 year old son. I do not want to sound like a nagging wife but its not fair. He gets to go out and have fun, and do god only knows what, while I am at home taking care of his son. What would you do if you were me?
2007-09-06 05:49:35 · 23 answers · asked by Jess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no...you said it wrong...you are trying to save our marriage would be more correct. if he was serious about saving it, he would have listened and talked. he would know how this makes you feel and he would be home with you instead of out with his friends. it takes two. you can't fix it yourself, and he isnt in it. get out and start over.
2007-09-06 05:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by ohiojeff 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would tell my husband to get the hell out. Straight up. He has a wife and child at home, he doesn't need to be going out with his friends to bars. Yes, once and a while is ok but not all the time and vice versa. What he is doing is not fair and it sounds to me like he would rather be out having fun then staying home taking care of his family they way he should be. Don't let him do this because it will only ruine your marriage and make things worse between the both of you.
You need to sit down with him and talk. Let him know exactly how you feel about the situation and see how he reacts. If he agrees to calm it down a bit then good but if he gets mad then that right there should tell you something.
Good luck!
2007-09-06 13:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by Kasja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband wants his cake and eat it too. He still thinks he's single. He knows he can still do this, because your allowing it. You are probably not doing anything about it. Go for counceling, if you can and see what they say. Doesn't sound your husband is trying to save the marriage. It's only one-sided. You are not a nagging wife. Tell him this has got to stop or your ending the marriage. My husband wouldn't do this to me. If he,(your husband) wanted to be single, then he should'nt have gotten married, with a child, for you to take care of. He knows he's got you right where he wants you to be. This is not a marriage. Have you asked him, what if you, did this to him. My husband says, anybody who goes out every night with there friends, sounds like he still wants to be single. He has to much time on his hands, and should find something else to be doing. Like sharing himself with his family. Hope this helped some.
2007-09-06 13:42:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say we need to have a talk. It's OK to go out once in a while with your friends but not every night. That's not fair to you. He should stay home some and watch you all son while you go out once in a while. Or get a babysitter and go out together. If he couldn't agree to any of this. I would tell him don't let the doorknob hit where God split ya. You can't save a marriage like he's doing. Good Luck.
2007-09-06 13:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by rock of ages 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if I were you I would tell my husband that I need him home because the 2 year old needs a daddy. If he truly loves you he would do this for you and if he dose not do this then I would have a trial separation and if he doesn't change then it would be time to get a divorce and I know some women don't like that idea but some times you just have to take those measures to get the men to do what you want. I am sorry that he does this to you and your son. Also you can talk to him about seeing about getting help for you guys and I Know some guys don't like to get help but just try.
2007-09-06 14:05:05 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah C. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that his going out every night with single guys is not cool, There single and he has a family. He needs to grow up. Also if that don't work I would put some extra clothes in my car and make some plans to go out one day. Tell him I'm going to the store and take off. If you choose this option you should be prepared that he will be mad azz hell when you get back. If so let him know that you need a break too.
2007-09-06 14:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by betty boo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he wants the single life then he can move out and be single. No more bar nights all the time...once in a while ok but all the time.. no way! Get a sitter and say the next time he goes you go too! Lets see what he says. If he says no to you going then I'd be worried!
2007-09-06 12:58:53 · answer #7 · answered by Marge 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer, move out or pack up his things while he is out with his friends and place them outside for him to take care of when he returns home.
He is not working on your marriage, you are working on your marriage and taking care of your child, and he is pretending that he is single.
If you are going for counseling, continue to do so, if you are not; you need to get counseling and support for yourself.
Are you trying to save your marriage without counseling? This is nearly impossible, so that may be part of the problem.
In order to save a marriage, both people have to be working toward a common goal.
The mature way to approach this is to calmly discuss this with your husband, on one of the nights he is home, and listen carefully to how he reacts. If he seems willing to change, you should give him a chance; especially as you have to think of the welfare of your son.
If he is unwilling to change, you need to think of your own self and the well-being of your son so you can move forward without your husband, who is not acting very much like a husband or father at this time.
2007-09-06 13:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) find another place to live
2) start little by little moving things over there
3) when he is gone on one of his all night benders... leave.
4) file for divorce
This marriage is over. He's out partying and most likely sleeping with other women. He doesn't care about the marriage or he would have changed his actions.
Its time that you stood up for yourself and do what you need to be happy and the first step in that direction is to leave.
btw.. be sure and document the times he is gone at night and the condition he comes home in for the custody battle. You will need it.
2007-09-06 12:56:15 · answer #9 · answered by .... 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would tell him that this is OUR son, not just MY son, and I deserve to have some free time too. A marriage is 50/50. It took both of us to make him, it takes both of us to raise him, and we both deserve equal time off to ourselves. So you set up a system of trading off free time so you can get out of the house and catch your breath, too. If he's truly trying to save your marriage, he will have no problem pulling his share of the weight.
2007-09-06 13:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by meagain 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋