i have been with my husband for 7 years and married for almost 3. During the course of our relationships we've had some pretty bad arguments. Some which escalated to physical fighting. My son was born premature a month and a half due to one of these confrontations which happened because he was drunk and it was a complete misunderstanding.
Well today is my birthday, and i didn't know he was joking with me about pretending that he forgot my b-day and I got upset. Because in the 7 years we've been together he's only done something for my bday twice (one was he cooked breakfast for me and the other was a card.) In any case we fought today. He took me and threw me around the room, he broke my glass jewlry box and a few other things and i shouted leave me alone, i want a divorce and made matters obviously worse. I know it was my fault that this happened I shouldn't have gotten upset. But I don't know if i should stay with him any longer, what if any are my options?
2007-09-06 04:56:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No one, not even your husband has any right to put their hands on you. It is definitely not your fault! You need to contact your family and let them know what is going on, he should seek counseling and anger management if he wants the relationship to grow. You should leave him and tell him you will not come back until he begins counseling, you should attend also. Do not put yourself or your child in harms way....your husband seems to not have a grasp on his anger. Contact family and if you need help finding some programs in your area then please contact me and I will help you.
my email is "musclegurl4u@yahoo.com"
2007-09-06 05:06:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, this is a difficult one and I think I would need to know more. Lots of people answered but remember that their advice might not all work for you and sometimes they read something that another wrote to you and write the same thing.
I don't know whether you were fighting with him as well and I don't know how hard he was throwing you or whether he was trying to protect himself at all or whether throwing was an accident (maybe he only meant to push you away?).
All that being said, it sounds serious and it has a past history. Unfortunately it might be better to withdraw if he has an abuse addiction. You need to make the decision whether you feel that your safety requires a withdrawal from the situation. Perhaps fill in your pastor about the details and ask for help.
I don't think there is an easy answer. Remember, abuse is an addiction and needs time and effort on the part of the abuser to overcome.
2007-09-06 07:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Robert B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is any are your options? Get real lady! You have alot of options!
1. Call the police when he lays his hands on you!
2. Get a restraining order. have him removed from the home!
3. IF too affraid to get the police involved, and you shouldn't be, because you could be saving your life, the babies and may be future women who may get involved with him, go to your local violent shelter. They will even meet you and give you a ride if you have no car!
4. kick his *** out.
5. move out yourself.
I don't care what the situation is in an argement, but there is absolutly no reason to lay ones hands on each other. None what so ever in anger.
You know your options. It's just up to you to go with the right ones.
2007-09-06 05:10:16 · answer #3 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently you need help. If you are still there it is because you are dependent.
Look for help and get the heck out of there. You are worth much more than that, you do not deserve to be treated like that.
Once you understand that there is someone out there that can love you and take care of you, once you realize that you are incredibly valuable and no one has the right to mistreat you, then you can move on.
Your son needs a mom that can protect him, but if you do not start by yourself you won't be able to help him.
2007-09-06 05:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by Freedom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there- wasted 17 years never getting gifts and trying to justify it with friends who got flowers, cards, dinners and probably alot of love and kind words. I too had kids. One day I woke up and realized I also deserved the things my friends had. A kind man who remembers my B.D. and isn't mean to me. Time only made my man worse. There were guns and attempts at my life. It isn't fun. We divorced. Wasn't easy, but give an angry man a beer and you'll pay everytime. Don't waste time, it's a valuable thing.
2007-09-06 05:19:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is NEVER okay for physical violence!!! Regardless of the misunderstanding! You have a child to think of - put him first. What happens when your husband starts throwing him around? It will be too late. Nobody has to stay in a dangerous situation - regardless of religion. Contact a women's abuse group. They will give you all the help and support you will need. Be strong - for your childs' sake.
2007-09-06 05:07:56 · answer #6 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is wrong. You do not deserve to be mistreated and your baby shouldn't have to grow up in that kind of environment.
You mention being a Christian in your question. The Bible says a man should love his wife. He obviously doesn't. God is not going to punish you for leaving an abusive, worthless man. God isn't going to punish you for doing what is best for your child, either.
Do you have any pictures of the damage he did to you and to your property? Keep them in a safe place if you and use it in your divorce. In the meantime, if he hurts you or goes on a rampage breaking things in your home, call the police and tell them you fear for your life. They can help, but you have to be brave and press charges against your husband. DO NOT BACK DOWN OR DROP THE CHARGES!
Get out for your sake and for your baby's sake.
God bless.
2007-09-06 05:05:40 · answer #7 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Read all the comments very closely. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! But, it is time to take your child and get out, while you still can. Is it scary, yes, can you do it? YES! You can - and you have to for your child if not for yourself. Get out and get help. There are places all over - call a friend, relative or a shelter, but you need to get away from him. Since you brought up the religion issue, talk to your clergy - they should be able to help. While the bible isn't "pro-divorce" God also doesn't want us to suffer unnecessarily and does not ever want children to suffer. You and your child (and your husband for that matter) are suffering. Please get help! Take care!
2007-09-06 05:09:32 · answer #8 · answered by Jolie G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey christian has nothing to do with abuse-please stop blaming youreslf that is exactly what he is counting on. Go talk to a pastor-not your own. Be honest with him and know that the bible says you should treat your body as a temple of the holy ghost. You need to respect yourself and your child enough to get out before he turns to the child- and never say never. I will pray for you.
2007-09-06 05:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by cool cat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault that he's abusive! get out before the son gets hurt! now! According to the Bible he is not to provoke his children to wrath, and that is eventually what will happen! The bible says he is to love his wife, and he is not doing that! leave... don't divorce, just leave... and see what he does... tell him he must get counseling by a christian or you will never ever come back... good luck! =)
2007-09-06 05:09:39 · answer #10 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋