I don't agree with letting a baby cry it out......?

Question

So I need some help. I have a three and a half month old baby girl, I am a stay at home mom, and spend many many hours playing with, her holding her and just taking care of her. Which I LOVE! I know how lucky I am to be able to stay at home with her. But she very rarely naps unless I am holding her. (this is one of the few times) I love cuddling her but need the naptime which is never very long to get some house work done, maybe eat something myself once in a while (lol). I have no problem letting some of the house work go, But it's kinda starting to get to me. I did try to give her about 5 minutes to cry but I couldn't handle it! I try letting her get good and asleep then put her down and the second Im not holding her she wakes up. at this point I would be thrilled with just a half hour a day. Any sugestions would be great! Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

that is a tuff one. sadly it sounds like your angel is spoiled. My husband is constantly on me for the same thing. We let our little girl cry for a while then I have to go pick her up. I just can't stand to know that she needs me and I can't do anything. fortunatly it has improved since we started letting her cry. most of the time now she will go back to sleep on her own. Not every time, but she is gettng better. I find if I run the vacuume or do something at the other end of the house when I know her needs are met I feel better about letting her cry. Use a diversionary tactic and hopefully it will help you. good luck!

Answer 2

This may take some time to break her of. She is used to falling asleep on you. My husband used to do that with our daughter. We had use the 5 minute rule. You lay the baby down when you know they are sleepy. Then you walk away if she cries just let her for about 5 minutes, then keep checking on her so that she knows you are there. I always let my daughter know I am close by going in and talking to her, or giving her the pacifier. Just do not pick her up right away. Make sure before you lay her down that she is fed, and changed and comfortable. I began to know by my daughter's cries what the problem was. This is a hard habit for both baby and mom to break but good luck to you, and there is never anything wrong with cuddling baby once and a while. That is one of the good things in life. Be patient with her, this may take you a few tries.

Answer 3

I completely understand! That was how my son used to be. I DO NOT believe in crying it out. That is way too harsh, especially for a 3 1/2 months! You can never, ever spoil a baby that young! I used a front carrier to get housework done, but also a swing is a good choice. I put in one of those HBO baby DVD's called "The Art Show" and he loves listening to the classical music and watching all the coloful paintings. The DVD only goes for 30 minutes, but it will let you get some housework done, or just some rest. I hope you find this helpful!

Good luck!

Answer 4

My daughter was the same way. She had to be held to go to sleep and stay asleep. I did do the let her cry it out 2 times. That was enough. I never did it again. Not only was it torture for her but also the rest of the family. You only have 8 months till she is 1 year and things start to change as she does get older. Cherish the moments that you have with her and go ahead, have a dirty house and realize the house will be still be there tomorrow. I really don't have any advice since i was unable to figure out the solution but now I do not regret one minute of it. My baby is now 13 years old ---I sure do miss those days that she needed me--Be happy and enjoy your bundle of joy.

Answer 5

I kind of had this problems with my baby girl as well. She wanted to be held all the time. I work, but she stays with my mother-in-law and her mother during the day, so you know she is held all day by grandma and great-grandma (which I am soooo thankful and greatful for). I also do not believe in the cry-it-out method. I think babies need to know that their parents are there to comfort them when they need it. However, you do need to be able to get things done. So, what I did was put my baby in the crib frequently during the day (on weekends when I was home) and talk to her and play with her there so she would begin to associate the crib with fun and comfort. At times I would let her cry a little bit (not more than a few minutes though) so that she could learn to soothe herself. She is now five and a half months old, and all I have to do when she is sleepy is put her in her crib with her mobile on. She falls asleep without fussing within 10-20 minutes, and when she wakes up she doesn't cry, usually plays around in her crib until I walk in and find her staring up at me with her big beautiful blue eyes.

Answer 6

I understand your reluctance to let her cry it out and, though I have used CIO with both my boys at some level or another, it was at a later age. I think 3 1/2 months is still to young for crying too much! :) Anyway, she's still young enough that she might enjoy bein swaddled - have you tried that? You could also try rocking, singing, rubbing her back, playing soft music. She will get used to the routine if you stick to it - just be sure to do it the same way each time you put her down for a nap or at night. For example, sit in a roking chair with her whileyou sing a certain song, then stand up near her crib and sway while singing another, then say I love you and lay her down. She may cry, so pick her up and sing again. Evenutally she will get tired of the up and down and will fall asleep :) It will take some time but don't worry, this too shall pass!

Answer 7

I am and have been the same way with my 4 kids. I think 3.5 months is still young enough to cuddle and baby and crying it out at that age does not teach them anything. In fact they say that babies don't learn "manipulation" until 6-9 months or so. I have four kids who are proof of this. Once they hit those ages that's when crying it out is necessary. There is nothing wrong with holding her or picking her up everytime she is crying at this stage in her life. In fact it's really good for her. Now as for the getting time to yourself, I've found with my last two babies (who would NOT let me put them down in a crib/bassinet for the life of me) that if I put a soft blanket down on top of our bouncer chair and then lightly swaddle them in it that they would stay asleep. If it's too hot to cover them then put some socks on their little feet and a onesie and still lay them down on top of the blanket but not covered of course. It also depends on the type of bouncer or swing that you have, with newborns it seems something that is able to lay farther back and cradle them works best. Another idea would be to get yourself a sling or front carrier and be able to have your hands free while still cuddling and carrying your baby around.

Answer 8

Letting your baby cry it out and leaving your baby while she screams and wails for hours at a time are not the same thing.

Set yourself a time limit....say 15-20 minutes, go do the dishes, vacuum, try to create diversations for yourself so you're not sitting there focused on her crying.

If she's still crying, go in nurse her, change her, cuddle her and put her back down. Let her cry for the time alloted ...chances are she shouldn't cry for that long the second time around, if she does do it again, she will evenutally stop and sleep.

I had to do this with both my daughters, and it is terribly difficult at first ... I sat in the living room and cried hysterically, the only comfort I had was looking at the clock knowing only five more minutes to go ... then the more I did this the less they cried. My daughter is 9 months old and she very rarely cries when I put her down for naps.

Another thing you should start is a routine and stick to it...try to put her down the same time every day, naps and bedtime ... she'll get used to these times and know what to expect with the routine you create before these times, she'll become naturally tired and won't fight quite so much.

Consistancy is key too, you can't let her cry one time and go pick her up another time, you need to stick to your guns no matter how difficult it is for you, because it is important to teach self soothing techniques now.

Good luck and it will get better :)

Answer 9

Well get over her crying. Babies cry. Start now so she can go down easier when she's older. A crying 9 - 12 month old is not as cute as a 3 month old. They learn to shriek. You can try putting her in a swing. Or get a front pack and let her just hang on you while you do things around the house.

Answer 10

The only way this is going to work is by letting her cry!
She has got so used to being held all the time she is never going to sleep on her own unless you break the cycle.
It is hard but you have to be strong and really want to do it-it will take a matter of days for her to get used to and think of the rewards for you.She needs to learn that being on her own isn't a bad thing.
Try controlled crying.
Put her down let her cry for 5 minutes,go in and soothe her but don't talk to her and don't pick her up.Keep doing this gradually leaving her 10 then 15 minutes.
You might feel at first that it will never end and the first couple of days could be very hard.But if you stick with it I promise it works!!Good luck.
I have just read some other comments about your child thinking you aren't there for them if you let them cry it out-this is rubbish.My kids always know I am there for them and my letting them teach themselves to go to sleep was rewarding for both myself and my children.Bad sleeping habits start when they are babies and the people that run to their children every time they whimper as a baby will still have them doing it when they are 7!

Answer 11

I know that hearing your baby cry out can pull on your sensitive side as a new mom and nerve wrecking when you just need sleep yourself or would like to get some house work done. However, the only way your little one is ever going to stop it is to train your baby to do so. First, make sure your baby is not hungry or wet/solided--because these would be a good reason for baby to cry- and should not be ignored. Now, after those issues are taken care of and baby just wants to cry--for attention --or affection--but you need to take care of yourself--then follow these steps:
1. first offense- let baby cry 3 min then cuddle
2 second offense- let baby cry 5 min, then cudle
3. third offense let baby cry- let baby cry10 min- then cuddle
you get the point. Slowly withdraw until baby is able to comfort him/herself. I've tried this method (I'm on baby #3) with success. This is very important for baby's self reliance as he/she gets older.