What do you have in common with your spouse?

Question

Sometimes I feel like I have more NOT in common than common.... We have been married for 5 and a half years, no kids. I am in my late twenties and he is in his early thirties. Is this normal? I feel like we always, always have to compromise with the other because we tend to like different movies, music, etc. Does anyone else feel this way? It's even more so than that. I am more conservative, he is more liberal. I have a passion for volunteering and helping important causes, he could care less. I have a ton of energy, he is more easy going and calm. I go to church and have a certain moral compass, he does not. What does all of this mean? I am starting to wonder if we were truly meant to be together? I feel like when I express myself or am passionate about a cause, I'd like him to be passionate with me, even if it isn't a cause that is necessarily important to him. It is important to me. Sometimes I feel like we might be growing apart?

Another big difference is that I love to communicate and talk about different issues - he doesn't. He has never been big on communication. Then I'll find out days, weeks, or even months later how he felt about something. Without communication, I feel like I never really know where I stand. Does any of this make sense?

Answer 1

you both eat, sleep, breathe and sh*t.

that's all the 'have in common' you need, everything else can be worked.

you dump him, and we'll see you here again asking people "i dumped this really great guy, how do i get him back?"

When you said "i do", what were you thinking? or are you not thinking now cuz he doesn't like chick flicks and he's more private than you?

what's is this 'mean to be together'? did chocolate and peanut butter say 'we were meant to be together' in reeces cups? does that mean that peanut butter is a slut when it gets together with jelly and bread?

do you have to turn your husband into you for you to be with him?

Answer 2

Really not much at all. We are also very different and fit into that "opposites attract" category. However, as our marriage grows our personalities and interests have merged. He changes the music in my car, but I deal with it cause he's the one driving. We like a lot of different movies, but some of the same. I will watch one he likes and vice versa. Compromise is a big necessity in a marriage. Your marriage will suffer if you start to resent making comprimises. I guess the best advice I have for you is "Pick your battles." Arguments are going to arise as a result of difference in opinion, but you will get into trouble if you create an argument over the little things. You are two different people and that should be what brings you together, not drive you apart.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are an Aquarian married to a Libra. I don't know that. Any how you both are very different, that is certain, however that can work to your benefit. He can have his interests and you can have yours, nothing wrong with that other than you spend more time away from the other doing your own things. I am sure you must have some things in common....sit down with him and figure out new stuff that you both want to do together.....This will probably fix the nothing in common issue.

Answer 4

Sounds like me and my hubby. It doesn't mean you are growing apart and there is something you guys have in common, you just have to search for it and instead of dwelling on ALL of those things you guys don't have in common concentrate on the ones that you guys do. If you are an active person, enjoy the fact that he does not oppose you doing all the things that you enjoy. He is passionate about his free time and you are passionate about your busy lifestyle. Both of you have to respect that and just enjoy the simple things in life which most of the time bring in more happiness. Why bother wondering if the grass is greener on the other side if you have a perfectly well groomed lawn on yours?

Answer 5

We have kids, we are both musicians, we are both avid readers, we enjoy going out but also enjoy a quiet evening at home. We both love to talk, we both love to laugh. We both can't stand organized religion, we are active politically and we tend to mostly agree on politics.

Things we don't have in common. I'm very hyper and I'm always doing something, he's happier when he's kicked back relaxing. It can be a small annoyance when he wants me to sit down and I want him to get up! I love the gym, he finds it boring. I love to go skinny dipping at night, he wants the water to be like bathwater (he totally spoils potentially romantic moonlit nights because he's whining about how cold the water is..haha) We both read different types of books but share what we're reading with each other. I'm a bit of a clean freak, he can relax with the house looking like a pig sty. I like to plan things and be organized, he loves that about me because he's not nearly as organized. He loves silly movies that I find boring, I love deep thinking movies that he sometimes enjoys but sometimes doesn't "get". He likes TV and I'd rather do anything else.

We get along very well, rarely fight. We do try to share each others passions and encourage each other to do what we love. I've found that marriage is about giving your gifts to the other person. He teaches me to relax, I teach him to be a little more motivated. He teaches me how to think about things logically, I teach him how to think about things emotionally. I think as long as you continue to value the gifts that your spouse brings to the table you can keep things exciting and fun. There is still sooooooo much to learn about him, even after 20 years. We're both still growing and changing and it's been really enjoyable. Good luck :)

Answer 6

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Answer 7

I think it's more important to have the main things in common: morality, goals, and some interests. Having differences builds a realtionship too based on learning from the other. My wife and I have our common interests but we also have differences which allow us to learn from each other. My wife is fiscally conservative and me not so much. She is politically liberal, and I am in the middle somewhere. I communicate but my wife likes to lecture sometimes...lol. Also, our morals and short and longterm goals are focused in the same direction.

Answer 8

My husband and I are like two pees in a pod, we have so much in common. For instance, we both like the same exact movies, music. We have very common interests, we both love helping people, we have very similiar personalities, same friends, same taste, feel the same way about religion, were both very outgoing, we are both comedians and so on.
The only thing we really don't have in common is he loves sea food and i cannot stand it. I love spinache and other veggies which he doesn't like.
That is really the only thing we have don't have in common.

Answer 9

Why would you want to be marriage to someone that has almost everything in common? Boarding. You do want someone that is opposite from you that why you found him attractive, the ideal is you both learn together the things you both are passionate about, (word to the wises men only speak 10,000 words a day and women 30,000) so pray for him and let GOD do the work on him. I like to read books, husband like to look at magazines. I like to paint he hates it, I like sitcoms he likes actions, I like romance, he like wam bam thank you mam. But we know what each other is thinking and what make us tick and I love him for that, when I want him to get some of the honey do list done I have to pray that GOD will be the one to put it on his heart to do it and not me nagging him to get it done.

Answer 10

My s/o and I have just about everything in common! Honestly.... Did you and your husband not realize that you had next to nothing in common before you got married?? How did things work out while you were dating? I couldn't even date a man I didn't have commonalities with, let alone marry him!! Sounds like you two are drifting apart... (if you were even really that close in the first place) I'm gonna say that since you are questioning whether or not you two were truly meant to be together, that you weren't... If you were, you wouldn't be questioning your relationship!