How do I get my 9 month old baby to stay with my mom without crying?

Question

I really set myself up here. My daughter is 9 months old. I'm a stay at home mom and I breastfeed her. So she is really attached to me. She is used to having me 24/7 and won't let anyone else hold her (including daddy) even if I am right there beside her. How do I get a little bit of my life back? I just want her to stay with my mom a couple hours a week so I can have some "me time". Or I even thought about going college and learning something new. She only sees my mom once a week for a few minutes. My son who is 4 loves to stay at my mom's house. Will being around my mom more often help her get used to her?

Answer 1

She will stop crying. I was the primary caregiver for my son, and he didn't really like going to Daddy. I just made short visits with my Mom at first...left him for an hour ata time, then slowly increased the time. Its just a mattr of them knowing you will be back. They have no sense of time, but just need to know that you will be back.

Answer 2

Try having daddy drop her off. My 2 year old is the same with me and I make my husband do it now. She doesn't cry at all when he drops her off b/c I am already out of the equation. Also, try having your mom come to your house and just play with her while you are doing house cleaning and maybe have them go outside in the yard to play for a little bit at a time just the 2 of them to get her use to it at first. It's hard on them when you go from not leaving them at all to leaving them for an hour or more. Do a little bit at a time. Also remember that she is still 9 months old, and sometimes it's hard for younger ones to get interested in playing with things untill they're a little older. When you do come back though and pick her up, it's the best feeling in the world to feel them hug you and not let go :o) I also saw a clip on tv saying that sneaking out is not good b/c once the baby notices you aren't there, theey get even more upset. They say you need to leave them and tell them you are going somewhere and be positive about you leaving. Hope this helps. and the people that say you caused this, no worries about that, i didn't leave my daughter till she was 1 and don't regret it a single bit :o)

Answer 3

Yes spend lots of time (multiple times a week) at grandmas to get her use to grandma - but you are gonna have to back off and let other people hold her or you will never break the ties

Since you waited till 9 months to start trying to get her use to someone else you are gonna have to spends a few months getting her use to the environment and to your mom...prolly 3-4 months if you visit 3 times a week at least 2 hours a visit - you should have started her visiting in month 2 or 3 so that it was routine not something different...


Good luck

Answer 4

You made her this way by always holding her and not letting anyone else do it. Apparently you'd pass her off to someone and she'd cry and you'd go get her back. So you've taught her that her fear of not being with you is well founded and correct, and that she is in fact not safe when you're not with her.

If you want her to go to other people you have to hand her off more often.

Leave her with your mom, and a bottle of pumped boob juice, and go outside until she stops crying. Come back in when she's done crying. Your mom can do things to redirect her attention, like some bright toys or an active game.

Do it little by little and eventually she will be able to spend a few hours at a time away from you.

I breast feed my son and iam a sahm, but at 6 weeks I pumped and left him for 20 minutes with my mom. Just once every couple weeks. Now he is nearly 8 months and can spend around 5-6 hours with my MIL without freaking out at all. And he's always being passed off to other people with me near him, Ive never gone and made a deal of him crying because I wasnt holding him. THats the worst thing you can do.

Answer 5

i've got confidence your soreness. My 5 week old toddler wakes up sometimes interior of half-hour of me laying her down. some days are greater advantageous than others. i'm purely thinking how i would be waiting to pass to artwork complete time and are available domicile to get next to none sleep. I even have study a brilliant form of articles in wish to discover an answer. i be attentive to to sleep while the toddler sleeps and that each toddler is distinctive. My toddler likes to doze off on me, and if i ought to sleep along with her on me i might (yet I worry of unintentional hurting her on a similar time as I sleep). in case you have some you have confidence to visual show unit the toddler sooner or later each week, this might supply help to get some sleep and get the flaws you pick for accomplished. I wish my mom lived her for the reason that's what i might do.

Answer 6

I'd like to know the answer to this one as well.
They say leave them and then gradually increase the time.
I've done this and my daughter just cries the WHOLE time I'm gone ... three hours solid straight choking sobbing tears.
We're not asking if we made them this way, THEY ARE THIS WAY AND WE NEED A SOLUTION.
I have no idea what to do about it, so if you find an answer that works for you, please let me know.
It's gotten to the point with me that no one will watch her, not my mother, not my family and my husband cringes when I say I'd like to go to the store.
They say they will grow out of it ... I say when?!
But you do need to start leaving her with other people just so that she knows that you will come back....just make sure the people you leave her with are patient and understanding.
Good luck!

Answer 7

your baby may be spoiled because my son is 10 months and he stays with anyone, its best to let your baby know that she can trust your mom, spend more time with your mom and your baby together, that way your baby will gain trust. Usually when a baby wants no one but mom and dad is because they are the only ones they trust. My son is very outgoing, I take him everywhere and allow everyone in the family to play with and hold him so that he can get a sense of trust when he is not with me. If your baby have a favorite toy, try leaving that with her and your mom, so that they can play together. Your baby may not know her well enough to wanna be with her.

Answer 8

You need to distract her when she is at your mom's house. Get your mom to get her attention on something else, and you sneak out of the room without her seeing you leave. That usually works with my son.

Answer 9

I live with my parents and whenever my child who's 10 months old gets put into their arms when i'm their she'll start screaming but when i'm gone to work she is perfectly fine for them. I think if you leave your child with your mom, as soon as you leave she will be fine. I usually have my parents distract my daugther as i'm sneaking out the door so she never see's me leaving. If she see's you leaving she'll prob be upset for a while and start screaming.

Answer 10

Yes, it will help her get used to her. Daddy needs to bond with baby too so leave her alone with him while you run errands and stuff so she gets used to him too.