I am in Love with a man who was sentenced to 20 years in prison. Do you think it is possible for a relationship to make it through this time? I am 28 and he is 32. We have known eachother for 7 years total
2007-09-06
04:00:54
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31 answers
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asked by
latin_reynasoy
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has already been in for 4 years and I do visit him every 2 weeks and write often, He made a mistake 10 years ago that caught up with him now. He is a great person on the inside...My family just says it is an impossible relationship
2007-09-06
04:09:24 ·
update #1
I wish we had good behaviour time in Michigan, but if you get 20 you serve 20. I guess I will see where time will leave us and go from there thanks for eveyones input
2007-09-06
04:27:41 ·
update #2
I'm sure it is possible to have a relationship, however it will be very trying and difficult. You will need alot of patience and good communication skills. However, if this man is going to prison for 20 years, doesn't sound like the crime was that simple...and you need to put yourself first. Do you deserve a relationship like this? Do you love him that much you'll let yourself be devoted to him until his time is up? Do you know if this person is trustworthy enough? And most importantly, do you think this will better you as a person for the next 20 years?
I'm not telling you yes or no, but answer these questions and you will most likely answer your question. I personally feel that you'll be better off letting it go. Whatever happens was meant to be. So if you don't meet anyone in 20 years, there you go. But who knows him going to jail, you guys breaking up, coulld possibly cause you to meet your future husband. There's always a good possibility this could be a BLESSING IN DISGUISE.
Good Luck :o)
2007-09-06 04:07:41
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answer #1
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answered by Anonstar 3
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Wow, I'm sorry for your pain if he was innocent. I was in a similar situation, except I just ended a long term (12 year) relationship and he did something despicable and went to prison 6 months after our break up, so I'm a little biased here. You are young, find someone new. Life is too short to wait, as he will probably not be the same person you knew when he gets out. Prison has a way of changing people and not for the better usually. I think you deserve a man who can behave himself well enough to stay out of prison.
2007-09-06 04:21:48
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answer #2
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answered by onebusy_b 2
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It isn't very likely. When you are in a relationship with an inmate all you have are letters, and a phone call. You are out in the real world and he is locked up. You are able to go places see people and do things and he isn't. You can't be with him or have him for support and consolation and physical love. He won't want you to "cheat" while is in and can't be with you.
There are so many things against you. It would be VERY difficult for you to handle the situation on long basis at your age.
Most prisons do not have congical visits. You get a kiss and hug at the beginning and at the end in most of them and that is if you are related and can have "contact" visits
It is a LONG HARD ROAD.
Please really think all of this over. Be his friend and support him with your letters and visits but PLEASE for your own good don't even consider marrying him.
That is no life for someone as young as you are.
Find yourself someone that you can build a life with and be with in the free world.
GOOD LUCK DEAR
2007-09-06 04:16:24
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answer #3
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answered by suzie 7
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It will be possible if you ostracized yourself from the community for 20 years. It depends on you 100 percent. By the time he is out he'll be 52 and you 48 !! Wow what a waste of life. If I were you, I would give myself a chance to discover new guys for a lover.
2007-09-06 04:16:49
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answer #4
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answered by seeker 3
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My daughters father was sentenced to 20 yrs about 2 yrs ago and then i could not fathom the thought of being with another man but over the past two years i have realized that i am not the one that needs to be punished, i didn't commit the crime. It is unfair to myself and my daughter to live an unhappy lonely life. so i chose to move on. I will never love anyone in this world like i did him but i will love again in another way. The choose is for you to decide but remember you have to be honest with you partner about your decision upfront so there is less heart break later on. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-09-06 04:10:15
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answer #5
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answered by EricaS 2
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It would be difficult at times but nothing is impossible.
You would need to visit him often and through cards and letters.
I hope that this is a safe person for you to be involved with and not someone who is serving time for a bad mistake they had made.
If this person has murdered, sexually assulted anyone, kidnapped or raped etc. Get out of this relationship fast. It is going to go down hill and not worth the time and effort on your part.
2007-09-06 04:06:06
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answer #6
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answered by Stormchaser 5
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First off is the reason he is in prison horrific? It cannot be a petty crime because Are you ready to put your life on hold? He could come out of there a changed man and when you embrace him with open arms he could go the other way, but this is a chance you will have to take if you are willing.
I would let each other go and when he gets out if fate and it is meant to be then you will know....
Think of yourself first.
2007-09-06 04:11:55
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answer #7
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answered by heathermichelle9 5
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No the fact that he is in prison is a horrible sign. And 20 years is not worth the wait! No woman should have to be that patient for a man! I think you should move on hurts but its true
2007-09-06 04:06:45
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answer #8
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answered by Ninja 2
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He is going to be in there for a long time before he is even considered for parole. He did the crime there is no sense and both of you doing do the time. Take the time now that he is away to reflect on your relationship and how healthy it was or was not. Learn from the mistakes that were made and grow from them.
2007-09-06 04:06:29
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answer #9
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answered by Lizzie 2
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you have not have been given any excuse to be jobless. You sound as undesirable and as dumb as my ex. There are jobs everywhere, you basically could desire to open up your eyes to work out them. stop being pious and which will sparkling up plenty. Cockfighting expenses money, and that i'm particular the money which you're dropping on animal cruelty is the comparable money you got, probable by ability of tension, out of your detrimental spouse. No ask your self she left you. Your spouse merits that newborn. not you. She is the single with the maternal instinct, she's the single that's been putting nutrition on the table for that newborn, and enable's face it, little ones choose their mothers greater advantageous than their fathers through fact mothers upload that heat element to any living house... a minimum of maximum do. needless to say, you sound like an extremely not worth determine. you're incorrect in lots of stuff. shame on you!
2016-10-18 03:15:01
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answer #10
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answered by ? 4
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