There are a few things you need to ponder before you make your decision. I am in a similar predicament since I was fixed at 23 after having three kids, but I am now remarried and have given it some thought and my answer was no. Here is what you should consider....
1. I have two children on their way to college. Can I afford another child and the cost of College tuition at the same time?
2. Am I willing to have four kids who have three different last names? (That could definitely be a problem.)
3. Am I willing to start over in my 30's?
4. Do I really want another child or is my biological clock fueling this desire? ( I had this same problem.)
5. God forbid that this is a possible scenario.....Am I able and ready to raise four kids alone if something were to happen to my marriage or husband?
6.Am I really willing to undergo surgery?(By the way you can do artificial insemination instead of a reversal.)
7.Am I willing to make such a life changing decision even if he dosen't sound like he's willing or ready?
Good luck sweetie! Email me if you want to chat about this.
2007-09-06 04:13:02
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answer #1
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answered by BJ 3
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Doesn't sound selfish to me when your husband said that he never wanted a child until he met you. Sounds to me like he wants one with you but isn't sure if he wants one badly enough to pay for the cost of a reversal. I don't think you are crazy for wanting another child either. I am turning 34 this yr. and have three children 15, 12, and 8. I was recently engaged in May and never thought I would want another child. But here I am seriously considering it b/c I love my fiance very much and feel like I am more ready to have a child now than I ever have been before. Discuss all these feelings with him in great detail and see what he thinks. Give him a little time to think it all over. Then discuss it once more for a final decision.
2007-09-06 11:13:38
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answer #2
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answered by misbotta 4
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Age shouldnt be a concern unless the doctor says that at 34 ya may have problems. Are you crazy and selfish for wanting another child? NO . NO . NO.
If it is cost that is stopping you from having yer tubal reversed there are other options. They may end up being perfect for you and yer hubby. Have you considered adoption? Have you considered ''foster parenting to babies?''
But remember 34 is still young enough to have a child if this is what you AND yer hubby really want.
Good luck
2007-09-06 11:09:53
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answer #3
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answered by newfieswoman 2
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You're not crazy for wanting to have a child with the man you love.
If your husband says he doesn't want a child, what will you do? Raising kids is not for everyone, you know. You need to find out for sure what your husband wants and you need to figure out whether or not you're willing to go along with his wishes whatever they may be.
Please don't push your husband into doing something you think he doesn't really want to do. You do have 2 children of your own already and know how difficult it can be to raise a child, what if he father's a child by you only because he feels that is what you really want from him and then leaves once the baby gets here?
2007-09-06 11:08:59
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answer #4
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answered by Loves the Ponies 6
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i know how you feel, i had my tubes tied after my daughter was born, and i have regretted it ever scence i have 4 children and the boys are 11, 12 and the girls 4 and 5 and i know alot of peope would think my gosh isnt that enough but i love children i love raising them i have the patience and the love and i think if you feel that way it dosent matter how many you have, i let my mom talk me into having my tubes tied she kept saying i didnt need anymore, and all my children are by the same man its not like im with a bunch of guys ive been married to him for 13 years and we love each other dearly but i made the mistake of a tubal lig. and now i would have to pay a lot to ever have another baby, and i have to live with that, i dont think anyone should have that done unless you really really are sure, my advice to you is if you wanna another baby then, have one life is to short, i think after mine gets a little older im going to try for another one no matter the cost, if you love this man and you want children with him then i would, children are truely one of Gods precious gifts, i see on tv so many times people being mean to innocent children and i think why dont they give them to someone that would love to have a child, and thats another ideal you could adopt a baby, i have thought of that too, theres tons of babys that need love and a home, i hope i helped ya a little, good luck and allways follow your heart.....
2007-09-06 11:13:10
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answer #5
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answered by ? 7
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I would continue to have discussions with your husband to make sure he would want another child(if he's a good man, he thinks your other kids are his) or is content with what you already have. Some guys want to have their own, but some are content to be a Dad, without being a father. I think you need to do what ever is good for the both of you, without stressing about it.
2007-09-06 11:15:31
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answer #6
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answered by LIPPIE 7
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I can't push you either way. A child is a big responsibility, obviously you already know that. For me to try to tell you one way or another would be morally wrong. The decision is your own.
2007-09-06 11:04:53
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answer #7
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answered by R 2
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Hey lady, we ALL want a baby butt, but cheeseburgers taste so good, that we end up with a plumber butt...Oh wait, I get it now...
If you are serious about the reversal look up Gary S. Berger in Chapel Hill, NC. He is the best. We had our reversal there and they are the best. Good luck!
2007-09-06 11:09:49
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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you should really think about in vitro fertilization rather than going through having your tubes reversed.
i'm going through the same feelings right now that you are.
and i'm seriously contemplating in vitro.
if you can afford the child and you have the time and the energy to love it right, then i say go for it.
2007-09-06 11:04:57
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answer #9
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answered by ? 4
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Please consider adoption too. Raising a young baby together might satiate the parenthood urges if the desire is to truly build a good life for a child.
2007-09-06 11:09:07
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answer #10
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answered by Angela C 2
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