am I right to feel jealous ? please read my other question about step daughter before answering?

Answer 1

No your not, you feel jealous because all you can see is how "unfair" the arrangement is.... THATS NOT THE PURPOSE OF FAMILY!!! Its NOT about FAIR!!!! IT WELL NEVER BE FAIR!!! Understand the purpose of your family is the advancment, love and understanding of its members, nothing about fair. Now he might not be "balancing" it right but thats a matter of perception so your stuck dealing with him about that, on his terms and yours terms, nothing says YOU HAVE TO STAY. Thats SO important that your realize that because dealing with a choatic situation just for love, is what got you divorced in the frist place, your right back were you started, just new flavor. That aside your not seeing the perception of step-family right, it can NEVER be like a family. It doesn't work that way, the love is there yes, but the strings that pull on that heart that loves is always going to be unfair. UNDERSTAND and accept that, deal with the best you can, but you can't expect someone to love and care for your child like they cared for there own, were not WIRED that way. Also you don't have a SPECIAL relationship with her, if you did you could talk to her without her lieing, nor would she have to lie to you, so don't get your perception about the relationships you have all confused, understand its STRAINED! Also realize that you and him need to get a better "together" perception on what your doing here, is it all about that fear of loneliness, is it actually love, is it convience, you guys need to be honest. Also your not completely to blame for any of this, his unwillingness to change, nor work with the concouling, proves he has some problems that he SEES that he just doesn't want to address. But also realize situations like this need MONTHS!!! MONTHS I SAID! Before councilling will even seem to work, sometimes even years. Besides that councilling doesn't solve family problems, it helps YOU solve family problems, so any inefficientness is both your faults. Even the person in the right, no one forces you to be with this person, thats your CHOICE, so you have to take the blame for that. Romantic loved is a fantasy hunnie, unless you guys start having a TRUE love relationship, this is going to be heck on earth.... jealously will be a breck from the feelings that might come later....