I have a husband of 14months, and I love him very much, but he drive me crazy, and there are times I dont want to be around him, I have to pick up after him, tell him over over and over again, what I need from him to help me out. We have two beautiful children, and yet I think I have three.
Every time I talk to him, he says huh? I cant hear you. SO then I am repeating myself over and over. I have become this person I hate. When I was a single mom, I knew I had to do things myself, being married I thought things would change. I have told him I am unhappy with the help he gives me. He says all I do is ***** and nag. So what else is there to do? Please help me...
2007-09-06 02:30:31 · 8 answers · asked by Shelly G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Welcome to married life.
2007-09-06 02:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All you can do is what you can do. You can't make him help and until you see that all you will end up doing is nagging, which he will refference to his mother... (pick up your clothes, put your dishes in the dish washer, etc.) Turn it around... Here is what I did and I hope it helps for you...
I never had a lot of time, being that I work. So I am the SAHM that puts 40 hours in at the office. So, I would come home, make sure my kids are taken care of, cook dinner, give them their bath and put them in bed when that time came. He doesn't help, well, I would just get upset since hes playing games and I am doing it all. Then, I figured I'm not super mom, so I do what I can. I started doing things like not serving him his dinner. If he wants it, its on the stove. If not, I put it away for the next day for my lunch. I pick up as much as I can, as I have a bad back, then I realized, I could cut a lot out if I quit doing his laundry. His was about 3/4 of it any way. Get this.... the next week I had a clean house. He helped with the kids and everything else. I asked what was going on and he said he didn't realize that I needed help, even though I asked. He just knew that if he didn't, it would all get done any way.
So, now I have a honey do list on the fridge that he takes care of during the week and on weekends I get his help quite a bit more, without having to nag or even ask more than once. So here is my challenge for you, do what you need to do to get through your day/week. Take care of your kids, take care of the errands you need to, don't treat him like he is one of your kids, and don't cater to him. He'll get the point and you wont have to say a word. Best of luck to you!
2007-09-06 02:45:17 · answer #2 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shelly,
It's me, your husband,wow to see your question on here is a bit of a shock.You have been telling me for some time now how you need my help and todays conversation then seeing this question blasted me.As we had discussed earlier today,I will do what I can to assist you with the kids and the household chores.It is a little difficult after working 12 hours a day to be husband or father extraordinaire,but you are home taking care of our kids and our home,the most important job in the world.You are a wonderful mom as I have told you many times before and I so respect you for that,I can only promise to make it better.I LOVE YOU
2007-09-07 07:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All you do is nag!!!! He married a woman not his mother.
You need to stop nagging, whining and complaining. Get yourself 2 books:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
The Surrendered Wife
Please read these books. You will change your marriage if your take the some responsibility.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world". - Mahatna Gandhi
2007-09-06 02:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything for him...I tried what "beatngu" did too. You'll find out real quick what kind of man you've married. Mine didn't turn out the same, my man turned into an evil creature that said that it was my job to work, cook, clean, and spread my legs. But it did have a happy ending, I left his sorry @ss. I found that he had absolutely no respect for me or for women in general, and I couldn't be married to a man like that.
2007-09-06 02:50:58 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, simply quit nagging and b%$^ing, it probably only upsets YOU anyways. Take care of you and your kids, let him fend for himself. Let his stuff stack up, let him do something about it. When he starts to get the picture, suggest some counseling. Everytime you feel yourself getting ready to explode or nag, walk away, count to ten, and remember that it hasn't helped anything before, only led to more arguments that you don't have time for.
2007-09-06 03:08:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Time for you to smarten up, and make your home a happy one. That starts with yourself, and just accepting what you have to do as a mom and a wife. Your family deserves better. You can only change yourself, and your attitude.
2007-09-06 03:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2017-03-01 03:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by Lankincte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋