Is it wrong for me to be upset about it?

Question

My wife & I recently had a difference of opinion on the issue of her texting another man on her cell phone We finally agreed that she would stop texting the suspect and delete his number. Now she has began 2 text another guy that is an old friend of hers I dont care that they talk however yesterday there were approximately 116 incoming and 133 outgoing text on her phone I only account for 30 of these text later in the evening i grabbed her by her pocket, just playing with her and she jerked away from me and took her phone out of that pocket and deleted whatever msgs were on it. I had no idea the phone was in her pocket & wasnt reaching 4 it. Am I wrong 2 wonder what she is texting so much about and also I wonder if she is not texting the other guy she agreed to stop talking with? We had a good argument about it & she tells me she just doesnt want me to know what they r talking about. Who is disrespecting who in this relationship?

Answer 1

I would talk to her and tell her that you are concerned about the texting that you don't understand what she is getting out of all the secretiveness. Ask her if theirs something your not providing her that these other guys are.Let her know that secrets in a marriage can only hurt a relationship and that your really bothered with all this.Secrets make people feel insecure and for good reason. It will only get worse if you can't resolve the issue. She should put your feeling 1st in this matter its ok to have friends that are guys but when your not sharing things with your husband then something is wrong. Ask her if the roles where reversed and your were being the secretive one how would she feel if your were spending all this time texting women and making her upset to the point that arguments arose about the subject and it didn't matter you just kept doing it anyway. Her not caring about your feelings toward it is disrepect but has their ever been a reason not to trust her? Has she ever cheated in the past in any of her relationships?This stuff can drive a person nuts!! You don't want to control who she does and doesn't talk to but yet if she's being so secretive about it then its probably nothing good. I guess i would just sit down and have a conversation about it not an arguement just tell her how you feel and what its doing to you and your marriage. If she can't respect your feelings about the matter then i would wonder how commited she is.hope this helps a bit.good luck :)

Answer 2

She is disrespecting you.
She is hiding something.
You need to have the phone shut off or make it disappear somehow for a while.
Can you help it if it gets lost in the couch or chair or maybe in a draw way in the back.
Maybe you can even call the phone company and have it so that no text messages can be sent or received.
Their is no reason for her to be sending messages like that and then telling you that she don't want you to know what they say. That's a big RED FLAG dude start watching and paying attention it could end up ugly.

Answer 3

Wow my husband would be the same as you but I wouldn't get a second chance to mess up. There is no way to tell for sure that she is doing something wrong. But the way she is acting is letting oyu knwo something is going on. if there isn't anything she didn't want you to see she wouldn't have had to delete the messages. See now me and my husband are always on each others phones and switching them out and things like he uses mine i use his. i have never had to go through this. He dont talk to other girls on his and i don't talk to other men on mine but my husband think there should be no use to talk to someone of a different sex if there are no problems in the relationship. we have mutual guy and girl friends but that is totally different we have known them for years but we both talk to them. So i guess you should worry but if your that upset about an di know it sounds bad when you get the phone bill look at the number and call. See if there is anything goign on. It sound like invasion but your married and in no way should she be doing this to you.

Answer 4

You need to check into that. As a woman who once did the same thing, I can speak from experience that you need to check into it. Because if you didnt know her phone was in her pocket and she was so anxious about it she deleted the messages, I mean, it doesnt mean she's cheating. But she's hiding something. Sorry. Its disrepectful for her to not to acknowledge your feelings about it, because if the shoe was on the other foot, she'd probably be just as upset if not more. But one key, arguing only omits more arguing. Try to talk to her and tell her your uncomfortable, no accusations thrown, just how you feel about it. Hope it helps, good luck and God Bless

Answer 5

Wow, this is crazy. My husband hates it that I have so many male friends and I text them on and off a lot. It drives him crazy at times and irritates the crap out of me because they are just my friends. I don't think you however are in the wrong at all, because I have no problem showing him any of the texts that I send or receive.

A spouse hiding things is typically a spouse that has something to hide. I'd be concerned if I was you.

Answer 6

This would be totally unacceptable. Yes, we need to trust each other, but she is breaking that trust by her actions. If she is texting another man like this, this is her cheating on you. I will get some thumbs down for this becasue people think cheating is just physical. Cheating takes any form, that someone is using to interact with another person that breaks the trust, loyalty, and commitment to there spouse or significant other. If you have to hide it, you shouldn't do it. I will never forget the hurt I caused by doing something like this myself. You need to really sit down and have a conversation with her about this.

Answer 7

I think she is hiding something that she shouldn't be doing. I think you should definitely do some research and find out what she's hiding. I am happily married for 5 yrs and I would never disrespect my husband like that. If it was nothing I would show him the messages just because we are open about everything. Kellylyn1113

Answer 8

Texting is conversation. Are you intimately involved in every conversation she has with every person? Is she intimately involved in every convesation YOU have with every person? Does she know everything you say to everyone?

This sounds like a trust issue here... or maybe there's more to it than meets the eye. But sounds like both of you have some trust issues - you don't trust that her conversations are innocent and private and she doesn't trust that you weren't going to check her phone.

Answer 9

Well maybe you should respect her privacy, but if she ever goes out at night, maybe she is on a date w/ one of her text mates..maybe its you disrespecting her, HONESTLY and truly...Make sure you respect ur wife's privacy. Also it isn't wrong for you to be upset about it either..being upset about it is human and thats natural, I'm not sure but maybe when she's asleep you can check out at least one, two, or three messages but if it starts to get odd or suspicious, check out some more messages to get the idea if she is cheating on you or something. Hope this advice is helpful for you!

Answer 10

Unless your wife is doing something wrong while texting these guys I don't think you should worry . she might just be confiding in these guys things that she doesn't feel comfortable talking with you about you should respect your wife's privacy but she should also respect your feelings when it comes to text messaging these men