Recently my husband I have been fighting over MY career .. He wants me to work in an office, I've done that and the thought of doing it again makes me want to kill myself and I'm not joking or exagerating... I try telling him this and he ignores me and says I'll make good money. This even goes as far as him telling me not to go to college to be a nurse ....
I found two jobs I would like to do and I told him and all he did was carry on about how they were too far which its no further than he goes for work, its not in London, and he flat out told me no.
I don't see how my career is his choice ... I don't understand why he doesn't listen to anything I want. I never told him what to do with his career.
What should I do?
2007-09-06 02:02:00 · 10 answers · asked by Rhyannonn C 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband should be supportive with any job you choose. If he’s not wanting to be supportive and see your views on an “office job” then he’s being selfish. He’s trying to control you. It’s not all about making good money. If your unhappy at a job all you’re going to do is create complications in your marriage. Then he’s going to blame you for the rocky marriage. You have told him 2 choices that interest you and he should leave that up to you. So go ahead and apply at both. You make the decision on which job u want.
Hun I think it awesome that you want to extend your career. I say go for it. Just explain to him that being a nurse has benefits. Tell him one of these days your going to have a part in saving his life….
2007-09-06 02:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by blueyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should not interfere with your career choice (unless it meant relocating, then it should be a mutual decision). Based on what your telling me, your husband is controlling you, or at least trying to, and you are his puppet jumping everytime he tells you too.
A marriage SHOULD maintain their own self-independence, meaning each should have their OWN goals, their OWN accomplishments, and ya'll bring them together, into one. Right now, this is not the way it is.
This is what you should do. Apply for the jobs YOU want and GO! If he disapproves, let him make the decision to leave. Go to school! That is such an impressive goal coming from you and you should follow your dreams. Please do, for yourself. Good luck.
2007-09-06 02:14:52 · answer #2 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you need to do what make you happy. At the end of all of it, you have to be happy with what you do in life. Don't let your husband bully you into not choosing the career you would like to pursue. You both need to sit and talk about the issue and come to an understanding. He needs to support you, just like you support him. if he loves you, everything will work itself out.
2007-09-06 05:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by Caribbeanprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree - it's YOUR career, not his. He doesn't get to make dictatorial decisions about YOUR life and YOUR happiness.
If it were me, I'd apply for those two jobs, interview and talk to him again and make a decision based on more information then. Come with all the information about the jobs - salary, benefits, commuting costs...
Remember, though. In the end, it's YOUR life you're talking about and YOUR decision to make. No one should force you to do things that make you unhappy. If he's not listening to you on this topic, go get some counseling and work it out.
Good luck!
2007-09-06 02:06:53 · answer #4 · answered by Durga sings the classics 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie down for that. You didnt tell him what to do with his career, and there's no reason why he (or anyone for that matter) should tell you what to do with yours.
Perhaps just remind him that there's more to life than money, and that you don't interfere in his career. Also ask him whether he wants a happy wife or a miserable wife?
All the best....
2007-09-06 02:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably apprehensive about you having to clean cheesy di**s for a living, which is a little bit understandable.
I'd vote for compromise, but I am old school.
The majority of the replies all sound like divorcees and broken families to me so I guess this is what it'd be fashionable to do.
Just have a mega fight and file for divorce or something, I mean if that's gonna save your life.
2007-09-06 08:22:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop talking about it. If you don't talk about it, he can't argue about it. Do what you want to do. Your career IS your choice. Your husband has stated his opinion, and all you are required by the customs of courtesy to say is, "Duly noted." I will never understand why so many women seem to think they HAVE to do what their husbands WANT them to do, even if the husband does state it like a demand.
2007-09-06 02:14:52 · answer #7 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think having an open dialouge on something like this would be helpful He is your husband and should have part say in this decision. You have to do everything together. Comprimise.
2007-09-06 06:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by Shootsscores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need his permission to pursue your career. Tell him you don't like his job either and what is he going to do about it?
2007-09-06 02:21:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not what you should do, but what he should do. He should seek professional help-therapy for his control issues.
2007-09-06 02:07:29 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋