im here for SERIOUS help ONLY?

Question

i am 17 years of age i was raped in august, we are currently awaiting trail, i'm pressing charges, i have doctors proof his sperm was indeed found in me.
i am pregnant, by this man..
my last period was last period was july 17th, i am currently 7 weeks pregnant, i have seen an obgyn and got an ultrasound.
my best friend told me about yahoo, i figure i can not be judged here because no one knows who i really am, so i do not have to worry about people finding out.

should i abort this child? or adoption?
part of me loves the child because i know 50% of this baby is me,and i don't like the idea honestly of killing something i created..

any advice is welcome..

thanks for taking time to listen,
sue

excuse me,
i was a virgin before this happened
so unless im the next virgin mary
it IS his child

Answer 1

I do really understand the problems you are going thru now..! I feel very sorry for you...!!

BUT, I strongly feel, you have to go for abortion..! its not only good for you.. but for the child too..! Emotionaly, its difficult, but again.... in future there are chances that,

1) You may have feeling of resentment towards child.
2) To grow up a child as a single parent (i swear its very difficult)
3) Later, There are chances for this kid, go thru some social problems too..!
4) World is small, in case in future when the kid knows about 'these issues' or they want to meet thier father???

Before, doing anything consult you legal advisor too..!

Take care.. Sue..!

Answer 2

Aww I'll be praying for you...

it's hard because I'm not in your situation, I will let you know I'm 21 incase that means anything so I'm still pretty young to try to put myself in your place. If I was in your shoes, and I know everything is easier said than done, but I would first of all make sure this man does not know anything about the pregnancy because then he has his rights and I don't feel a child should know his father in that kind of a situation for the child's own well being. I think you should keep the child though. I know a few women who have been in your situation who have chosen the adoption route, DO NOT ABORT, and who have regretted it the older they got. Give this baby a good life, be a great mother and someday you will find a man who will raise this baby as his own. Whether or not you want to tell the child the situation, or if you find a man and the baby is young enough to where the child doesn't know better, allow the man to adopt and take his name.

Whereas adoption for your someday hubby is concerned, as long as you don't have a father's name on the birth certificate, then there isn't a problem. Your someday hubby will be able to adopt without questions asked to the biological father.

My cousin was raped and kept her child, didn't put a name on the birth certificate in the father's place, granted the child is now 5 but her fiance wants to adopt him when they get married and can without getting the father's authorization because the father isn't on the birth certificate

:) Good luck and I follow your heart. You said part of you wants to keep it..go with that instinct. Trust me.

Answer 3

I dont understand why people are saying that her dates dont makes sense. If she had her last period on July 17th she was likely ovulating 2 weeks later, which is July 31st. If she was raped the first week of August, it is very possible. That would make her 7 weeks by her last period, as she said. You dont know if this young lady has a regular period or when she ovulates so why be so nasty and just assume because the dates could be off a couple of days by YOUR calendar that she is lying. Harsh.

Anyway, I am really sorry that you are in the situation. Speak to your parents or a cloe rlative. You will need their help if you decide to keep the baby. I have a friend that was raped and became pregnant. She decided to keep the baby and the little one is 5 now and the joy of her life. She had a hard time the first year though.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 4

Let me guess, Jenn A-you flunked math, right?

Here on earth the 1st of August was 5 weeks and 1 day ago.

Sue, I am so sorry about your situation. But I would say if there is ANY part of you that feels abortion is wrong, not to do it. You already have to live with the rape, don't add to your burden.

As another poster so beautifully put it, your tragedy could be someone else's miracle. A baby is such a powerful way of saying that beauty can come from ashes and a wonderful healing statement to make to the world. Or perhaps you would even raise this child yourself, although that is a huge decision to make. I assume since you were a virgin that your near future plans did not include raising a child. Either way, I think you will NEVER regret giving this child life.

God Bless You and good luck!

Answer 5

Honestly my opinion would be to abort the baby. I know it's not the best idea, but it may be the best decision. I am going on week 5 of my pregnancy and I am already so attached to this child. If you would carry it to full term just think of how much you will want to keep it. Yeh, the baby is 50% of you but think what the other 50% is. Does the child want to grow up maybe finding out that it's father was a criminal and raped people and that's how it was created. If you don't want to abort it I would definitely give it up for abortion. And your worried about people finding out. Just think of what they are going to say when your belly gets huge. Good Luck!

Answer 6

You poor girl, I feel desperatley sad for you. What a terrible terrible decision you face. You need to look within yourself to know what to do, I'm sure no-one could criticise you for having an abortion bearing in mind what has happened. But if you'd rather keep the baby, that is entirely your choice.

I take it you won't tell the child if and when it grows up? But there will be someone somewhere who knows that he/she was the result of rape and there wil always be the risk of that person telling your son/daughter.

On the other hand, this child is innocent and deserves to be given life whatever the circumstances.

Do you have someone that you can talk to? Maybe your parents or a councillor? You cannot deal with this pain alone. I wish you the very best of luck whatever you decide.

Answer 7

I am against abortion. If I were you - I would probably put the child up for adoption - that would be hard too, but I don't know if I could be constantly reminded of what happened. Even though the child did NOTHING wrong, that's a hard question. I'm sorry you're going through this. You'll make the right decision - just weigh all the options and seriously think about things.

Answer 8

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. After reading what you wrote about how you feel about this baby being 50% yours I do not think that you could live with yourself if you had an abortion. It is hard to give a child up for adoption after carring it for 9 months and giving birth, but if you are unable to keep this child for obvious reasons it is the best option. Whatever you decide to do go with your heart and your feelings and do not let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want to do with this baby, even your parents.

Answer 9

In response to J D's comment about how most churches approve of abortions when it involves rape or incest.....what in the heck kind of church is that? Do they not read the 10 commandments - THOU SHALL NOT KILL.

Now, to the poster - I am not judging or trying to condemn you for even suggesting an abortion as an alternative. I am strongly against abortion. I too was in a similar situation as you are now, when I was 15. I got pregnant from a boy that forced me to have sex. It was date rape. I was forced to have an abortion by my parents and to this day, I regret it. I would have rather gave the baby up for adoption. It is not the child's fault that they were created because of rape. Please consider adoption and give a family the child they long to have. I wish you the best and if you ever want to chat feel free to contact me. I have been in your shoes and was forced to take the easier way out and it has affected me my whole life. Don't believe anyone when they tell you it's just tissue inside you. Life begins at conception. Don't feel ashamed if you chose adoption...you will be doing the best thing for that child - giving them love by YOU and the new parents.

Answer 10

Having a baby as a young age is a great devotion especially when you were raped. Anyway, this is all about you now. Think things through how you feel about this baby for it's innocent. If you have financial problem but wish the baby for a better life, without you feeling too sad losing it, let him be adopted.
If you want to raise a child on your own you have to make sure you're willing to sacrifice. Child needs lots of love and attention.

Answer 11

I was raped when I was 16 and was afraid of becoming pergnant (it was stress that delayed my period). I was going throught the same question you are. However, you can be the only one to answer that. I can tell by your posting that you would be upset aborting the baby. I'm going to go for along shot here and say that you might be upset adopting it out as well. Maybe you could do an open adoption, so you can still see the baby and know how he/she's doing, but not have a constant reminder of how he/she arrived in the world.

I also want to say congratulations on having the courage to stand up for yourself and pressing charges. I, unfortunatly, was not. I hope you do will in trial. Best wishes!