please help me choose a surname?

Question

my partners name is barrett and mine at the moment is collins, were expecting our 1st baby in november and he wants us all to have his surname, i dont feel getting married is right for me yet, weve both been there before, i was thinking of changing back to my maiden name which is corfield and then giving the baby's surname as corfield-barrett or barrett-corfield that way she will have both our names and if we do ever get married we could easily drop corfield, he hates the idea but double barrelled surnames are common now, what do you think and what sounds best corfield-barrett or barrett-corfield ? thanks.

yes, i got divorced 4 yrs ago after 10 yrs and havnt had the need to change back until now, i dont want to change to barrett as it will look like i want to be married when i dont,

Answer 1

I AM very happily married, but chose not to change my surname from my maiden name..... My kids all have my surname as a second middle name, but their father's surname. So when you say their whole names, they know they have a bit from mummy and a bit like like daddy....and sounds like 2 surnames, but there is no confusion with hyphenated names, etc......
If I were in your shoes...I'd return to using my maiden name for myself, to restore my own identity, and give the child the father's surname, and use your surname as a middle name.... Be optimistic that things will work out....and even if they don't.....it doesn't change where baby came from, and plenty of kids have different surnames than their mothers....it has never caused me any dramas... ( I have four kids). Good luck.

Answer 2

Just flip a three-side coin: Corfield, Barrett or Collins. Perhaps, you should try saying the baby's name together with any of the possible surnames and see what sounds best. Other thing you could do is try and find the meaning of the surnames and keep the one you like best.

And if you like the idea of the double barrelled surname, I would suggest Barrett-Corfield, if you intend to drop Corfield in the future.

Answer 3

Corfield-Barrett sounds good to me as a surname or first name for a boy Corfield Barrett or girl Amy Corfield Barrett

Answer 4

Corfield-Barrett

Answer 5

I think it's important here to note that if you choose Barrett-Corfield, the child's last name will inevitably be shortened to just Corfield... and I don't think that's what you/your bf want. I would just go with Barrett for the child. It's nice that your bf wants you to have his surname, but it's your personal choice. Just wait until you get married to take on his name, which sounds like will happen eventually.

If you do end up giving the child both your names, I'd for sure do Corfield-Barrett for the above reason. But it's quite a mouthful! Good luck.

Answer 6

I work in a school and double barrelled surnames are pretty common now. I understand u wanting your child to take your maiden name and fair enough marriage might not be for you yet so this would be the best option, but you both have to agree on this as it could cause resent and arguements later. You don't have to be married for your child to take on your partners name, personally I think the child should take on the fathers name, a bit bit old-fashioned maybe. If you do go for the double barrelled name I think it should be Barrett-Corfield, the fathers name first, but this is something YOU TWO have to agree on not for someone from the opublic to tell you what to do, you both made the child. Good luck x

Answer 7

Barrett-Corfield

Answer 8

it is extremely hard to make changes after everything is set in stone. so even thinking about dropping a name later could get difficult. if you absolutely want the child to have your name, give it to her. if you are still torn, you could use corfield as a middle name and barrett as the last name. Elizabeth Corfield Barrett. you need to think of how the child will feel with her name while she is growing up. you can't blame him for wanting the baby to carry is his name, for men, it's a legacy thing. just keep in mind that to add or drop anything once it's on the birth certificate is not easy.

Answer 9

Hyphenated names really should be reserved for womwn who want to keep their maiden names and thake their husband's name. Not for babies who have a father. Imagine if she is established in her career before marriage. What if she'd want to hyphenate? Toooo long.

Maybe you two get married in the future... you may take your hubby's name and you would all have the same name anyways.

I was not married to my hubby when our son was born. But I KNEW we would eventually be married and I gave him his father's name. We are now married.

But I will tell you that insurance claims were a nightmare because the hospital confused our son's last name because it didn't match mine.

And dropping Corfield would not be easily done. There are legalities, paperwork and fees involved. Not to mention confusion with schools, daycares, insurance, etc.

My last name was changed at age 7. It is still confusing at times, even though I am 33 now. When I went to get married, I had to explain why my baptism record didn't match my birth certificate. I had my fingers crossed that the church wouldn't require me tracking down the legal paperwork for the name change.

Also, how did you like growing up with the name Corfield? Did you run into problems like someone above mentioned with CORNfield? You know how kids can be sometimes. And if you hypehate, they could say something like "Suzie lives in the Barrett Cornfield."

Not that I am trying to make fun. I swear when I was looking for a name for our son, I looked for any possible way the name could be made fun of.

Whatever you decide, try to think of the impact on the child, rather than your own desires.

Also keep in mind that sharing a last name with their child is extremely important to a man. It's his connection to the child. Moms get the connection through pregnancy and childbirth.

Answer 10

I would either name baby in your name and change it to his when/if you marry or name baby in fathers name.
Double-barrel names are very common now due to unmarried parents.
If you go for double-barrel your child as an adult will have a similar dilema to that you have now but will need to choose between 4 surnames - to choose 1 name,4 names, or make up an acronym?!? Enough said.