My boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year now and trying to have sex since jan 07 (i am a virgin) i really want to do it my bf is calm and understanding and very very patient, but everytime we have sex i am excited and really in the mood and mentally calm yet when his penis gets anywhere near the opening of my vagina i pull away or my thighs start shaking and i close my legs this is depressing me so much i just want to have sex with the man i love and care about but my body doesnt seem to be letting me, i personally don't think its medical more like im nervous deep down how can i calm myself down is there pills i could take to relax my body or maybe my mind even more? i dont feel peer pressured or pressured by my boyfriend he always says he can wait as long as it takes but i dont want to i just want to have sex share something special with my boyfriend and experience this wonderful event but i really cant (not through lack of trying) does any1 else have this problem or advice
2007-09-06 00:06:32 · 12 answers · asked by Stacey H 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
sweetie, you're young, its a long life why rush it
and you can be sexual in a hundred million ways without actually having "sex" (vaginal intercourse)
dont worry about it, it will happen when the time is right - do other things in the meantime
2007-09-06 00:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by Froggie S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
What is happening with you is due to Penetration Phobia. Penetration phobia is usually a psychological phenomenon. Its cause is invariably a deep-rooted psychological fear related to the genitals, mostly due to physical and/or psychological trauma in the earlier years of life or as a learned fear caused by hearing myths about painful penetration during the vulnerable and impressionable growing years. You may or may not be consciously aware of the root cause. Once the root cause is identified through psychoanalysis, the treatment progresses rapidly. No medication can help in this situation. A sex therapist trained in counselling and psychotherapy is better equipped to help you.
Many girls carry an apprehension about sexual intercourse and therefore are unable to comfortably respond during the first few experiences of intercourse. This may also happen because her emotional involvement in this relationship is not yet ripe. A woman's sexuality is usually heart oriented. A woman usually gets aroused only when she is emotionally involved with the partner. Don't rush things. Let relax into this relationship. If things still do not change, then there might be a physical cause.
Enjoy Life.
2007-09-06 00:42:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read what Dr. Mojo said. Maybe he's right.
Or you may be just frightened and unready.
Try to remember- were you told any weird or scary stories about sex, pregnancy, or how painful it is for a virgin? Did, god-forbid, anyone abuse you? It's natural to be scared, but its no good if you are like freaking out. Do you get panicky, nauseous, or feel disgust when you do sexual things with your bf? If so, it may a bigger problem than "girlish maidenhood".
If you think it may be a big problem, talk to a counselor. If not, I like the advice about you getting on top- and hey, some girls have no pain whatsoever.
BTW, your bf sounds like a great guy.
2007-09-06 01:50:25 · answer #3 · answered by ThatGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to see a doctor and maybe a sex therapist . You are not alone in suffering this problem . I am sure there are good remedies to help you get over it . Deep down you probably have a fear of being hurt . Do you and your boyfriend perform oral sex ; it is possible that if he went down on your vagina with his lips and tongue bringing you to orgasm ; that afterwards you would allow him to enter with his penis . You could buy a vibrator via mail order or a sex shop and practice stimulating and penetrating yourself in private . I think once you have overcome the phobia of penetration by yourself , you may not have the problem of letting your boyfriend enter you .
2007-09-06 03:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww sweety, has there been any harassment accomplished to you?? Any in any respect? in any different case your strategies may be a seen version of an apprehension of what ought to ensue to you, or an apprehension of what's going to ensue to you. it is likewise achieveable that this one *imaginative and prescient* you're having has something to do with "seeing" the destiny. you're having a sever case of instinct (once you may tell something is going to ensue). All of those issues could properly be small solutions on your question. yet although, there may be an more suitable reason of this. i understand you do not decide for to take heed to this, yet tell mom! She's the single that could get you to the often used practitioner or consult with you or monetor you. you need to tell somebody approximately this different than human beings you do not understand online :) i'm hoping your strategies gets greater effective :):):)
2016-11-14 08:10:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not be ready. Even though you say you are. If deep down inside you have concerns or second thoughts this could be a sign to stop. If you are really ready, just relax it will happen with time.
2007-09-06 01:52:06 · answer #6 · answered by aldrich061007 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The simple solution is for you to get on top. That way you can control everything and go as slowly as you like.
2007-09-06 00:16:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe deep down inside it's not the right thing to do. maybe wait a little while longer!
2007-09-06 00:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a couple of shots of vodka. That'll calm you down.
2007-09-06 00:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by Midnight Pariah 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
this just shows you are not ready mentally to take it to that level
2007-09-09 23:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋