Just curious..Is DIVORCE and SEPARATION the only way to settle family or r'ship prblms??

Question

How come when it comes to r'ship or family problems majority of you would think of Divorce or Separation...isnt there any other solutions to settle the prblm?? no offence... just curious..

Isnt divorce a pain process to all of the individuals involved?? including the innocent children

Answer 1

Absolutely not. Divorce and separation are not the only & right ways to settle family or relationships problems. In my previous reply to your question, I also emphasized that plz never think of these ugly words since they are highly hazardous to the couple & most importantly the innocent children. The best way is reconciliation, sacrifice to some extent and removing communication barriers. Perceptions differ due to biased attitude, upbringing, peer pressure & external environment. Trivial issues can damage the sacred institution of marriage. Every issue has its pros & cons; so one should consider other's point of view also. People undergoing such problems should sit together, give vent to their feelings, listen patiently to other's view-points and arrive at an amicable solution. If the intentions are right, harmonious relations can be build up again.

Answer 2

The majority don't, you are generalizing. If you actually read most of these questions you will find years of trying to work things out with someone who has no interest in compromising or meeting somewhere in the middle. What advice do you suggest someone who has suffered repeated demeaning lies and cheating from their spouse? Just suck it up and take it since obviously nothing is going to change? You would actually come across as someone who really cares if you were suggesting that couple spend more time BEFORE they get married in counseling to get a better understanding of each other. Even then, people change as they age, and if the relationship doesn't grow then at some point the connection is lost. Do too many people use divorce as an excuse for their own immaturity and lack of character? Sure they do. But I've found that alot of the pain on this forum comes from the realization that nothing is ever going to change and that moving on is the only answer that gives a person some hope. Forever is a long time to live in hopelessness.

Answer 3

I agree with you on this one.
I think that divorce should be considered as a last resort, having been through one myself.
A separation is not necessarily a bad thing, as nothing is definite; If anything, depending on the circumstances, it can be an incentive for a partner to put their acts together.
Sometimes, what people need, is just a break in their daily routine; Some time to themselves, either just the two of them, or on their own.
What also works, is the fact that you can share your problems with someone who cares and isn't on anybody's side, but the couple's best interest; And that's a marriage counsellor.
Again, I think that it is something that a couple can do either one at a time or obviously both together.
So, in fact, there are lots of possibilities out there.
What one needs, is obviously a shoulder to cry on from someone who has no interest in making things worse.
Some help to break the routine: help with looking after the children for example to give the couple some time and some relief.
Obviously if things were so easy, people wouldn't be divorcing, but before considering that option, people need to calm down, as when you're upset, angry, full of resents then you unlikely to make the right decision.
I am glad that I made up my mind on my own to divorce, as I would probably want to blame someone.
It made me feel better, but it really hurt my children.
So, if I could turn the clock back, I might have done things differently knowing what I do today.

Answer 4

it depends on the issues involved. If it's a issues like cheating or reoccurring things that never change after talking sometimes it's best even for the innocent children involved to just divorce. Of course it's always best to try to work things out 1st there are times it's not POSSIBLE. I think the divorce rate would go down by people WAITING TO GET MARRIED!. Getting married in your late teens early 20's is always a real bad ideal. young people don't know what they are getting into.

Answer 5

Divorce or separation are not the best solutions. People should try to communicate to eachother then try to find some professional help. It requires very hardwork to continue the relationship even with a counselor support. Perhaps some people do not want to keep trying hard and end the relationship as quickly as possible. But sometimes no professional help can save the relationship either.
Main problem is people do not want to apply empathy to eachother. They do not want to ask the question: "What I would do if I were him/her?" So they would like to choose the quickest solution.
Ofcourse divorce or separation is a painful process but some people I think find it the easiest way to solve their problems.

Answer 6

Those are the easiest responses for intellectually lazy people to type (and to implement in their own lives). If you want other ideas, click on my icon and peruse some of my answers. I give people actual, practical suggestions for improving their marriages from within, and I don't think I have ever recommended divorce. I'm sure I've never recommended separation.

Answer 7

I think people need to have more patience and communicate and stop going into relationships and or marraige with the ideals that its going to be a damn fairy tale, and noone wants to take responsibility for their actions anymore or try everyone is so quick to only point out there partners faults or flaws and not to communicate or really try - quitters I think people should try to communicate if they cant and need a third person in there cause they are immature then go to a counselor for Gods sake

Answer 8

Of course divorce is not the only way. Just as moving on isn't the only way. However, when they give us the details, they sometimes are saying (maybe without knowing) that they are contemplating divorce. So, when we advise them to divorce, we're really telling them what they just need to hear from another person. I think more than not, that we advise them to try and talk it out. Just my opinion, ok?

Answer 9

Divorce and separation are the worst ways to solve relationship problems.

Sit down and listen and talk to each other. That is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. Take this serious and take divorce and separation more serious, cause div/sep does not only effect you and your spouse. It effects everyone that knows you.

Think positive(listen, talk, problem resolve), not negative(divorce/separation). life is too short for negativity.

Answer 10

People are lazy and don't care to work through their problems. It's easier to divorce than face the truth. If that was my case I woulda divorced while I was pregnant with child number 2 and only 2 years into my marriage. I love my husband and WANT to be with him. Sadly divorce is too easy to get. Marriage is a constant struggle, and it's fun.