I got married Aug. 4th and I am ready to leave. I have not even slept in bed since a week after we got married. We have a two year old together. I was so happy when we got married now I just want to cry cause i dont want to be with him. Age never bothered me he is38 I am 22 But i want to go find someone younger. Please dont tell me I should have never married him cause of the age. I just want to know if this is a normal feeling or not. I do love him I just dont feel the way i used to. HELP!!!!!
2007-09-05 18:46:58 · 30 answers · asked by doepy_143 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can you people not read!!! Stop with the age thing I should have just left it out!!!!!
2007-09-05 19:00:14 · update #1
You can only find happiness within yourself. Don't get pissed at him for being who he is. You've known him for over two years. You knew who you were marrying... right? Take time to reflect on you. And ask yourself this. What makes you happy? If he were to pass away tomorrow would you regret not sleeping with him? If you were in a traumatic accident would he be at your side? Do you love him? You can only live your life for you... Live without regret. Choose happiness.
2007-09-05 20:47:47 · answer #1 · answered by writeright 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to sort out your feelings, and get to the root of why your feelings changed, and why you are feeling this way.
Did you marry him because he is your baby's father, and you felt obligated? You believed you were in love with him, but it was really that you had a child together?
You said you want to find someone younger. Now that you have married him is the age difference becoming a problem? I don't know why you are being defensive about the age question. It seems like it bothers you fro some apparent reason, or you wouldn't have said you want someone younger.
2007-09-05 19:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by deeterluvscj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry...but the age IS an important factor..you have a 2 year old child together..so, you've been dating him since you were what? 19? When a 35 year old "man" has to go scooping up teenagers for a date, there is a BIG PROBLEM. You were supposed to be out in the world becoming who YOU are. Now you are married, still a child trying to raise a child with a person old enough to be your own father and you are not happy. No wonder about that. I am sorry that you (and this child) are in this situation. You could try a good marriage counselor to see if there is anything worth saving here. I am so sorry. Have you talked to your husband about any of this/ How is he with your child? There is so much more stuff going on here than 'YOU" are not happy. You have a child to think about. S/he comes first. Is this a good, happy stable home for him/her?
2007-09-05 19:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by ya kiddin, right 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
They say that after the wedding period, there's a letdown when you find you are no longer the center of attention now that the wedding plans and all that are over and done and the wellwishers have gone home. Marriage is work, and it's a 24 hour 7 days a week 365 day a year commitment. You decide and he decides every day whether to make it work or not. Examine why you married him, see why you are feeling letdown, could it be marriage planning withdrawal?
I think you really need to examine why you make the choices you make and why you are suddenly panicking. Find a professional therapist for yourself and fast.
2007-09-05 18:53:04 · answer #4 · answered by brilliantyetconfused 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For better or for worse...those words were meant to convey your lifetime commitment, remember? Now one month later, you're ready to pack it in? You'll never succeed in any romantic relationship with an attitude like that.
You need to work on your marriage and not be governed by your changing emotions. Anyone's marriage that has lasted any length of time has weathered many a storm. Stick with him!!! That's what marriage IS--a commitment!
Here is a site I personally have found helpful in providing understanding of the dynamics between husbands and wives:
http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/crazy_cycle.php
Get marriage counseling and read some books on improving your marriage if you need to. Love is a decision to act in the best interests of the other person, not a fairy-tale feeling that always floats.
2007-09-05 20:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by Rella 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No this is not normal. I don't thinks its the age this either. Maybe you just not ready to be married. Maybe u got married for the wrong reason, or maybe you just don't love the guy. I think you should talk to him and let him know how you feel. If you are not happy, then it will never work.
2007-09-05 19:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by Dallas 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know what you are going though cause i married a guy 10 years older than me . he had a child before we were married by somew one else and didn't tell me until after we were married i let it go until 1 month after marriage and i wanted out but that not the only thing he was friends with another woman with a baby which we end up keeping but the mother wasn't ready to give cause she wanted my husband it almost came to a divoice but you know you can work problems out by talking to him tell him how you feel. i did and you know what we have been married 27 yrs. this july 5. to me age does not matter as long as you and him love each other. we did.
2007-09-05 19:03:54 · answer #7 · answered by chobits 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's why so many marriages break up, because people dont know the consequences of marriage. Its easy to get married but to go on and keep it going takes maturity, efforts, understanding and love. And all of those things are missing with you. You are to blame and you have to find a solution. Besides, did you not know his age? It is very unfair now to say you want to go and find somebody younger, Let me tell you something, you are 22 as you said, but according your behaviours 12.
2007-09-05 19:02:29 · answer #8 · answered by Rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You obviously jumped into marriage way too soon. What seems like love, sometimes is just lust. Love is something that can not be explained in words, but once you have been there, nothing else compares. Try marriage counseling before splitting up. Please, whatever you do, DO NOT GET PREGNANT until you are sure that the marriage will last. You do not want a child to suffer for your mistakes. I wish you luck. I hate to see you give up so soon.
2007-09-05 18:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to say this but you should have really thought about
this before you got marry, the age is a big things, and it
was something that you really should have deal with,
if you truly live him then why dont you want to be with him
now. it sound like you are looking for a reason to move
on., but you have a child as well so time to deal with what
really is the problem l talk to someone about how you feel
then do what is best for all conerned.
2007-09-05 18:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋