Why don't couples marry for life anymore?

Question

I really admired the old couples that took their wedding vows seriously and would marry till "death do us part". I discussed this with my girlfriend and we both don't understand what is wrong with modern society. We both admire the muslim countries for having such low divorce rates and their strict morals.

In marriage couples are promising to always love one another no matter what, but it seems they rarely follow through anymore.

I feel unless the husband is doing something so wrong like beating up his wife or molesting his children that the wife shouldn't leave him and vice versa. My girlfriend and I both feel girls these days are spoiled too much and allowed to get away with way too much. That could be partly do to the mans fault spoiling his wife; they should look to arab women as the ideal household wife.

Answer 1

SELF-CENTEREDNESS!!! This new generation only think of themselves. Selfish people should never get married until theyr'e willing to give of themselves. It's about give and take. The roles of husband and wife NOW are not what it takes to make it. Wives are suppose to be helpmates, not equal. She is the weaker( loving, caring, nurturing, supportive) and men are the stronger( provider, protector, leader). I'm celebrating my 17th anniversary this month, so I know something about marriage, and what it takes to make it work.

Answer 2

Well, this world, and this society (america in general), seems to have pretty much sucked out the soul from nearly everything. Everything from marriage, to sex, to loving your job, to friends, to morals, to it all.

Marriage nowadays if anything, is seen as just a business transaction, and many marriages are FAR from "till death do us part." Many also choose to be open.

Yes, these days everyone is spoiled, and proud, egotistic, and money is the ruler of the air.

It's just how it is, who knows if this will last long or not, maybe it's just a phase, if not, then don't worry it will come crashing down, and everyone will kill each other off, and then we'll start over again.

I mean, all the downward spiral of things can't end with smileys and hugs now can it?

:::Looking forward to the day when the sh(t hits the fan:::


In the mean time, yes, look elsewhere (out of the US) for inspiration, because there are still glimmers of hope out there, and ideals which are NOT broken.

Answer 3

To give long term marriage a chance there are a few things that help. A couple should date no less than a year before becoming engaged. The odds of failure are greater when the couple is young. Having the same values, religion, and mutual desire for children or not. You do marry the family, so best get along if possible. Are the couple debt free or almost so. Couples that shack up prior to marriage have a greater chance of divorce. Arab women? are you serious? Let a Arab woman marry a Arab man. Sad to say Arab men rule the home...You can't tell me that in Muslim countries they are any happier than we are...

Answer 4

Because the lifespan of man is not 35 any more. It used to be a couple was a functioning unit both parts were utterly necessary to make it even that many years. These days a person can survive without any assistance at all with modern conveniences. So when people drift apart... Lost the magic that was binding them together there is no motivation to work hard building something solid and lasting that is better than the flash in the pan emotion... instead they just hop into the next easy emotional fix.

We are lazy.

Answer 5

Oh brother, I have heard a lot in my life, but this is a new one.

I honestly feel it is the way both boys and girls are raised.

Either you are raised in a good wholesome home with good values instilled in you and God fearing, or your not.

I am sure if you actually asked or had a pole from muslin women, you would find that over half or more would leave their husband if they could and still live!

Do some research, seriously.

And even if you had a bad home life, you can turn yourself around and do all the opposite things that were done in your bad home.

My hubby did and we are waiting on our 20th grandbabie to be born, TOGETHER!

Listen to the song, Grandpa by the Judds.

It is all up to our new generation to change this trend and turn it right back to the times where families really bowed their heads to pray and daddies never went away!!

Good luck, God bless you and your wife to be, may you have many yrs together.

Answer 6

Old women understood better what marriage was and if you look at it, they did there daily housework as they were required to do. Even the bilble tell you that. The quran tell you that. In reference to modern societies, we have laws, life becoming more difficult, young couple rushing into marriage before they fully understand what they were getting into, the world is constantly changing, nothing is stagnant. Nowaday women believe that they are equal with men. They goes as far as saying 50%-50% at home. Some wants to be the head of household, ruling a man and of cause you know men hates thats even if some pretend that they don't care about it.. Some become influences by freinds, companies, and any little negative thing you do, becomes a big problem to justify even divorce. see how laws nowadays favors women. And these laws are made by a man. Yet men found themselves struggling through these laws. How many men are behind bars as a result of falsifications of a woman? Why does the law believe that every single word a woma say is true but they would never believe a man even if he is telling the truth, he has to suffer i.e guilty until proven innocent. Such modern problem promotes high rate of divorce. If you beat your wife, she call the cops, you are in for it for quite some time. Your record remains to hurt you. The world is total corrupt

Answer 7

Hi, I was actually married to an Arab man a few years back. I was with him for 4 years, and you know what I found out ? that Arab women have it good if you dont care that your husband is away a lot, if you dont care that your husband sleeps around and if you dont mind having to deal with men thinking that women are lower. My ex actually told me that it was ok for him to hang out with girls, and do whatever he wanted, like stay out till 5am, drink, ...
But I was not allowed and in fact , I was constantly watched by him or his sisters. I basically had no say in anything.
It was not a good life at all..
My ex husband is very very rich too, so I could have stayed with him and lived a good life financially if I didnt care what he did behind my back. And honestly that is usually what is important to Arabs and Muslim people general, financial stability is #1, then a good family and then good looks.
Love is supposed to come later. For some it does and for some it doesnt. People just dont get divorced a lot there because it is seen as a shame.
I chose my freedom and I choose to stand up for what I believe is wrong. I believe that a lot of middle eastern women cant say anything, cant speak their minds,, and because of lack of education and the ability to work, they are held back to staying with a cheating husband.
I have seen older middle eastern couples, and have spoken to them too, not all are happy... They just have to deal with it dure to cultural pressures.
The best thing I ever did was leave my ex. He was a liar, cheater and what disturbed me the most was that his sisters would tell me that everything is ok, and that I should just be happy with what I have... meaning financial.
I also see why couples here dont last very long 1- premarital sex 2- moving in together 3- having children out of wedlock I believe a lot of things that Dr. Laura says....(she is on 650 am every week day from 12-3pm) .
She believes women sleep with men too easily, and men lose respect for them, which I do believe to be true.
Divorce rates are also higher, much higher for people that move in together before marriage.
believe me if you go about courting (dating) in the right way, and know what you want in a mate, you can have a good marriage that last forever. Just be sure you are honest with yourself, and with whoever you are dating to be sure you are both looking for the same things in life and that you are both ready and mature enough for marriage....
Dr. laura has books on this also. Which you can find at her website... www.drlaura.com
p.s she is a bit harsh and very straight forward but right on the money!

Answer 8

You stated that counseling reported greater subject concerns,, there is the concern... they have some deep unresolved subject concerns that have been hidden for years.. they could desire to start up from the start and paintings forward... the subject concerns they have for the different are probable very small yet ,like a snow ball rolling down a hill, have grown to the ingredient that they are finished blown issues and it exceeded off interior the previous so as that they probable do not undergo in recommendations what they're the two.....And maximum probable sense too embarrased to convey them back up...... basically a wild wager right here yet concept i could take a shot at this one i could prefer to be attentive to the way it seems.. i'm particular this marriage could properly be stored as long as you may get them the two to open up and not argue with reference to the failings that exceeded off solid good fortune

Answer 9

My personal experience with marriage is based very strongly on observing my parents marriage. They were 18 and 20 when they married and have been married for 56 years, have raised 11 children and have been excellent role models to all my siblings. 7 of us have been married for 20 or more years and the rest are catching up.

Answer 10

I think these factors play a big role in the reasons why:
1. divorce is so common that people dont really take vows seriosuly
2. almost everyone is having pre-marital sex, so lots of people are getting married b/c they think they are in love when really they just mistake physical attraction to real emotional connection
3. people cheat...too many do, and way too often.
4. People think marriage is all wonderful and easy like in the movies - so when they experience a rough patch and when things arent as perfect as they seemed, people just give up and assume "they're not right for eachother" rather than actually trying to make the marriag work

It upsets me too, marriage isnt how it used to be....