"fleeing leads not to bliss
for had my passion outraged my pauser reason"
2007-09-05 15:43:34 · 4 answers · asked by Q&A 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Hey bud, I think it's cool that you are trying to write in English but this is a little not right...
"Fleeing leads not to bliss" is ambiguous enough to carry meaning in English. In fact, the sentence could be beautiful.
"Passion outraged my pauser reason" is confusing.
Why?
I can understand passion outraged. I cannot translate the word "pauser" and I cannot connect it with the word "reason." I hope that helps?
2007-09-05 16:07:06 · answer #1 · answered by margot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I'm not sure what you are trying to say here, in the second line anyway.
Hey, you can say anything you want in a poem! It's more understandable than a lot of the trash that gets published as poetry these days!
Seriously, the second line needs to be a little clearer--'pauser' isn't really a word, I don't think, but could be understandable in the right context. [Sorry, I hope you understand me now!] It sounds like it should connect to a third line.....
2007-09-05 22:56:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not OK if you are not sure about what you want to say. What exactly are you trying to say?
2007-09-06 02:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i believe it is not, because it is not understood. whatever you are trying to say, does not come across in those words, try again.
2007-09-05 23:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by * 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋