I have been seeing someone for about 3-4 months. I love him, but I still haven't told him the truth. I was born with a female internal reproductive system. I have a uterus, cervix, etc. But I have a male external reproductive system, meaning I have a penis. It works perfectly fine and I can pass as female, but he still doesn't know.
When and how should I tell him? Also, I won't be getting a sex change any time soon, so don't suggest it please.
2007-09-05 14:59:35 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't know what will freak him out more. Me not being all woman, or me not being all man.
2007-09-05 15:11:53 · update #1
No-one here can tell you WHEN or HOW to tell him; that's something that only you can figure out. Only you now him, and your relationship, well enough.
But if you intend to have an intimate, sexual relationship with him, you will have to tell him, for your own safety if nothing else; very few men can handle finding this sort of thing out for themselves, and many react violently.
Of course you won't be getting a 'sex change'; why should you? You're not transsexual.
But you might want to think about corrective surgery; it should be possible without risk to your sexual or reproductive abilities. It's an option.
And please don't take some of the answers above seriously; you're not deceiving him, you're not doing anything wrong (and you certainly aren't 'raping' him). You're a woman who was born with a congenital anomaly; it's not something you had any control over, and it's not something you need to feel ashamed about.
2007-09-06 04:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would feel him out first by bringing up reading about or hearing about intersexed people to gauge his reaction first. There are just as many out there who would react violently as there are that would be perfectly fine with it. It should be something that you start testing and gaging as soon as you can because it could very easily be said that you are lying to him by not telling him.
Other than suggesting to test the waters before you come straight out and tell him all I can do is wish you the best of luck.
2007-09-05 22:17:16 · answer #2 · answered by Manny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll be up front and honest, if you had done this to me I know it would take a few real men to hold be from beating the crap out of you. In a way what you have been raping this guy. Rape is not just a physical attack but also an emotional and physiological act. You got him on two of these.
You have to understand that it is not what you are, but what you did that angers me. As you said yourself, you can pass as female, but that doesn't make you a woman.
2007-09-05 22:15:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
think of the shoe being on the other foot.
i think you need to tell him soon as possible, because if you two get deep in love, and he finds out too late, he may end up dumping you. then you would be hurt because he left you when you could have told him sooner.
you never know, he may accept it and continue to stay with you. just give it a shot before you end up urting the guy.
2007-09-05 22:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by crazy s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one. No matter how you say it he is not apt to take it well. I really feel for you. But I don't think there is a straight man on the face of the earth that would continue to have a relationship with you under those circumstances.Sorry if that sounds harsh but that is my honest opinion.
2007-09-05 22:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's is something that you should have told him from the very beginning. There is a chance he will not take it very well. And if he finds out unexpectedly before you can explain, there is always the chance, he may hurt you. Tell him before he finds out the wrong way.
2007-09-05 22:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by cris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I never seen or heard of a woman with a penis. Weird...well you should just tell him. I mean, what if he finds out at the wrong time? Then you're screwed. Haha but yeah, tell him, and soon. Cause if you don't, it'll all go downhill from there.
2007-09-05 22:10:12 · answer #7 · answered by Daniel 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Truth hurt but got to tell him eventually.
Early better than later before falling into deeper
2007-09-05 22:08:13 · answer #8 · answered by jean l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should approach it as a what if persona at first and see how the conversation goes.. I don't know, perhaps you should be honest about it all together..
2007-09-05 22:05:08 · answer #9 · answered by dns618 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to know,before he starts feeling.
2007-09-05 22:07:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋