what do you guys think about this?

Question

i go to a private school and theres only one 8th grade class with 13 kids in it. well, i sweat really easily and lately my friend told me that people have been talking about how i smell kinda bad after our break and have sweat marks onder my arms. i have fixed the problem by switching the deodarant i use and loosing the "musky" perfume i had been wearing.

my question is..do you think that by growing some balls and telling me that my friend was right and that she must be a true friend?

Answer 1

A good friend lets you know you've got spinach stuck in your teeth, you've got lipstick on your teeth, your pants are ripped down the seam, your slip is showing, your perfume is overwhelming, you've got a booger in your nose, etc. She wont let you go on oblivious to the problem, she helps you with it. That said, an 8th grade girl just MAY have said "people have been talking" as a way to break the ice, when in fact they were not talking....but she wanted to find a way to tell you BEFORE they started talking. Either way, she helped you out, right? Just don't let it break down your self confidence, because lack of self confidence or self esteem, is just as "ugly" as poor hygiene.

That said, here are a few hints to help you along the sometimes treacherous road of puberty:

1) Shower/bath EVERY DAY. More often if you have too. Like if you've been playing or working all morning and then are going out for the evening. Once puberty hits, sweat suddenly becomes rank. And body parts which never used to stink, do. Particularly the genitalia, arm pits, hair/scalp, and sometimes feet.

2) Control feminine odor during menstruation by changing sanitary napkins often (even if they do not appear to need to be changed). Again, daily showering is essential.

3) Wash clothes. Again, smelly bodies = smelly clothing.

4) Easy on the perfume; ANY perfume. Many, many full grown women haven't a clue how offensive their perfumes are. Many people, (myself included), are allergic to perfumes. We instantly get migraine headaches, break out in hives, become itchy, and wheeze when exposed to perfume. I can tolerate most in very small doses. The proper way to wear perfume is to spray into the air and let it fall on you or simply dab a drop behind an ear or on the wrist or in the inside of the elbow. NOT ALL OVER. Perfume should be smelled INTIMATELY, meaning only in close proximity. It shouldn't fill the entire room with its scent.

5) Deodorant: There are great differences in deodorants. For instance, a deodorant simply covers odor. It De-odorizes. An anti perspirant stops or at least controls sweating. I prefer the combination anti perspirant/deodorant. If you stop the wetness, odor is less likely to develop. Again, be careful with the scent you choose. Some can be overpowering.

6) Oral hygiene. Brush your teeth before school and before attending any after school functions. I carry a travel toothbrush and travel size toothpaste in my purse. Flossing is very important, too, since some foods can get stuck between teeth and begin to rot. The rotting food causes bad breath and often times the best (or only) way to prevent bad breath is to get rid of the food. Hence, flossing the teeth is paramount. Many people believe a pretty mouth is extremely sexy. Your teeth don't have to be perfectly straight, but should be white, your breath should be fresh, and your tongue should be pink. Which reminds me: brush your tongue also. Then rinse and spit.

7) Be manicured. Hair, hands and feet are billboards others use to make presumptions for your entire body. Sure, they are not always accurate, but nonetheless, well kept women and men are seldom the ones who stink. I know it isn't really a reliable presumption. For instance, I do A LOT of gardening (flower, landscaping, etc) and don't always wear gloves. Consequently, my hands sometimes get dirt so ground in I cannot get them completely free of stains. Therefore, a look at my hands (sometimes) could cause someone to make inaccurate assumptions about my general body hygiene.

8) Shoes: If you've got ratty shoes throw them out! When I look at shoes which are old and ratty, I can't help but imagine stinky, fungus infested feet inside of them. Totally, UN-sexy, and very much a turn off. I'd be afraid to be around that person when the shoes come off.

9) White should be white. Anything that is white, should be completely white, or don't wear it. This includes shirts, coats, shoes, under garments, barrettes, etc. Stains on white just don't sit well with those looking at them. Again, maybe not fair... a newly laundered white shirt is just as clean as a newly laundered brown shirt. Both may have stains on them, but you don't see the ones on brown. Light colors are less forgiving and white, in particular, is expected to represent clean and crisp. Nothing says "trashy" like white with stains or perhaps worse yet, white with a general yellowing or graying. If you can't get it pure white again, pitch it into the garbage, or wear it when you're waxing the car or painting a room.

10) Wash your hands when leaving the restroom. Not only is not washing your hands totally disgusting and very unsanitary, but if ANYONE sees you leaving a restroom without washing your hands they will spread the word to all your classmates. Even if you didn't actually use the toilet, if you are IN a restroom, wash your hands before you leave. People LISTEN for the water running and if they don't hear it, and you come out through the door, they will assume your hands are soiled. And I mean wash them...as in properly. NOT just a quick splash under running water.

So...those are my Top Ten Helpful Hints for you, or anyone else new to puberty. (Or people, in general, really). Heed them if you like, or not. It is up to you, of course, but my experience tells me the list is reliable.

Answer 2

i think your friend was definitely right to tell you that. first of all, if your friends won't tell you something like that, then who will? second of all, no matter what the subject is, if people are talking about you behind your back and your friend told you, then she is definitely a true friend.

and as for your sweating, good call on switching deodorants. you want to make sure you're using an anit-perspirant deodorant, otherwise you'll still sweat a lot, it just won't smell bad. lol. i had this problem in school for a couple of years, and i kept it under control by taking my deodorant in my bag and re-applying it in the bathroom at break times, and by using a lightly scented body spray instead of a heavy perfume.

Answer 3

I'd dump him asap. If he likes another girl and she him, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? Real love doesn't play games or have wandering eyes, it's committed and hard work. You MUST see this as a red flag, a deal breaker, strike three. Your young, i'm guessing, you shouldn't even be considering a SERIOUS relationship that is going to cause you insecurity. Have fun, don't become overly invested in this, WHAT? you can't flirt? Move on, the writing is on the wall and it spells trouble. Do yourself a favor and cut the guy loose, if it is destined to be, it will run it's course and he'll be back. But why you would take him back only you can answer.

Answer 4

Sure do!! So long as she didn't use any offensive language when she was telling you and did it gently .................. excessive sweating is also caused by a lack of vitamin B12 in your diet. Try eating more cheese, eggs, fish and skim milks. If you're a vegetarian then go get a good quality multi B complex supplement from the chemist with all the B vitamins included - B1, B2, B3, B5, B6 and B12.

Other deficiency symptoms are headaches and migraines, nausea and vomiting, dizzy spells, insomnia, constipation, inability to concentrate, fatigue and exhaustion, moodiness and irritability ................ :0)

CHEERS

Answer 5

I would say that she was being a true friend by telling you the truth, so that you wouldn't have to suffer any embarrassment. Kids can be cruel, and by letting you know people were talking about you, she saved you from being laughed at by people. As long as she did it in a way that was not making fun of you, but just telling you the truth, she was being a great friend.

Answer 6

Look, she obviously likes hanging around with you enough to tell you the truth. The alternative solution to her problem of a smelly friend would be to keep her distance from you. Isn't it easier just to say nothing? But this way the problem is solved and hopefully you and she can still hang out together if your pride permits!

Answer 7

For sure, provided that she's telling the truth. I'd maybe quietly check with someone else first. But, imagine you having to tell her about her about a flaw like that. I personally wouldn't want to be in that situation, but even though it may seem mean at first, you'll realize that she actually meant well and was giving you a tip;)

Answer 8

She is a true friend because if she wasn't, she would just let you suffer while everybody would be talking about you. I know I had that problem a couple years ago, and I was in a public school (yeah, I know, that must've sucked), and if it hadn't been for my best friend, I would've been really lonely right about now.

Answer 9

yeah, i do. friends should tell you when there is something you have failed to notice. they're there to help you out and keep you from getting more embarrassed. I'd be glad that my friend said something instead of the guys in my class wondering why I smelled bad forever!

Answer 10

Yeah. She is a true friend, b/c she told you the truth about yourself to your face and didn't laugh and gossip about it behind your back. Trust this woman. She has your best interests at heart and is worth her weight in gold.