OK. I used to be the nice, friendly, sweet, innocent girl...that was in elementary school. I made friends easily, and if life wasn't fun I made it fun. Then I went to middle school, I got exposed to cussing, everyday school fights, and just plain old mean, rude, and disrespectful people who I didn't know. I just SHUT DOWN! like i didn't really talk to anyone 6-9th grade and when people tried to reach out and be nice to me, I basically turned them down like some evil troll or something (i can see that now but i couldn't see it then). I think it was my way of rebelling against being like them, but unfortunately i failed to see that everyone wasn't the same and that i actually hurt some people. Now (junior year),nice people who knew me since 6th grade still treat me like im still the same silent troll even though Im trying to change. I feel like I missed out on the best parts of my life...or at least the all important awkard stage. I wanna start over being that person but I don't know...
2007-09-05 14:25:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
...how to do that because i feel like im forever burdened with this image that's not me. SO, (this realy is a long question, huh?) my question to you is can you please tell me, in your opinion what my real problem is and how i can fix it? PLEASE don't be afraid to be brutally honest...I really need a wake up call, you know? Sorry this was so long...feel free to just skim it or whatever :) Thanks!
2007-09-05 14:31:48 · update #1
.
You're living with the consequences of your decisions. It's not fair or unfair, it's just what it is and you can change it.
I'd write a personal note to each person and let them know you've changed and don't dwell on why. Reach out to them and let them "see" you again.
Best wishes,
pup
.
2007-09-05 14:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by . 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry. I haven't actually gone through this myself but I know people who have. I guess adults call it the awkward teenage stage. Everyone needs to rebel at some point in their life.Here is what you need to do.
1. You admit you need change in your life.
2. Act on this and try to look at the good in people and in life. If you are feeling insecure and turn towards anger try taking that energy on making it better and not worrying so much.
3.Hav fun in life but remeber having fun doesn't mean you have to cuss or insult people or whatever you can just relax and enjoy.
4. If there are still people who are treating you like you are the same person you used to be talk to them. If they don't relize you changed you need to say something. The best way of communicating is face to face with that person.
If this doesn't help Im really sorry but you could also try and talk to someone you reallly trust. Thank you and good luck!
2007-09-05 21:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
middle school can be really tough considering "cliques" and the need to belong one way or another. Sure you missed a lot of those good times but theres still a chance.
now really, if they were "nice" people in 6th grade, im sure they would also be understanding and forgiving and know that we all dont stay the same way in our whole lives and change things.
If your gonna need to restart somewhere I really consider trying to meet new people, having at least one close friend can have it's advantages, because if your somebody is your friend, then your friend's friend might even your friend too creating a whole network of friends for your to meet :) thats how i met shelby, she was christa's friend before i met her.
anyways, im not saying friends are the only way to make up for lost time, you should do something thats worth remembering like winning an award or doing more laps in P.E than everybody else for me in my case (im in 8th grade for reference).
Oh yeah, don't forget to buy a yearbook for that year if you had a really great year and get people to sign it because it gives you something to look at to remember and for a few laughs with new friends and showing new friends some old year books is really fun.
Final advice, make your school year last as long as possible, rushing through it and not having fun might make it seem short. Nothing is more priceless than a memory from your school years and looking forward to reunion afterwards :)
just hope you are able to make up those lost times :)
2007-09-05 21:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by qwhitelighter 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
After reading this you don't sound that weird to me. In 6th grade through 8th grade I had this one friend, then when we got up to the high school both of us changed and she made other friends that I didn't like to be around. Everyone changes during school so I thing that you can change back to that nice, friendly, sweet, innocent girl and see how everyone else accepts it. Don't feel like you missed out on the best parts of your life. Make new memories. You'll be fine.
2007-09-05 21:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by brown eyed girl 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is live in the past a little bit. look through old year books, meet up with old friends, etc.
Or, you can try to get exposed to nice people or go to a school in which the people are nicer.
i wouldn't be telling you this if i hadn't been there myself. I was a really nice person until i entered middle school. i became a very quiet friendless jerk until i reviewed some of my nice day photo books. I soon realized the public school wasn't meant for me so i became home schooled.
i not saying that you should be home schooled but you should be with a nicer group of people.
2007-09-05 21:44:11 · answer #5 · answered by William B 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get involved in something bigger than yourself, and stop worrying about what people think of you. It is okay to come out your shell. Not everybody has to like everybody all the time, but eventually we all have to come to respect and love our own potential. Sounds like you are growing up, dear.
And you know what, withdrawing from people who fight and cuss in the 6th grade probably was a wise decision. Now maybe those people have grown out of their awkward stage, and you can actually stand them again. I was a totaly geek in Middle School, and now maybe I am still kind of geeky, but I have plenty of friends who think I'm fairly cool.
2007-09-11 23:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by DW2020 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think it's just a stage of life you go through. keep trying to change and be a better person & do stuff you like and try to live your life happy. because youll never know if something disastrous might happen the next day. so just try to do more of things that you enjoy & by becoming happy yourself, you'll eventually give off a good feeling to the people around you. Well, anyways that was just my opinion, but I hope that helped :)
2007-09-05 21:41:56 · answer #7 · answered by wtws? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sometime we can be our biggest enemies, we have to face the consequences of our own acts, be it nice or bad. There is just no way you can turn back to the past to remedy your mistakes.
All you can do now is move on with your life, but keep the past in your mind so that you never repeat it. So try not to be too hard on yourself, who says its easy being a teenager?!
2007-09-05 22:10:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You sound normal to me.
Other people who know you and remember your past behaviour may have been hurt by it.
It's going to take some time for some of them to accept that you have really changed - some of them, unfortunately never - Thats' Life.
It's called "Consequences."
Life is not a 'Rehearsal' - you can't go back - just keep trying to improve and move forward. We rarely ever get 'second chances in 'Real Life'.
"Life wasn't meant to be Easy."
2007-09-05 21:37:02 · answer #9 · answered by fooles.troupe 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
if you need a wake up call, try looking at some old photos, remembering who you were and was like, then look inside yourself and bring out the best of that character. the past you can be the present you, because you're obiviously fully capable of it. you can't let your surroundings control who you are. learn to stay stron gwith who you are.
2007-09-13 14:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋