I'm 13 years old, and extremely self-conscious. PLEASE help me! I'm really not fat, but sometimes I feel like I am, I don't think I'm pretty, and I sweat through just about everything from nervousness. Anybody who doesn't know me just thinks I'm shy and very boring. I really have a great personality, I'm just afraid to show it for fear that people will like me even less. I get nervous and quiet around boys and popular girls, and when I do say something, it's usually stupid. PLEASE HELP ME GET MYSELF BACK!
2007-09-05 13:38:51 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
** The best thing I ever found for getting shyness under control is public speaking! Take a speech class! Join after school groups and be proud of who you are!**
2007-09-11 12:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by Me 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the best advice for you is to turn your attention outward to the people you are talking to, not inwards to how you are feeling, whether you are nervous, or guessing whether they think you are pretty or fat or boring. Just try to pay attention to what the other person is talking about, and what they might be feeling, and see if you can find something in your experience that is relevant that you can mention, or a question to ask, or a compliment to give, or a way to agree with them, or gently challenge their view if you don't agree. Make sure that you are taking part, not just watching what is going on.
Another trick is to think about what someone you know who is more confident might do in a situation, and then try to do what they would do. People won't notice from the outside most of what you are feeling on the inside, and mostly they won't think about it very long if you did say or do something that wasn't perfect, or they would be sympathetic if they spotted you were anxious (after all, how would you feel if someone else said something silly, or looked nervous? would you think that you didn't like them any more, or would you think it was okay?)
I bet with a bit of effort it will get easier and easier and you will be able to overcome your worries step by step. Good luck with it :o)
2007-09-05 20:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by mimschat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HI! :) Don't worry about yourself. Just be you. Here are some tips to overcome Social Phobia:
1. Be out going
2. smile to other people
3. don't think up negative thoughts
4. pray to God if you're a christian
I'm 15 years old and I'm also suffering the same problem as you. For me, I just smile and talk to other people. Sometimes, the peope I talk to becomes my friend. I'll pray for you, so you won't be a shy person anymore. Also, you're not fat. Most men prefer regular women then size 0 women anyway. I know you won't be shy anymore. May God be with you.
Here's a verse from the Bible that helped me through my though times:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
2007-09-05 20:46:59 · answer #3 · answered by John 3:16 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I use to be very shy and I know how hard it is for you. I just out grew it as I got older. I think I became more comfortable in my own skin and did not feel that other people had more important things to say then I did. Just keep telling yourself that what you have to say is important and not "stupid", start slowly getting involved in conversations. You will be surprised how interested others will be in what you have to say. You be just fine as long as you remember that what you have to say is just as important as anyone else. Good luck!
2007-09-13 17:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just think of it like...if someone does something stupid in front of the class or a group of people...
yes everyone may laugh and stuff and then it's forgotten...
easier said than done but..try not to worry so much about what people think of you...
if it helps just think of other humans as...a big blob of matter and nothing else... lol
what makes that person more important than you?
what authority do they have to say "you are stupid" for example...
i used to be exactly like you, wouldn't talk or anything...
then i just stopped caring and thats when i started having fun...
2007-09-05 21:00:08 · answer #5 · answered by John G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all believe in yourself. secondly when you talk to people let them know you are sincerely interested in them and what they have to say. i was the same way. dont be so hard on yourself.
2007-09-05 20:49:24 · answer #6 · answered by Diana K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you become self-conscious, think "what would my IDEAL self do?" Do that!
2007-09-12 23:59:35 · answer #7 · answered by toots 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋