I think I'm suicidal,I just feel so alone and pathetic....?

Question

I'm in second year of college and just feel so alone and empty.I have no friends there and don't have the motivation to keep going.Having a life of only going home,going to work,school and sleeping...that's all I have.My family is poor and couldn't afford to pay for my school,so I live at home and work to pay for it myself.meeting ppl is impossible.I'm starting to wonder if I should just get in debt and live in the dorms of a different school and start fresh,but I'm 20 isn't it too late.I've joined clubs but ppl seem to think I'm something I'm not and ignore me.They all seem to think I'm a party going whore...heh I'm still a virgin,have never dated,never even kissed,and never went to highschool parties,flat chested and my only makeup is mascara.But even strangers call me a slut or a whore as they drive by(how is wearing a t-shirt with loose jeans and old runners whorish?)I just feel so lonely,so pathetic and hated...

People who have never been truly alone don't know how this feels.....should I just try to re-invent myself at a new college and live in the dorms...is 20 too late to move into dorms...and try to make friends....How can I make friends if everybody just see's me like this trash...

Answer 1

Smile, smile and smile again.

Grow your hair long

Wear a skirt

Speak to people you're in casual contact with anyway.

Keep smiling

Answer 2

Whilst I probably can't provide a definitive answer, perhaps some advice might be more useful. I know what it's like to feel suicidal, having been there myself, however the thought of losing one of my parents is such a horrible feeling - so how would they feel if they lost me? Having dedicated many years of their life raising me, the least I can do is stick around to help them when they get older - I think I owe them that much after everything I've put them through, and I'm actually looking forward to repaying them for their unconditional love.

I was a virgin until I was 25 and quite proud of it too. I wanted to wait for the right girl and it was really special for me. It also proved that I really loved her as I wasn't going to jump into bed with anyone I could and she respected that so much. It's something that you can loose only once, so only loose it with the right person in the right situation.

It's hard to ignore vicious tongues sometimes, but I'd take some comfort from the fact that you realise they are false. Some people can't see past the outside and are happy to hurt others, but they only end up corrupting their soul. Some people wear diamonds on the inside.

Maybe this helps, maybe not, but it's a good sign that you've asked the question as it's a cry for help - certainly better that being at the next step without telling anyone. I'd try to talk to someone in private, that you can trust and that can offer impartial advice. The next time you see your parents, tell them you love them - Then you'll realise that you're not alone.

Anyway, I hope things get better.

Answer 3

If you feel suicidal, please seek help from your college counselor. As I read your post, you have a lot to be thankful and proud of. So ending your life will hurt you and your family who are probably looking so forward to you graduating from college. Here's why I say you have something to be proud of;

1. You are in college and being a responsible adult by working to pay for college. Yeah, living in the dorms are cool also but once you graduate and the student loan bills start coming in then you will understand why you are making the right decision by working and paying for school (wish I was smart enough to have done that when I was younger).

2. You are in college. So many people your age are not doing anything positive with their life and probably envy you because you are trying to do something positive in your life.

3. You said you come from a poor family. Well, this will be a way that you can be a role model for the youth in your community and family. You never know, you may be a positive role model to someone and may not know it.

You are never too old to live on campus. If you want to have a social life, try going out to events that are more of your age group whenever you have a day off. Participating in an event does not always have to be something on campus. You can use the internet to find events in your town and that will be a good way to meet and mingle with other in the area.
As far as people calling you whore, do you know why? It could be they are jealous of you and this is a way of getting to you. If these people call you a whore, just pay them no attention and keep striving to continue your education. I could imagine it could be hurtful they call you names but think about it this way, you are 20 and you are beyond the childish behavior.

Answer 4

end downing your self. This negativity will entice the incorrect human beings and placed off the main suitable ones. you're no longer in opposition with your pals or every person else, surprisingly while it involves relationships. Love should not be a interest or a game. you will locate the guy for you while the time is right. yet you could no longer permit an unhappy man or woman who cruelly do and say advise issues to you have administration over existence by making you experience valueless. understand your man or woman worth.you are the guy who've administration of your emotions and your existence, others do no longer. you could no longer do something approximately human beings strikes or innovations, yet you could take care of your man or woman. purely be your self, shop up your appearances, bypass out, get a interest, be advantageous, do something significant, and experience existence. you will entice greater people who way and the main suitable one would be attracted to you.

Answer 5

I feel like you.. but I'm not suicidal. I'm turning 20 and I haven't even finshed highschool. At least you got to college. I'm lucky I have been given a second chance. I always want to give up.. and I don't have much friends.. only two girls I've known since i was little.. but I barely get to see them. There are times I want to give up... but there's nothing else for me so I HAVE to keep trying.

get a few new outfits. Don't have to get anything expensive. Forget about everyone else and just work on yourself. People call others names just for the fun of it. Just ignore them. But if you present youself better.. you might not be called such names. Don't think suicidal hon. Life is about creating yourself and succeeding. Not worrying about what others think.

good luck! stay in school! show them punks :) you'll make friends sooner or later.

Answer 6

U should be proud of yourself *****. Be In Total Control of Herself. Not too many girl at your age still a virgin and why bother what ppl think. Be yourselves and hang on there a little bit finish what you're doing. Keep in mind, after a few years, you 'll get a better Job because you finish your college with a more than decent income that will eventually get you out of the hell hole you think you're in at the moment and end the cycle of poverty. If you're my daughter, I would give you a huge and proud of you. I bet your parent is, may be just express in a different way. I know lonely feeling is horrible especially try to fit in the crown. Just try to educate yourselves, those are time wasting, senseless fun for kids who still live in la la land cause parent could afford it, then suffer in later life unless they are rich. In your case, bitter fist then sweet come later after you got succeeded stand out on your feet alone. You could have all the fun you wanted and ppl will look at you in different way with admiration attitude.

Trust me, been there myself.

Answer 7

Don't worry. This is just a phase that is quite normal. Realize at 20 yrs old you are so young yet. These feelings that you have will soon pass and just be a distant memory. Its all part of growing up. Hope you feel better soon!

Answer 8

maybe fresh start would help and meet new people and be on it. if you are going to college you have to stay focused and there is plenty of time to find gf when you are graduated and be more time and fun. i think you are ok but if you feel very sad and stuff still then go see doctor and get help soemtimes we all need abit of meds to get by and it maybe something to helpyou up.

Answer 9

dont worry, this is just a phase, will pass by. try to re-do yourself. when u meet new people have a smile on your face/ be cheerful. everyone has problems in life, you have to be a person who can (if not make people laugh) atleast give them a chance to forget their problems and not make them feel loaded with you/ your problems. that way you will c that in no time people will start to njoy ur company. forget those people who call you names ......... they dont have n e thing better to do in life ......... cheerup!!!!!!!!!