I've had the most horrible experience being in foster care. I've been from group home to hospital over and over again. When I turned 15 they started putting me in foster homes... most of which were dirty. There was roaches in one and I had to share one bedroom with four other girls.
I started running away and instead of the system realizing they're putting me in terrible places, they told me I was "troubled" and "uncontrolable".
I turned 18 in April, and now I'm pregnant. This wonderful foster care system that they still wont let me leave is sending me to ANOTHER bad place for "pregnant teenagers." I just dont know what to do. It's in a bad area, and I dont want to be there... but everyone thinks I just dont know whats best.
How do I get it across to my social worker and judge that I don't want to live in these crappy sh*tholes they're putting me in and I deserve to be treated with respect?
I dont care what anyone says... the foster care system in CA hides a lot of the bad things.
2007-09-05 12:31:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
In california they try to keep you until you're 21. So, Im still a ward of the court, and if I want to no longer be considered a child, I need to "emancipate" myself.
However, this doesnt work unless they approve it, which they havent. =(
2007-09-05 12:41:48 · update #1
The California Social Services, CPS, and Foster Care System are completely and utterly f*cked up. I was a foster child as well. My siblings and I were taken from our home during the 80's (during the child abuse witch hunt of the McMartin trial period) because of abuse, but in truth I was never abused until I was in the care of foster parents. I was drugged constantly for years so that I was practically a zombie so that I would stop crying and wanting to go home. One of my former foster parents was sent to jail for criminal neglect contributing to the death of a foster child. There are so many injustices and inexcusable abuses inflicted by the services meant to protect children.
The abuse, neglect, blind-eyes, and cover-ups are rampant. It saddens me and I'm so sad to hear about your plight -- I really am. I know it's a horrible situation to which I am empathetic. All I can suggest is to get the word to people in positions from which they might be able to help you. The foster care system puts all its effort into making you invisible. Write a letter to a news reporter. Write to your congressman or local assemblyman. Document your journey. Look online for children's avocacy groups or children's rights groups. There are so few options, I know. I know it's better to run away and try to get out of state, but unfortunately you are pregnant now and this is what you need to deal with first.
2007-09-07 22:21:37 · answer #1 · answered by RIck T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya know your'e very vulnerable right now because your carrying a child. This is definitely not the time to try and immancipate yourself. This pregnancy center for teens sounds like a good choice, for now. You'll be with other girls in the same condition, sharing and helping one another. And you'll get your prenatal care and food! Believe me, pregnant ladies get hungry!!!!!! And you'll have a roof over your head. Not a bad deal! It may not be the Hilton, but sometimes a Motel 6 is all you need....for now. In the home, I believe you'll have more control over your life than in a regular family foster care home. And as far as the bad conditions, you do have a voice..thru the computer and with letters and phone calls. You could very well save another human being from the pain you endured. And a baby is always a blessing. Give yours and yourself the best of starts, ok? Hugs to you sweetie!
2007-09-05 15:23:57 · answer #2 · answered by zen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FREAKING RIGHT!!! I was in foster care for 3 years, got pregnant and ran away a million times. I hated it, i am not recommending you keep running away like i did but your 18? they should of given you something called "independent living" where they put you in your own place to give you a chance to get on your own two feet. Foster care everywhere just sucks they don't know how us kids feel and we're always the crazy ones right?? I am turning 18 in 2 weeks and one day i got tired of it and planned to run away again and get married and i am pregnant again too. Although it was a bad idea I am pretty happy now (just sharing my experience) but please talk to them about independent living and because you're 18 you should have more freedom and choices!!!! Now because your in CA the laws may be different. And of course you deserve respect ; keep pushing the issue ; you need to be able to make your own choices. But dont do anything drastic its not worth you being put away like i was.
2007-09-05 12:40:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought once you turned 18 you were released from foster care? of course, I don't know if that is true for all states. I would check into it if I were you though. At 18 years old, you are considered an adult and should be treated like one. You shouldn't have to stay there any longer. I would seek the help of a lawyer if your not getting through to your social worker. That just doesn't seem right to me. Good Luck with your situation and your baby!! :-)
2007-09-05 12:36:01 · answer #4 · answered by I LOVE BEING A MOMMY 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely what you're going thru. I was in foster care from the age 4 to 17 when I was emancipated. At age 14, they decided to put me in a facility for troubled teens when I did nothing but get my period, I never had sex or used drugs.. I was just a bit moody. They had diagnosed me with bullshit illnesses and put me on medication for most of my time in there. I was so miserable I winded up runnning away everytime they put me in a new placement. I was a good kid that made good grades and I winded up dropping out to support myself when I was emancipated. I later fell into substance abuse, and overdosing several times. It got so bad for me in care, I remember when I was 16 I had saved about 35 pills and took them without telling anyone. It was a nightmare that effected me even years later after I got out. It's been almost 6 years since I last ranaway and demanded to be emanicipated. I'm now drug and alcohol free, married and expecting my first child. I'm living a pretty normal life and I couldn't be happier. If you would like to know more what I would do in your situation you can email me.
2007-09-05 12:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by ******* 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stay where you are if you only have 6 months to go, you really don't want to end up in the system, it could be very bad
2016-04-03 05:28:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, you poor thing well kudos to you for staying strong, and being the survivor, instead of the victim...if you are 18 how can they legally keep you anywhere??? your of age, and in being so should be able to come and go as you please.... Make a plan to get a job, show the courts and the social worker, you have plans, and being in this nightmare of a legal system is not it!!!!Hang in there you sound like one tough cookie!!!!!!!
2007-09-05 12:40:09 · answer #7 · answered by blue4duke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this isn't right - i would talk to them and do what it takes to get them to understand or find somewhere else to go - you're a full legal adult at 18 and shouldn't be told that you have to wait until you're 21 to not be a ward of the state anymore. do what's best for you and your baby and GET OUT! do some research first and plan ahead. know that there are guardian angels looking at you from above to make sure that you're ok....god, i wish the best for you dear!
2007-09-05 14:14:58 · answer #8 · answered by amyhwoods 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With you being 18 years old they don't have the right to keep you there.I suggest you find out your rights in your state.IYou are of legal age to leave the foster care system.
2007-09-05 12:44:02 · answer #9 · answered by flavagirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after you turn 18 you are now and adult and no longer have to live in the foster homes!!
2007-09-05 12:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by Ebeezyy ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋