How can i sweetly tell my husband that I don't think his mother is a saint.?

Question

The truth is, his mother is a manipulating, ridiculing, abusive, spawn of the devil. And he thinks she is God's gift to anything- she's always right, and nobody is ever right who opposes her. I believe she's tried to break up our marriage (luckily we moved two states away before she succeeded) But now that i'm in my 8th month of pregnancy, he's going to pay gas money for her and her daughter to come up here when I deliever the baby. When i asked, he said he was thinking of bringing her up around my due date!! OUr house is tiny! And she eats like a horse. She ridicules my house-cleaning and cooking. She is the type to literally take the baby away from me, and I know it. How can i tell my husband that I want at least a week with the new baby before either of our parents decide to sleep in our livingroom?! HELP!!!!!

Answer 1

You need to have a serious talk with your "mama's boy" hubby. He needs to understand that in your house his mother is a guest and that only. She has no right to "take your baby" soon after it's born. That's your time to bond with it and though she can hold it from time to time while (if) she's there that is all. If she'd do that to my wife (if I were married and expecting) she'd draw back a nub!! I think her and my mother are sisters haha. If he decides to bring her make sure he understands the rules to and put your foot down. Don't mince words make him understand that in your house you're the boss. Good luck

Answer 2

I think you should just be upfront with your husband. It seems like his mother does or says things to you when he's not around. If this is so, I suggest you start speaking up or else it will just get worse. If he loves you enough, he should always and I mean always on your side no matter what. Let him know as much as you appreciate the help from his mom, you would really like to have bonding with your future baby for a while before anyone comes into your house.

Answer 3

First if you even think she will take YOUR baby away form you while your holding her then you need to stop her right then and their and ask her what are you doing I'm holding her right now if she doesn't ask then you need to stop her and tell her that is not allowed and that if she can not deal with the fact that your the mom not her then she needs to leave and go to a hotel or go back home don't let her push you around and you need to talk to your husband don't let her walk all over him also. I wish you the best of luck I have a mother in law similar maybe not that bad but she may be the runner up good luck with the baby and the in-laws

Answer 4

Tell him that marriage is about communication and you would appreciate it, if he comes to you first with his ideas so you both can discuss the matter. I would be telling him that ALL new mums need a couple of weeks to settle into routine with a new born baby and would appreciate it if he could leave it go until then. I think its about time you started to stand up to her re your house cleaning and cooking and offer her to clean it or cook if she doesn't like it. Alot of mother-in-laws are like this and some of them are just outright jealous because you may have a better lifestyle than what they had when they were your age. Learn to smile on the inside and have the last laugh.

Answer 5

It's important that you told me that you are in your 8th month of pregnancy. Because you are raging in hormones right now, but I'm not in any way saying that it is impairing at all with your brutal assessment of your Mother-in-Law.

I would suggest that you wait until AFTER the birth to tell your husband about your feelings about his Mother. I would suggest you use an old saying and keep your enemies close. I say let them come down, stay and help. If she bitches about how the house is kept, tell her to go ahead and do it, if she can do better. Challenge her a couple of times and she will respect you more. You just need to concentrate on having your child right now. If they are there to help, then USE them, lean on them, use your pregnancy as a crutch on them. Act it up and act helpless, if your husband is any kind of man, he will protect his woman and their unborn child if his Mother starts ragging you.

I pray to GOD that you didn't marry a Momma's boy. Because if you did, she will be the end of your relationship eventually. My Mother-in-Law took 15 years to finally tear my marriage apart. But that's a different story.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Don't lie. Be honest, but not mean. And don't make your husband choose between his mother and his wife and child. Just be honest and tell him that you have some issues with your mother and that you don't want her around immediately after the baby is born. But you need to also have a plan how she can be a part of your family without driving you crazy. ut talk to your husband about it.

Answer 7

Tell her she is in "your house: and when it comes to the baby she can follow your rules. You don't have to let her run the show. You need to take some of the authority that you have and use it wisely. You don't have to be mean to her, just learn to say "No, that;s not going to work for me, I want to do it this way, and I am the Mother of my child"

Answer 8

Just tell him the truth. It is your house too, you have a right to say who comes and stays and if you feel like it is going to be to stressful for you tell him no. Having a baby is one of the most happiest times in your life don't let her spoil it for you. She sounds like Marie on " Everybody Loves Raymond". Just tell him that you don't want to share the baby yet.

Answer 9

you just tell him. period. at the risk of sounding childish, this is your home and your baby as well. if you don't say something, he may think you're fine with all of this. speak up woman! save yourself a lot of frustration.he may get p*ssed off, and no doubt so will his mom, but is that any worse than having them in your house with a new babe that you'd like to get to know w/o any interference? oh, and don't use that i week time limit either. they may hold you to it.
congrats on the baby. hope all goes well.

Answer 10

LIE! tell him you read in a book that is best for the frist few weeks for the baby to bond with his/her new parents. For all of you to get to know each other, a "bonding" period post-pardum. Actually, it is true, it is in books, but it's only a lie because you haven't read it...if asked what book, say WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN EXPECTING....you can't go wrong.