i miscarried and...i am really LOST. =/?

Question

last week (tuesday-28th) i found out at my 12w u/s that my baby had lost its heartbeat--i previously saw it at 9w. so you could say i was surprised, and saddened. they ended up telling me that my baby stopped growing at 10w, i was devistated to say the least. i started misoprostol pills the next day to induce M/C at home, but things went really horrible. i ended up losing Way to much blood and passed out at home from the severe pain and blood loss...at the ER they did and emer. D&C and gave me fluids and blood, then sent me home with antibiotics and pain meds. i have been following Everything they told me, no sex, no tampons, or bathes etc. my bleeding has subsided for the most part, but NOW one week exactly after the D&C i am getting very Yellow discharge (no fever) and cramps again. i am Worried. i have a Follow up this coming Fri, where hopefully things will be worked out.

my Q is wht should i do about the Ick? and HOW do i start to feel better abt this M/C emotionally!?

Answer 1

Yellow ick is not at all a good sign. Call the dr. now.

Your entire story is mine, except my baby was 12 weeks and I found out at 17 weeks. I remained in hysteria for quite some time after that. It truly was the most agonizing event of my life. My husband kept bringing me our toddler, because he'd make me feel better, and packed us all up for a 2-day trip. It helped to think about something other than the miscarriage, but the hurt was so deep it hasn't healed completely even now. That was 15 years ago, and I cried about him today.

Something that I've heard helps is to have another baby (I know you wanted THIS baby, but it cannot be). My empty arms were so painful. My husband declined letting us conceive again, so I didn't get that solace. I committed his soul to the Father, named him Jonathan Ryan. Jonathan means little gift, and even though he was lost, the weeks he spent with us were indeed a gift.

Take care of yourself, get plenty of rest. It'll be a while before you can replenish your blood supply. And if you feel you're not recovering emotionally as you should, don't hesitate to see a psychiatrist. Don't let yourself get so worked up and morose that depression takes over and you end up being suicidal.

And, by the way, never say, "I lost the baby." That makes it sounds like it was your fault or your choice. It was against your will. You need to say, "the baby died." What happened? "no one knows." Change subject.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Every innocent little life is most precious.

debbie

Answer 2

I too lost a much wanted and much loved baby. I was almost 14 weeks along. For some reason my body never went through the actual miscarriage and so I had to have to D&C. I don't know what to tell you about the ICK because mine went fine, just call your doctor and make sure that is normal. I can tell you about the emotional part of it. At least what I went through.
There is really nothing that can make you feel better about a M/C. You will never feel better and you will never get over it. You just learn to deal with it. It is an awful experience for a woman. The only thing that will make it better is TIME. It has been 4 years ago for me and I still think about the baby that I lost all the time. There will always be some part of you that hurts. The pain doesn't ever go away, but it does get easier to deal with. People (well-meaning) used to tell me to just try again soon. I used to hate this suggestion, I don't want another baby, I want the one I lost that was growing inside me for months, the one that was a part of me and that I couldn't wait to hold in my arms. A baby is not a dog, you just can't have another one and the pain will go away.
I also got upset with my husband, he seemed to get over it so fast and would encourage me to do the same. I think men deal with it different, do not let your man upset you. No matter how much you love your man, sometimes you just need to be alone to grieve.
Allow yourself to grieve for as long as you can afford to, assuming you are working. Sit in a chair and cry your heart out. You will feel better. If I had to do anything different I would have spent less time around people. In our day of using abortions as birth control and people who have children they really don't want, I came across too many people at work who could not understand why I was feeling so upset over a baby who was never even born.
I hope that this helps you a little bit, you will get through it and you will move on. I wish you luck.
BIG HUG!!

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, but only time will make the pain subside. Losing a child isn't easy and I know what you're feeling. You will never forget, but you will get to a point when you feel better about the situation. There will be some days that you will still think about your loss, but you will be okay as soon as you get back on your feet. There's usually some type of complication when you have surgery, so try not to worry. Worrying can be making you feel worse without you knowing. As far as the yellow discharge, I would check with my doctor about that as soon as possible, that be a sign of something else.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for your lost. I never experienced this but I always say I couldn't make it through this but my mother in law says you can. I do beleive everything happens for a reason. Maybe there was something really wrong with your baby and it was gods way of saving your baby. We never know but I am sure everthing will be ok and you will work out. Try again as soon as you can that is probally the best way to get past it. As for the problems. The yellowness could be infection. So defently get checked out. I hope everything goes alright. I will pray for you and that you will continue to have healthy babies. Again I am really sorry!

Answer 5

I am so sorry for your loss. Leave the Ick along until your next Dr. visit if you can, and if not go into the Dr's office sooner. But most of all put your self in God's hands and he will get you through this. Every thing happens for a reason, so stay strong. God loves you

Answer 6

once you flow in Monday they are going to probable have the potential to take heed to the toddler's heart beat because of the fact it starts off at around 10 weeks. they are going to use a dopplar gadget or do an inner ultrasound to degree the toddler and get a reliable decision of ways a procedures alongside you're. The Dr. can tell if the toddler is now not alive, that's what got here approximately on your buddy, and that they are going to wait to be sure if the physique for sure flushes it out. that's fairly unhappy yet do not enable that deliver you down!! while you're healthful, and take reliable care of your self for the period of your being pregnant you decrease your probabilities of miscarriage and carry your probabilities of a reliable hard paintings and transport with a healthful toddler. whilst i replaced into pregnant I fearful approximately miscarriage yet found out the hardship did not do any reliable. savor your being pregnant, the 9 months would be over till now you already are conscious of it!! reliable success!!

Answer 7

Just make a quick call to your doctor and that should help you feel better about the discharge. As for the M/C only time will help you to move on. I would recommend doing a search for a grief group or counselor that can help you deal with your emotions on this. I wish you the best of luck with your healing.

Answer 8

im sorry hon. Maybe hospitalization treatment or a counselor to deal with all the stress? Its hard. Online support groups for moms going thru same? Cafemom.com is a good website. Best wishes to you in your near future and I'm here if you need to talk.

Michelle

Answer 9

well i would definately talk to a doc about the "Ick".

and i am very sorry to hear abot the m/c. you may never emotionally heal from the loss. you lost a baby. a part of you. and again i am soo very sorry to hear of your loss.

Answer 10

I'm sorry for your loss. Why don't you try an online support group for other women who have experienced situations similar to yours. Best of luck to you.