Funny Voicemails?

Question

Can Someone please link me to a website where i can find a list of funny voicemail greetings i can put on my phone?

Or if you have something funny please type it

Answer 1

Hello, I'm currently being robbed right now, please leave a message and I'll get back to you after he leaves.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Are you their? I'm somewhere else, please leave a message and I'll get back to you.

Hello, 4x4 trucks are currently crushing my cars and tearing up my lawn. Let me deal with them and I'll get right back to you.

Answer 2

i'm sure u've heard about these but anyways here they are

1)Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with 1 of these magnets

2) A is for academics, B is for beer. 1 of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message and I’ll get back to you

3)Hi. This is john. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money

4) Hi. Now you say something

5) Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep

6) Hello. I am David’s answering machine. What are you?

7) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages

8) This is not an answering machine-this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone think about your name, your reason for calling and number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call

9) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need their wall painted, windows washed, or their carpets steamed cleaned. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you

10) Hi. I am probably home; I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave a message, and if I don’t call back, its you

11) If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and its safe to leave us a message

12) Hi, this is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back

13) Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us

14) Sorry you have wasted your time and money as we are not currently home. If you would like to waste more of your time and money by all means try us again later.

15) "Telephone Tag" (in a lively voice) It's telephone tag time again.You leave a message on this machine, then you get a return call on your machine, then you return that call on this machine, and get a return message on your machine, and right now , your it.

16) (Hearing Impaired) Hello, in keeping with F.C.C.guidelines, the following answering message is provided for the hearing impaired. (SHOUT) LEAVE YOUR MESSAGE AT THE BEEP. Thank you.

17) This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.

18) Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

19) Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

20) "Roses are red, and boogers are green. Please leave your message on this stupid machine!"

21) Hi you've reached ( ). I'm either out and can't talk to you, home but don't want to talk to you or home, desperately want to talk to you but am trapped under something heavy. Leave a message.

ummm that's it but i personally called some1 and his msg was so funny but not so appropriate it was like: U know what to do eh? then f*cking do it...i really like this one but .....