Do I have a right to feel this way?

Question

I'm 22 and been with this guy for almost 4 years. i've moved from a state I loved because he wanted to be closer to HIS family when he got out of the military. I was 3 months pregnant with our daughter when we moved, he wouldnt get a job becasue he said he deserved time off and he didnt want me to get a job either incase we moved. Eventually he couldnt care for me physically or emotionaly so i drove 12hrs to my family 5 months pregnant. He didnt come after me, he missed the birth and when she was 6 months he finally got an apt, and a decent job so I moved back to the state I hate to try to make this family work. We've been through A LOT and still made it through. Is it wrong of me to say either marry me in the next year or let me go?!? We both want more kids but I feel I deserve to have the same lastname as my children, and I feel I deserve to be his wife. I just never seen my life this way. i'm pretty, smart, college grad, great mommy and I always find myself putting up with B.S.

Answer 1

first of all - and perhaps most importantly - you have a RIGHT to your feelings, whatever they are!

I'm sorry your young marriage and family isn't coming together the way you wanted it to. This is based on a hunch only - I think you're on target about the marrying now thing. Sometimes I think women are better off on their own, than in a lukewarm relationship, but in your case, I have a feeling that you two could make it as soon as he becomes aware that he has a wife as well as a child of his own.
Good luck to you.

Answer 2

He sounds like a loser.

Get out now while you can. There's no way you should even consider marrying this guy. He's not proven anything to you.

There are too many really good guys who will appreciate all you have to offer for you to stay with this slacker. It seems you're the only one trying to make the relationship work. That's not likely to change anytime soon.

Move away- forget this guy, and start over. Luckily, you didn't wait 20 years to come to this point.

Don't marry him, or I'll have to answer this question from you again in 20 years.

Answer 3

You sure have a right to the way you are feeling. I don't think marrying him after all you have put up with will help. The way it sounds he wants things just his way. Best thing to do is get away from this guy, take him to court to pay for child support and move on with your life. I think you are just putting up with his B.S. You don't need to be his wife because he make your life worse. And trust me, you might want more kids, but you shouldn't have them with him.

Answer 4

Are you sure you WANT to be married to such a selfish man? Yes, maybe he went through a lot-in the military, but he's had time to get over it-or get help. If he's done neither, I don't see how you'd want to inflict such a father on your future children.

If you really think he's improved-and, it's not just your happness you're talking about, it involves one child, at least-I guess you could tell him how you feel. But, think first-and think hard!

Answer 5

Girl u are 22 and as u say your smart and have stuff going for yourself why settle for less why can't u be happy go for what u want u gave this man a child he should wanna marry u that would be beautiful i say do what u have to do to make him understand u not playing!!!!! good luck girl!!!!

Answer 6

You have a right to feel however you feel. Your boyfriend is a jerk who needs to take responsiblity for the family he decided to create with you. You most certainly dserve to be Mrs. Not a Jerk Anymore, But Now a Grown-Up.

Answer 7

Ashleylynn, Sweety you deserve the world ! You have every right !