In your opinion, how important is rushing into a wedding because of an unplanned pregnancy?

Question

I've been engaged for several months, and we were planning on getting married next June, but I found out a few weeks ago that I'm pregnant. We're both really excited about it, as are our families. Sure, our families would rather us be married before having kids, but they are happy for us. We've been living together for a little over 6 months, both have nice jobs, are renting a nice house, and have been financially independent from our families for a long while. We were planning on paying for our wedding ourselves, so it's not like mommy and daddy or the government are going to be taking care of us, or our child. We were thinking about pushing the wedding back another year, my due date is mid April, that's about a 1 1/2 months before our wedding, things would be little rushed. Some people have been telling me how important it is that we are married before having a child, but should we rush into a wedding just so we don't have an illegitimate child?

Answer 1

I think you really should have thought about that before trying to get pregnant.

Obviously you don't care what others think, so just keep doing what you are doing.....

Answer 2

Well first of all I want to say, congratulations. On both accounts. Are you wanting to wait to tell other family/ friends about the pregnancy? If you are then I suggest that it is okay to drink the champagne (or wine) that is for the wedding toast. Other than that, I advise against drinking anything alcoholic. It is actually more important in the "baby's" development to refrain from alcohol early since this is the time most of the organs & such are forming. Sorry about not being able to drink during your honeymoon. I was pregnant when I turned 21, so I never got to experience that "rite of passage" but I had an adorable healthy little girl just 2 months later. Have a great wedding & an even better honeymoon & get a lot of sleep when you get back cuz in 8-9 months your gonna be r-e-a-l tired from that baby growing inside of u! Again congratulations.

Answer 3

Don't worry about what is socially acceptable. If you, him & both of your families are ok with waiting on getting married then do it. It would be very difficult to buy a wedding dress because you wouldn't know what size to get or how it would fit after having a baby recently. Plus there is a the rule no sex for 6 weeks after delivery that would make it pretty difficult to go on a honeymoon *if* the doctor had no cleared you yet.

I sugguest waiting on you are all ready for it.

Answer 4

Your child is a blessing. Some day he or she will do the math and realize. But, I figure you'll be straight with your kid about sexual matters anyway so I say do what you feel is best. It sounds like your family is behind you. As for the people who are giving you grief, why are they concerned? By waiting, you will always know your child's birth is not why you got married. Your child will too.

Answer 5

Even if you WERE married, on babies birth certificate you would be named by your MAIDEN name anyway so as long as Dad's name is on the birth certificate (and yes, married or not, you can put HIS NAME on the birth certificate) and baby has Dad's last name, push the date back.....I mean seriously, its not like you are saving your virginity and don't want anyone to know you are pregnant, right? So do what works best for you guys!

Congratulations! Babies are a blessing seldom planned- married or not!

Answer 6

You've asked this question before so it "seems" like you are wanting people to answer the way YOU WANT. I think that you've already decided that you want to have your cake and eat it,too. You want the big hoopla wedding. You want the white gown and all the extras. You want. you want. you want. the fact still remains. You're pregnant. you will soon be a family. Your life has changed and your plans have to be changed to accomodate the sweet innocent that you are bringing into this world. GROW UP befoire the child arrives, for heavans sakes. Have a small ceremony, small reception, and get on with your new life as a mom - not a princess.

Answer 7

I would say that you should stick to your original wedding date. There is no rush in moving up the date. Nobody is going to care whether the baby is born first. It's not that important that you guys be married first. There are no advantages of being married first before the baby arrives. Stick to the later date.

Answer 8

You know, in these days and age, what is an illegitimate child???
What matters is that this child is wanted and loved by both parents; That both parents, married or otherwise, take their duty as parents very seriously.
The best your child can dream of is to grow up in a loving environment, that of his parents preferably

Answer 9

A big thing is heath insurance. If you need to have your prenatal care and delivery covered by your fiance's insurance, you may need to be married or at least registered as a domestic partnership.

Personally, I preferred to get married before we had kids. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. Anyway, it wasn't fancy - we eloped, got married on the Winter Solstice at sunset, on Lover's Point. Just us and the minister. We liked that just fine!

Answer 10

First of all I don't beleive in "unplanned" or "surprise" or "unexpected" or "accidental" pregnancies. Sex causes pregnancy, when one CHOOSES to have sex they CHOOSE to be responsible for ALL of the consequences that come with having sex and one of those consquences is pregnancy. You didn't wait until you were married to have sex...why are you now thinking of getting married before you give birth? It makes no sense.

Answer 11

So long as it doesn't bother you that your child will one day see his birth certificate and see that mommy's name isn't the same as daddy's. Whats up with that? Just be prepared for it...some people it won't bother, other will be livid...just depends on how religious you raise your child to be.