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Ok I was at home and just decided to look through my husbands phone history (he has done stuff before) well I saw some 866 numbers. Then since we have internet on our phones I looked at his web history. He had a yahoo search for phone sex and several porn sites. Its my personal belief that porn is cheating. Well i confrunted him and he said that it was all pop-ups. Ok whatever our phones dont get pop-ups like computers. Later that day we went to a lake. I ignored him the whole time we were there. After we got back I took his phone and tried to confrunt him again for the truth. Both the phone history and web history were deleted. He claims he didnt do it and has no idea how it happened. The he said "when could i have done it you were with me all day today" So now I have no evidence to confrunt him with and he keeps saying he has no idea what im talking about and that he never got onto porn sites. Then we argued and he said "I'll admit to it even though i didnt do it to make you drop it"

2007-09-05 09:43:47 · 30 answers · asked by Worried wife 3 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

30 answers

A married woman has every right to know what is going on in her world and every right to investigate to make sure that her husband is being right to her. After all look at what you found before your husband had the chance to step out of line with you because cheating always starts in the mind. When your commited and married you are one and nothing should be hidden from either one of you. The old saying is behind every good man lies a good woman so if you had a gut feeling to snoop you had every right to do so.If your husband knows that you are against porn or anything that has to do with other women other than you he is disrespecting you and you have the right to fight for what you believe in and tell him to stop and make the relationship right between the two of you. Porn is gutter garbage and does not depict the true intimacy between a husband and wife and people that see and derive pleasure from it just have no morals or class. I don't know how it was deleted but you can bet that he done it somehow and I would ask him what his problem is and if it were me I would think that the computer would be taken out of my house since he has no contol and obsessed with it and thats the bottom line.

2007-09-05 11:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He's lying! When you ignored him the day you went to the lake, you weren't monitoring his every move, correct? I'm sure he found time when you werent looking to quickly delete everything, it's not hard to do. Dont let him think you're naive ... just because you were with him all day doesnt mean you were right there with him monitoring his every move! As far as I can tell, there are no pop ups on cell phones either! He's just looking for any excuse he can to not get caught and is probably gonna try and turn the tables so that he can find a reason to be angry with you ... so Im thinking now that he knows you are aware of this, he will delete it every time he goes online ~ you should ask him why he feels the need to go on those porn sites, looking at other women when he has his woman at home with him? But then again, it's in their nature to do this sort of thing ~ it sucks but it's not cheating ~

2007-09-05 10:01:04 · answer #2 · answered by vmv73too 1 · 0 1

So why don' t you drop it? You sound like some kind of lawyer preparing for the divorce with your talk of proof and evidence. He might have looked at some porn and called on an Adult line. that in and of itself is not really a big deal. Most men enjoy some sort of porn and it has nothing to do with their marriage, in some cases it can even help. You are making a federal case of this relatively small infraction and if you don't watch it you will sow the seeds of your own destruction. Do you want proof that you were right so yo can nail him to the wall and have proof to hold over his head for ever and ever amen....Or do you want to try and go on and put this in perspective and go on with your life? You reaction is far worse and more detrimental to you marriage than anything your poor husband could have seen on a porn sight. You can think what you like but looking at porn is not cheating, you cannot penalize someone for looking and if you do stop him looking, you cannot stop his thoughts so stop playing Gestapo-wife and get off the guy's back already.

2007-09-05 09:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 2 0

1. Porn is not cheating. It is fantasy.
2. Talk to him about the need for porn and phone sex. Don't just start nagging on him.
3. Find out if there is a problem. If there is, talk about a solution. If no solution is to be found, then go to counseling.
4. He may be a sex addict.
5. It seems like you aren't over the past trust issues you've had. I think you need to both go to counseling if you are going to make this work.

2007-09-05 10:08:58 · answer #4 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 1 0

OMG! I am sooooooooooooo going through that too. I was told it was ALL pop ups too! In fact on our computer there were like 40 FULL on movies downloaded that he SWEARS viruses brought it. But I have since discovered that PORN brings the viruses. Viruses DON'T bring porn. And pop up's only come from THOSE sites. So he is LYING just like my b/f is. I am still amazed that my b/f still thinks I believe his crap! My situation was a bit different because it seemed everywhere I looked porn was poping up. Not just on the computer. But believe me when I say that he is lying. Get key logger!!!!! I am installing it tonight on my computer because I am SICK of being lied to. And when I leave I want to be able to make him see I KNOW he is a big FAT LIAR. No more of this VIRUSES brought it in crap!
Much luck to you. If you are serious and want keylogger on your computer just find out which product works for you. I know of a few I can send you links to.
take care

2007-09-05 10:19:21 · answer #5 · answered by dazednconfused 2 · 0 1

Is it a lie - yeah, probably. Did he want to admit it and make you more mad at him than you already were - probably not.

If you want to know the numbers called from his cell phone, look at his cell phone bill - everything is there in black and white. If you have your cell phone account online, you can look at it there.

Apparently there are some issues that you two are not going to get cleared up on your own without someone getting upset. Perhaps you should make and appointment with a counselor and try to get things out in the open before they become major obstacles in your marriage.

2007-09-05 10:02:36 · answer #6 · answered by Somethingtotry 6 · 0 0

First of he is a big ol LIAR!! thats just obvious but there isnt really anything you can do about it. ALL guys look at that stuff i had a problem with my hubby looking at stuff like that too but i just realized all guys do it. it really isnt a big deal i would rather him just look at stuff like that then actually go and cheat on me..guys have been masterbating since they were like 11 or 12 so that is normal and guys are more visual..however the phone sex...def not okay and im sure you will get a phone bill and it will have it on that so you can confront him about that..that is a big NO but it sounds like he may have a problem and he needs help if he is looking at that stuff all the time and it takes up his time..my hubby admits he watches it yours is in denial which means he doesnt think it is right either

2007-09-05 09:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany R 2 · 2 1

He may be lying to you........ but I would suggest that your attitude is too confrontational to get to the truth.

If you are attacking him... what else is he going to do? He's going to instantly go on the offensive, right? Isn't that what we all do?

I would suggest that you TALK to him like he's an adult. Tell him how you feel regarding him checking out porn sites. Ask him if he is not getting what he needs from you... and ask him how you can be a better wife. Before you get butt hurt about my answer.... think about it first.

Women have all the power in a relationship... if they are smart. Unless you married a total psycho, he is a man who wants a happy home... a loving wife. A man will walk through fire for a woman that he loves... but he's gotta FEEL that she loves him too, you know?

2007-09-05 09:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 1 1

Ok, you know, porn is porn. Cheating is cheating. But porn is not cheating. Phone sex is cheating. Its one thing for him to look at pictures. Its another to engage a girl over the phone and solicit her for phone sex. It also sounds to me that this might have become an addiction if he has all kinds of phone sex numbers on his phone. Maybe instead of accusing him, you should go to him and tell him how unloved and unwanted it makes you feel that he is going elsewhere for gratification. Maybe you two should go to therapy too.

2007-09-05 09:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

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2016-10-10 00:40:22 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

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