Do you believe that most people need closure in all aspects of life?

Question

I dislike leaving things open...would rather settle amicably to enable me to move on peacefully. This holds true not only in cases of death, divorce, or the end of a serious relationship, but with everyone with whom we come into contact. Comments?

Timaeus: Ego and lack of are two different things--as are ego vs. feelings. :)

lana s: I feel your heartbreak...I, too, had a loved-one commit suicide.

thelairdjim: I have moved on from terrible times...things were so bad I needed to block some of them from my mind. It seems, lately, that the small things bother me (ironic, as I always tell everyone "Don't sweat the small stuff.") Go figure...

Hi Mix! Congratulations!

guru: heavy...Deep Thoughts :)

Hi again Timaeus: You're fired!!!

Answer 1

Yes we all need closure for things that helps make us move forward in life.

Answer 2

I think need may be too strong a word. I think practically everybody would prefer closure to having things hanging over them for years or decades, but if it can't be they just have to adapt. If it were truly necessary then folks would spend a lot more time making sure they got it, and would keep beating their heads against the wall when it just wasn't possible. And in all too many cases you just have either have to make peace with unfinished business & unresolved emotions/situations or let it ruin your life. I personally have quite a few things looming in my past that could still reach out and bite me or potentially destroy everything, but I no longer wake up with my stomach in knots or feel sick whenever I'm reminded of some bad memory. While I would like it to be all wrapped up an no loose ends it simply can't be.

So I learned to live with it, even be grateful for some of the more egregious failures because after all I learned an awful lot because of them. It sucks, but that's the way it is IMO.

Answer 3

Finishing is something that we need only because we choose to hang on to the past. Let it go. It cannot be changed -- at least not at this stage in our development. Let it go and move on.

The pattern, as well, can be studied from an Eastern perspective. Anything we like (closure) will be that which we gravitate towards. When opportunities (for happiness) pass you by, remember it was you who liked spending time and energy seeking closure.

Answer 4

Me personally I need closure to move on. Here is how I think of it. Have you ever heard of people who say, "Just shut the door to the room and move on" Me, I feel that , it means , no matter what, just go. I have always felt that before I can close that door to that room, I have to clean it first. To me, that's closure, now I can move on. I'm a recovering alcoholic, I've been sober since April 18Th, 2004. I needed to face all my demons before I could be sober. I needed closure. So I could not only come at peace, but also become stronger with facing all my demons at the time. I also know that others look up to me, and they may face that road. They may go to that room of the door I closed. If I have to go back to help, I will know that I didn't go back to a messy room. Instead, I can face what is ahead of me. Not only cause its a clean room to me, but because I have trained my self to do so. I may not win all battles, but I definitely know I will not fail them, cause I will not give up. If I must, I will die trying.

Answer 5

I believe that true closure happens when one is no longer the servant of one's ego driven needs.

Answer 6

I definitely need it since the suicide of my husband.