What is concider Cheating?

Question

What exactly is cheating?
Talking to another woman or man on the phone?
Emailing another woman or man?
Having sex with another woman or man?
Or All of the above if you dont tell your partner that you are communication with the person?
I ask because I just found out that my husband has been emailing his old girlfriend from 8 years ago when we were in highschool. He laughs and think I am over reacting. It's just emailing he says. I think it is cheating. Cause I did not know and I accidently found out about it. Dont any one agree? Or do you all think I am blowing a little issue up? I am ready to leave our 7 year commiment.
Thoughts Please!

Answer 1

Normal for one person is psychosis for another.

Answer 2

What is cheating to one person may not be cheating to another. If your husband is emailing another woman and not telling you and you do not like it then that is considered cheating. Some people do not think of emailling as cheating but I sure would not be too happy if it were to happen to me. If your husband did not tell you about the emails then I would have to say that there is a possibility that there is something going on. Why would anyone want to get emails from an ex when they are married???? You husband needs to have more respect for you and your marriage.

Answer 3

The email isn't cheating, but hiding it and the fact that this could lead to cheating - a secret meeting for lunch that turns into a romp in the sack somewhere for old time sake.

You get married you leave that stuff behind. If he wants to see her and talk with her he does lunch with her and you are there too.

The fact that was doing it behind your back is wrong. The laughing it off and telling you it's nothing is a hold off message to put you off and hope you'll forget about it.

I would tell you that this is a timebomb. If this guy continues to communicate with her behind your back he'll have sex at some point with her behind your back.

Personally I am not a jealous person. But something like this would light a fire under my *** and I would tell my spouse know one thing. If I find out that they have continued to email each other, meet for lunch or anything anywhere or have sex they are gone. No if ands or butts about it.

He should have come to you and asked if he could contact her and do the emails or phone calls in front of you.

You should also tell him that if he wants to talk with her or see her he needs to invite the little slut over to the house. Because, any other form of communication will move him out of the house.

Good luck with your situation.

Answer 4

I think cheating is when somebody feels they need to hide an relationship with someone else. Ask your husband this: If he wasn't cheating, why did he feel he needed to hide it? If it wasn't such a big deal, he could of at least mentioned it.

In other cases, if he did tell you about it, it would show he has nothing to hide so whether it's emailing or talking, it just means she is just a friend. The only thing that you listed up there that is definately considered cheating is having sex with another woman/man.

Answer 5

My thoughts, are all of the above. What was the point of him not telling you? Your reaction? Was it really no big deal? Has he lied in the past? I would not leave a commitment of 7 years over an email pending what the email had to say. Did he say he was married? How did he start speaking to her again? Would need more before I could say your blowing it up. Also if this was a little issue then he should have told you about it.

Answer 6

It's not the phone calls, or the e-mailing. It is the intentions behind it. If all he is doing is communicating with an old friend (even if it is an old girlfriend), then I don't call that cheating. It may be a little deceptive on his part for not mentioning it, but he must have thought you would over react if he told you. Now if he is professing his undying love to her and counting the days until he can get rid of you, then I would call that cheating.
As far as sex goes, to me that is cheating, no matter what. having sex with someone other than your spouse or significant other, is cheating.

Answer 7

Ha! I would say absolutely. It is "sharing", with an old flame, what he should be sharing with you. I don't think he would appreciate you talking on the phone with an old flame. Why would he email her? What is on the agenda for them? It may start out innocent.....but a lot can happen with a few words. If it is no big deal and nothing was going on then why did you have to find out the way you did? Why didn't he share it all with you? Because in the back of his mind he had some sort of guilt. Grab your purse and start for the door. If he asks you where you are going.....tell him your going to the local Kinkos to set up an email account so you can have a secret conversation with a man you were once in love with...........

Answer 8

It depends on how much you really love your husband. The more someone means to you, the more jealous you become. Most people wouldn't exactly consider an innocent e-mail "cheating", but as for me innocent or not i would most definitely have a LONG talk with my dude. I don't think your blowing it up at all, in fact i would blow it up A LOT MORE. first of all if e-mailing isn't that big of a deal then why wouldn't he let u know just out of common decency. My advice to you would be, before you dump him, give him a taste of his own medicine, make him a little jealous.

Answer 9

I think if the emails were just chat about things in the past that's fine. If they were erotic or something or planning to meet without your knowledge, that would be wrong.
I've always defined "cheating" as anything you do that you wouldn't do with your spouse sitting RIGHT THERE with you.
I have two opinions on this one. One, you're over-reacting if he can't just talk to old friends just because they have vajayjays between their legs...as long as the conversation stays platonic. Two, if he hid it, I have questions as to why? Was it because he KNEW you'd blow a gasket, or was it because he has something truly to hide? "He who has nothing to hide, hides nothing." That's what you need to get resolved. Before you walk out of your marriage, make it clear to him that if he's going to have a "friendship" with an ex-girlfriend that it needs to be an "open book", meaning at random, you could check his email or something like that. If he's not willing, he MIGHT have something to hide. (or he might just be resentful that you don't trust him.) Has he ever given you a reason not to? Is this your own insecurities, or a good gut intuition? Think it through before you undo the "I do".

Answer 10

He is probably thinking that there is just one type of affair. Someone probably needs to explain to him that there are two types of affairs: sexual and emotional. Depending on the nature of the emails, he could be having an emotional affair. Anyone who your husband is friends with you should know about and be introduced to. That's just the way it is. I would, however, not jump to conclusions. First, see how he feels about you meeting this lady and ask him about things he said or things she said in the emails. See his reaction and go from there. Let him know how you feel without yelling and nagging, so he'll respect your opinion. He should put your feelings first and come around. Also, this is no cause for a divorce. Don't give up so easily girlie! If he does not see your side, ask him how he feels about counseling. He just needs someone to break it down to him.

Answer 11

It's not cheating, however its lying. He isn't telling out about the emailing because he knows you would be upset about it. How would he feel if you were emailing your old boyfriend. Let's say the guy that took your virginity or someone you were really into or were engaged to? Being a man I know he would probably go overboard.

It's not cheating but he's hiding something!!!

Good luck