what are some things that can help you judge the character of a person? by this i mean, what are their intentions. if they mean you good or harm. thank you!!!
2007-09-05 09:16:27 · 17 answers · asked by pookie 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
That comes in time, and with experience. Even then, we are not always right about a particular person's character.
It's best to know as much as possible about a person as possible before becoming too close to them. For instance, you wouldn't want to be close to someone who was just released from the slammer for domestic violence, etc., right?
Watch out for lying and gossip, because with deceit and bad-mouthing others comes other character flaws. I wish you well.
2007-09-05 09:22:05 · answer #1 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be a confusion here between "character" and "intentions". They are actually very different.
For example: someone whom you consider your enemy might turn out to be a person of great character, if you look closely enough. On the other hand, someone who means you well at the moment (let's say a new friend, a lover or even a relative) might be morally rotten to the core, even if they haven't done anything to harm you (just yet).
I don't necessarily agree with those who say: "trust your instincts". Your instincts can give you good tips sometimes, but other times they are way off (especially when you fall in love). I'd rather say: "trust your instincts but trust your reason even more".
2007-09-05 10:15:53 · answer #2 · answered by vegas_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only judge a person's actions, not their intentions, as oftentimes, a person's true intentions are not even known to themselves.
To be a good judge of character, you must be a good observer. Is the person too angry too quickly over too small an issue? Are they too easily stepped on by others and not quick enough to defend themselves? Are they willing to stretch the truth on minor things? Do they lie to their spouses/friends/family? Do they always make up excuses for what they've done/not done? All these things contribute to a person's character.
Not being able to defend oneself in a bad situation does not make one a person of bad character, but it does let you know that this is a person who might not tell you the whole truth for fear of confrontation.
If a person is willing to lie or make excuses for their behavior to their 'loved ones,' how much quicker will said person lie to a total stranger?
If person goes schizoid over someone knocking into them accidentally in the hall, or runs someone down for not holding the elevator, whatever, you've got someone who will blame EVERYONE but themselves when something goes wrong.
I heard a saying once: The heart is wicked and deceitful above all things. When I think about this, I realize that it is true. My heart tells me what I want to hear, my head tells me what I need to hear. This is true for the person who can't defend themselves (it's not that big a deal = deceit. It IS a big deal when you allow people to treat you like you're nothing) or the person who lies (they're not gonna know = deceit. I think they're too stupid to know the truth) or even the angry person (they deserve my wrath = deceit. I don't like not getting what I want, so I'll tell myself that THEY are the reason I am unhappy.)
No, you cannot judge a person's intentions, but you can observe their actions and determine what causes the actions and how this action affects others, thereby giving you a fairly accurate idea of who this person is and what they're about.
Hope this helps.
2007-09-05 09:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm as bad at judging a person's character as a fool can be! My hubby can read most people like a book and has pulled me out of some pretty questionable friendships before we were married...thank goodness! Have a great weekend! Annie
2016-05-17 12:04:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read between the lines. I have found it best to expect the worst out of a person and hope for the best. You need to get to know the real person. That is not going to happen overnight. Ask the hard questions. If they beat around the bush or try to give you half-answers or vague answers, then they are probably trying to hide something.
Either way, don't judge too hastily, but don't wait until it's too late either.
2007-09-05 09:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by J N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is my personal opinion that you should judge people on their outcomes and not on their intentions.
That said, observe the persons manner to all sorts of people particularly people in the service industries. If they treat these people well than chances are they have generally good intentions. That also said some people with good intentions to immeasurable harm to others.
2007-09-05 09:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by gator_ce 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learning to read body language is probably the easiest way to try to find out what a persons intentions are.
This site explains some of that:
http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/body_language/body_language.htm
2007-09-05 09:23:19 · answer #7 · answered by Jade <>< 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you get to know a person you will observe if they are truthful, work hard, pay thier bills, take responsibility for thier mistakes, are slow to anger, accept criticism (if needed) are helpful, kind, etc. these are good character traits . someone who tries to live up to them probably has good intentions.
Then of course there was Ted Bundy ...
2007-09-05 09:35:27 · answer #8 · answered by cerisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fool me once, twice, third time is my fault. I've mis judged people one way or another, even those in my own family!
and close friends, as well as others both pos. neg.
I don't think this is always a given.
Bush was sure a fooler!!!!
2007-09-09 07:23:13 · answer #9 · answered by jenny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 dont be too quick to form an opinion (usually- first impressions can be VERY deceptive)
2 think of things from their perspective
cheers!
2007-09-05 09:20:10 · answer #10 · answered by michael 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋