I was wanting to know what the consequences would be if to show my disapproval of certain activites my wife wants to include herself in I begin to just wall myself off from her when she does them? Will it get her attention or just put more distance between us?
2007-09-05 09:12:23 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you put up a wall you will be putting more distance between yourselves. If there is a problem it has to be dealt with or the problem will continue and get worse.
If you want your relationship to improve you will have to get professional help if you can't solve this yourselves. This happened to me and I ended up getting divorced because I didn't get help with our problems. But I would like to add that I am a much happier person today without him
Good luck
2007-09-05 09:21:19 · answer #1 · answered by catlady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wall yourself off, then that will only give her the freedom to do what she wants. MAN UP. wear the pants in your house. A good compromise is to give her a time limit say she can do it for 1 month. Then it's over. Let her get it out of her system. Or .... here's my favorite. turn the tables. Then when she disapproves, then tell her that you'll stop when she stops. But make sure that you have the conversation first about you not liking what she is doing in the first place. this only works if she refuses to heed your disapproval.
2007-09-05 16:52:04 · answer #2 · answered by shellysd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you were a little more detailed with what she is doing. Does she go out all a lot without you? Does she not come home some nights? Does she flirt with other guys in front of you? Does she seem to be lying about what she is doing?
If it is things like this, then you need to discuss it with her in a civilized manner. If she gets real defensive about, then maybe it is time to re-evaluate your relationship. Determine what's more important to the both of you. This could end up being the 'saving grace' or the 'inevitable demise' of your marriage, but it is something that can't be ignored.
2007-09-05 16:29:30 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy Lisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the activities she wants to include herself in. No matter what you need to have a backbone and let her know that you disapprove of something. That doesn't mean she won't do it, because she is her own person and will do what she pleases, but at least she will know where you stand.
2007-09-05 16:17:54 · answer #4 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Distance and how far are you willing to go. Walling yourself up against others, creates and communication gap. Without communication you have nothing.
The severity of the communication gap would depend on the severity of her activities. If its just painting her nails red instead of pink...then you'll become the laughing stock instead regardless of what you do.
If its something that can hurt your marriage than it'll really help secure that divorce you may or may not want.
2007-09-05 16:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to be more specific...I mean are we talking bar hopping or murder here?
Sounds like you might have a chicken or the egg thing here, is she acting out because of your disapproval or has she been like this and you are NOW disapproving? Not cool on the latter.....
2007-09-05 16:17:47 · answer #6 · answered by kittykatsback 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Communication is the key in every successful relationship. Tell her how you feel and go from there. Open up the lines of communication or there will be a wedge between you.
2007-09-05 16:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by DearAbby2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The consequences are that you will look like a five year old little baby who never learned how to conduct a proper conversation.
2007-09-05 16:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would just put more distance between you. Instead why don't you have "we" time and "me" time? We all need time to ourselves. If she doesn't know you want me time, you can't blame her for including herself. She apparently feels left out, so start scheduling more "we" time and she will probably be more open to the "me" time.
2007-09-05 16:20:54 · answer #9 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Passive agressivism will drive me crazy sooner than anything else, and I bet she's the same way. Try talking about it with her in a calm and adult manner - actually sit down and talk, no yelling, fighting, etc.
But don't do the other - what are you, three?
2007-09-05 16:17:47 · answer #10 · answered by HooliganGrrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋