How do you learn to stop taking things too personally?

Answer 1

First, take full responsibility for it. You are doing this to yourself. Admit it to yourself that you are taking things too seriously and accept that its something you'd like to change. As long as you justify taking things personally by blaming other people ("but he was so rude to me!") then you are essentially surrendering all possibility of getting over it.

Second, develop a sense of humor about yourself. I don't necessarily mean start laughing or making fun of yourself, that is self-depreciation. I only mean start treating your own self much more gently and kindly. Often, people who take things too personally also take themselves WAY TOO SERIOUSLY (I would know, trust me). Try to understand that the little things that get under your skin aren't all that important, not important enough to lose your cool.

The hardest part is letting it go, thats why its so important to first accept responsibility for what is happening to you (that you are holding on to it in the first place) and to develop a sense of humor toward yourself (that you don't have to take yourself so seriously all the time). This will help you to understand that you don't need to hold on to whatever someone said or did to you. You begin to understand that holding on to something and taking it too personally is actually more harmful to you than whatever was actually said or done in the first place.

Hope that helps.

Answer 2

First of all, some things are personal and you have to be able to recognize if you are being attacked personally so you can take appropriate steps to protect your interests.
However, in other cases I think if you can just not care so much what other people think, especially if you feel you are doing nothing wrong, then you can kind of develop that "kiss my butt" attitude and shrug off the petty verbal assaults etc. Sometimes it helps to understand that some people are just rude because they are rude. Not your fault.

Answer 3

I used to have that problem. I still do to some small extent. I realised that I couldn't let the small stuff get to me and that almost everything was small stuff. When I would find myself starting to get frustrated or sad I would look at the problem and realise that it wasn't about me.

Just remember that sometimes you need to stop, step back, and take a look at things from a different point of view. I also found that people started to treat me differently once I began to do this.

Answer 4

Remember that everyone has their own agenda. Many people don't know your background, and don't even think about how they might be insulting others. For example, several years ago I had to have an abortion, because the baby had severe birth defects, and my husband and I could not have forced a child to live like that. It was one of the hardest decisions we ever made. Recently, an employee of my parents, not knowing my situation, spouted off that she was very tolerant because she didn't think people who had abortions AUTOMATICALLY went to hell.

Other people don't care how anyone feels, and in fact like to belittle others because it makes them feel better about themselves. Don't take them personally, either--no matter who they were talking to, they would put them down because it makes them feel better about themselves.

A very good book that I read recently is "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, and It's All Small Stuff." I tend to take things personally, too, and it helps to have a book whose author admits he has the same problems, and tells how he manages to cope.

Answer 5

You have to learn to distance yourself from whatever is being discussed, so you don't take it as a personal attack. Sometimes you just need to be 'thick-skinned' and that can only be developed by being around that kind of rough behavior so that you can adjust to it. In the meantime, just try not to let anything really get to you.

Answer 6

I go through this too, even the tiniest of things that are said to me matter but the truth is people just mean what they said or did so I just suggest try getting your mind on something else, I know it may not be the best answer but I think it's the best solution that there is.

Answer 7

Well context is one thing. I have this problem, too. I recommend relaxation techniques and I would try to keep in mind that it is not always about you. I am a bear in the morning and you have to just move past it. As far as the jokes go, you can laugh with them or just focus more on your surroundings. I hope this helps.

Answer 8

Seperate yourself from the idea that the person or situation is targeting you. realize that the person or situation does not control you, only you can control you. When you realize that you are the one with the power, things will roll off your shoulders alot easier.

Answer 9

I don't really know because I'm guilty of this. I think reason and logic may be a useful tool.