when do you know that you are ready for kids?

Question

Hi all, I am 30 and my husband is 32. We have been married for 6 years. We enjoy our life, we work hard at our jobs, take vacations, travel.
My question is- when do I know that I am ready for a kid? My husband and I tell each other that we might be ready, but I don't know for sure. How do I know? Should I talk to a parenting counselor?

Thanks

Answer 1

Any gynecologist will tell you, it's best to have kids before you hit your 30's, for a healthier pregnancy and to increase your chances. I think it's best to work on having a child now, if you both think you're ready.

You know you're ready when ther'es enough room for a baby in your house hold, You can work part time or quit your job financially or have someone to take care of the baby, or you can afford child care.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/beforeyoubegin/getyourlifeready/

you can do everything on the website, without totally disrupting your life.

There are plenty of online baby quiz's, if you google or yahoo search 'ready for a baby quiz', they can help you think or dig ga little deeper into what you think is a good time.

Pregnancy doens't happen right away, either, it can be months to years before you get pregnant, consistently trying, naturally. Even fertility treatments can be months, or up to a year for someone over 30.

You dont want to wait too long, Already you will be in your 50's while you're child is graduating highschool!
Perhaps, in your early 60's when you have your first grandchild, if your child has a baby around the healthy age of 28.

Think about what you want to be able to see happen with your children, buying their first home, having their family, watching your grandchildren go to high school, you will be in your 80's when your first great grandchild comes.

Thats now, thats if you have a child now... but this is normal, my mother had her third child at the age of 35, she's 23 now. my mother is 57 and doesn't want to do alot of the going out, and doing things as much anymore, as she did when we were little.

Answer 2

The truth is, there is no right time. If you were to sit down and go through your life, planning everything out year by year and then took a dart and threw it somewhere along this time line, the chances of hitting a time where having children would be a piece of cake are slim to none.Think about it. At the beginning of your marriage you're just getting to know each other. You want to spend some time alone with each other. The last thing you feel you want to do is add a baby to the mix because that baby would take time away from both of you spending time together. Be honest. That's how most of us feel. Then, maybe four or five years into our marriage, we're stuck in the career dilemma. We've bought our first home and the only way we can pay it off is if we both work. Well, if you're both going to work, it's pretty hard raising a kid when nobody is home. And you can't quit your job or career because you're deep in debt. Finally, your careers are pretty settled, you've advanced up the ladder, the money is good and you have more than enough to afford a child except you look up and you're 40 years old. You start to think that you're a little too old to be having children. So you sit back on your couch and give a sigh. You wish you had decided to have a child sooner.If you think the above scenario is a little far fetched, it's not. The sad truth is, this is pretty much what most couples go through in todayd when they decide to have or not have children. Sadly, there is no answer to your question. The right time is what is right for YOU. But, if you ask most people who have had children of their own and also wrestled with these issues, they will tell you not to wait. They'll tell you that there is never a right time. They'll tell you that there is always something in the way.

BUT THEY WILL ALSO TELL YOU that having a child was the greatest thing they ever did!


Good Luck!

P.S. Hope I've helped!

Answer 3

Good question!!

I asked this same question on yahoo a couple of weeks ago. My husband and I are in your same situation....both 29, married 6 years, good jobs, love traveling, love our families, etc.

I ask myself this question every day, "how do you know when you really ready?" It's difficult because all of our friends now have kids, even 2nd and 3rd kids, and we feel left out. But, we simply aren't ready now. We get alot of pressure from family, friends, coworkers, even people around town. People make comments....It's difficult.

We got a puppy a couple of years ago, and this sounds bad, but getting up in the middle of night, being tied to the house, not as "free" as we used to be, helped us realized we weren't ready to be parents yet. We know we want to someday...but...now is just not the right time for either of us. We enjoy being married, enjoy our time together, and if someday we are blessed with a family, then wonderful!

I don't know if I have any advice for you, other than, know you are not alone out there. And good luck with whatever you decide!

Answer 4

You don't know, and the truth is, you might never feel "ready". The question is, do you want to have the kid or not? If you feel you do want to have a child (for whatever reason), this might be as "ready" as you will ever get. Not everyone has the strong drive to procreate, but a lot of people go ahead and have kids - and I haven't heard anyone regret having had children.

Answer 5

When you both agree, and when you are financially able. Consider how old you will be when the child turns 18. Personally I think people should have their children any where from 18 to 25. Then by the time the child is grown they have plenty of time to go out and enjoy their senior years. If you have a child when you are 33 it will graduate from HS when you are 52.

Answer 6

I don't think you can ever be ready for kids. Kids are constantly in need of you. They don't care about how much money you have, all they want is your time. So as long as you and your husband think you can make time then now is the best time.

Answer 7

You may be ready, but since you are questioning it, you may be ALMOST ready. Just make sure your husband is on board.

I'm 29, hubby is 37 and we've been married 2 years. I'm not ready to have kids yet and my husband is fine with it. Not sure we ever will but the point is to be happy and if you're happy without kids, that's fine and if you want kids, that's fine too.

Answer 8

Bad news, hon. No one's ever completely ready for kids! Having children is 15% preparation, 85% on-the-job-training. If you both WANT children and you feel that you are financially secure enough to handle the associated expenses, then go for it.

Answer 9

you're ready for children when you're ready to put your life on hold. Once you have kids its about them raising them keeping them safe they get the first and the best of everything. And it doesnt stop at 18 your a mom all of your life. You have to be ready to put your self second or third long nights parent teacher conferences, the first time they get the chicken pox, or the first time they tell you they hate you and stomp off. If your ready for all that then your ready to start a family

Answer 10

I mean this in the least sarcastic way possible, but you will know you are ready for kids when you don't even have to ask that question. It will become something that you feel would really make you complete and not something that you would just like to try. Sorry if that sounds really negative!