Been married for almost 10 yrs, and Im so sick of my husband not "listening" to me....how do you get a man to actually pay attention, and hear you, instead of "selective" hearing?
2007-09-05 08:16:08 · 34 answers · asked by hasegirl1978 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
okay let me rephrase, I DONT nag him, I just wanna to chat about the day or whatever, he is either watching tv just not paying attention to me.
2007-09-05 08:49:15 · update #1
Hehe...use SMALL words, turn off the TV before you address him, and MAKE SURE you have his undivided attention prior to addressing him. 10 minutes later, quiz him and make sure he gets it right.
Honestly....we women expect men to be able to mentally multi-task, and they can't.
2007-09-05 08:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what 'selections' he is making of what you say to him. Is he reading into things too much, or tuning you out for the most part? When you say something, have him repeat to you what you said. If you nag a lot, they do tend to tune most things out and not listen. Try speaking to him differently than you normally do.
2007-09-05 08:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good Luck! Do men ever listen?? Talk to him about communication techiniques.. sit down at least 4 times a week for about an hour with no distractions.. and talk! Ask him to do this for 30 minutes... not everyday.. just a few times a week. Tell him it is important to you... to have him listen.. to hear what is going on in his life... etc... tell him you miss the times when you two use to talk and communicate. Good Luck...
2007-09-05 08:21:58 · answer #3 · answered by MurphysGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he tunes you out because you nag him
that's why all men do it
women think that their message is vitally important ( it's generally not ) and must be heard right here and right now,
such over played emotions eventually get the man into "she cries wolf" syndrome and thus he adapts his listening to your speaking habits, and thus tunes you out
so now you must undo the damage
and that is slow gentle effective communication
spare the emotion
when you see 2 guys talk to each other you generally notice they don't yell or over emphasize a given issue
you see no euphemisms used, only straight communication with clear objectives in mind, the complete opposite of what you probably have now
2007-09-05 08:44:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best way is to sit him down, don't have a tv or anything else around to distract and don't mince words or beat around a bush. If you do this then he will know it is important and worth his time. If you are just talking in passing and hoping that he will get the hint then you will be out of luck. Trust me...I am a husband, and that is what I need.
2007-09-05 08:19:58 · answer #5 · answered by No one 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Write him a letter and please dont use big words for he will just skip over the word he doesnt know
but what exactly is the problem also if its him going out and stuff staying out late get your own hobby and stay clear of him when you are ussually always with him stay strong and dont let hom bring down but dont know what type of problem your having because if its minor stuff like him not picking up his cloths or shoes give up they never change.............
2007-09-05 08:28:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all in the way you say it. Turn off the t.v. and any other things that may distract him and sit on his lap and rub his face while you tell him what it is that you want and need. Try not to yell or nag.
2007-09-05 08:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ladies, Ladies, Ladies...Come on now, don't be so hard on us. We have the tv syndrome, but most of us do listen and hear you just fine. Don't beat us up that bad. Continue to love us and work with us. Remember you have issues too.
2007-09-05 08:41:54 · answer #8 · answered by Tray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't! People do not change. I would suggest you see a marriage counsellor, by yourself and learn new ways of dealing with your relationship so that he doesn't even realize you are doing something different.
The minute you open your mouth all he is going to hear - whether or not you are doing it... is nag nag nag blah blah blah... so no... it won't change.
And remember, you're not his mother... he doesn't have to "listen" to you. Do you "listen" to him? Sometimes communication isn't about "listening" it's about hearing and seeing.
think about that.
2007-09-05 08:23:38 · answer #9 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been married 19 years and your guess is as good as mine. When you say he doesn't listen.....does he really not listen or just pretends he's not listening.
Start doing your own thing, don't ask his opinion all the time and just do what you think. When he says something, just say....I told you the other day, but I guess you weren't listening again.
2007-09-05 08:23:24 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say something crazy or spontaneous! Capture his attention. Dont be naggy. Be amazing! It's easy! Just beleive that you can capture the man you love's attention with ease.
2007-09-05 08:20:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋