Does domestic violence only apply to men on women?

Question

Why isn't DV against men taken seriously?
How many women have been arrested when it was less than the death of their other half?

Answer 1

I wish I knew why that was because feminists claim they want equality yet when a man is abused they say he is weak. I have been abused by women and they did it because they knew I wouldn't hit back and they knew I wouldn't call the law the last woman was caught doing it in public and only spent 2 hours in jail and then the charges where dropped. But at least we are equal under the law I have that to comfort me as I go through the pain of having a disk in my back severely damaged from a kick to the back that got her a 2 hour stint in jail and me a lifetime of pain and the very real possibility of being stuck in a wheelchair because of the damage to my spine. Yeah equal protection under the law for me. DV against men is ignored or we wouldn't have laws like VAWA that are out there to protect women and ignore/vilify men.

Jennifer men who are abused by women are not abusers themselves that is just more feminist BS. It is totally false and why would you call us woman haters. Oh yeah because we said something that doesn't make women look like angels. You do realise I hope that when you make a statement like that you are manhating?

Answer 2

I have read a few of the answer son here. Actually the reason why you do not hear more about woman on man domestic violence is because typically males are the stronger species. Women are smaller and while they may be strong, typically this is not the case. Also you hear about dv against men from many men who are in actuality batterers themselves. this is not saying that there are not cases of woman on male violence, just that they are the exception rather than the rule. If you study the facts and statistics available (and not those quoted by the angry men who hate women and think all women who talk about dv are feminazis), you will see that women spend twice as much time in jail for intimate partner murders as males. Women are also 3 times as likely to be murdered by an intimate partner (male) than a man is. Female violence is targeted at objects, whereas a male's violence is targeted at the female.

Answer 3

In addition to the above, there is an entire industry supporting absurd propositions like "95% of domestic violence is male-upon-female" and that if a man shows bruising, it's invariably the result of the woman's self defense (both lies I saw in the local paper during DV Awareness Month). There's still a lot of money to be grabbed and political hay to be made by propagating those lies. They're not going to give up their income and moral high ground (as they perceive it) just because the facts get in the way of their arguments.

[EDIT] Teleecee, your complaint that men don’t do enough to protect themselves makes sense, but doesn’t go far enough in defining the current mindset that skews law enforcement to the disadvantage of men. I agree that men have been tacit forever on this issue, do not organize politically for their rights nearly as well as women have for the past 40+ years, and are therefore partly to blame for the results. The other part, however, falls squarely on the deliberate suppression of evidence, by certain women’s organizations, demonstrating unequivocally that violence against men in domestic situations is equally prevalent as the reverse, and the invention out of whole cloth of "evidence" supporting the popular but mistaken beliefs that serve their pecuniary and political interests so conveniently, at the cost of justice and equality for all.

[EDIT2] The "self-reporting" surveys are probably the most reliable out there, since most other sources of data are skewed by the fact that FonM DV is the most underreported crime there is. Even so, the non self reported, scientific surveys go 50/50 or 65/35: nowhere near the 95/5 B.S. I read in the papers.

Answer 4

DV against men is taken just as seriously as DV against women, at least by law enforcement. The rest of society, though, doesn't take it as seriously because it is mostly believed that men are physically stronger than women (not always the case) and men that get abused by their wife are more often ridiculed because they are thought of to be weaker and "not a real man" if they get beat up by a woman. Also, men are less likely to report DV against them for pretty much the same reason. They are afraid they will be ridiculed.

Answer 5

Women aren't the only victims of domestic violence. I have a friend (a man) who is involved with someone who is physically abusive. I knew him for a very long time before he actually told me what was going on. He kept this part of his life a secret from everyone. He is ashamed, I think, to admit that he puts up with this abuse. He told me she hits him with things when she gets angry...brooms, dishes, whatever happened to be within her grasp. She's verbally (emotionally) abusive as well. Her temper is unpredictable and violent. He never knows what might set her off. She never acts this way in front of anyone else: no witnesses. They have a child together. He told me he stays because of the child. He's an excellent father who spends as much time as he can with his son. His son is his whole world. It makes me sad that he won't leave the relationship. She's killing him: emotionally and psychologically. I think that he fears if he leaves her, she will stalk him- that she may even kill him. I think he's right. He also fears that she'll keep their son away from him (use the child as a pawn). He can't imagine a life without his son. I think he also fears having to seek protection (if he left): having to face the humiliation of having to tell others what he's going through. He's afraid that people might not take him seriously, too. So he continues living in this nightmare. He's a good person. He's a great father. He is very smart, very friendly, very giving, very kind. It's really so upsetting to know he's going through this. He wants me not to interfere. I think I might be the only person he's ever actually told about the abuse. It's all I can do to keep his secret. Sometimes I wish his girlfriend would just drop dead. I don't know how to help him except to continue to be his friend.

I also know of another man who managed to get out of an abusive relationship (but it took police interference: enough calls from neighbors sent her to jail). This guy had been (over the course of time- a couple of years) been smashed over the head with glass bottles, a frying pan, attacked in his sleep, bitten, etc., by his girlfriend. She claimed he was abusive to her, as well. He did have a previous criminal record with charges of D.V. from a previous relationship. Apparently, he eventually involved himself with someone as mentally unstable (or more so) than he was. The two of them darn near killed each other before the courts ordered them to stay apart. Of course, as soon as she got out of jail, they both willingly broke the court order and began dating again. Both have problems with drugs and alcohol. Rumor has it that this girl is now pregnant with his baby. Both have left town together, and no one knows for sure where they are.

D.V. is not just a woman's issue. It's not just a man's issue. In many (if not most) cases, it's a family issue, and in my opinion, should be recognized as such.

Answer 6

Of course violence against a man committed by a female is reality. It's unfortunate the more men don't come forward and report these women so that it's taken more seriously.

Answer 7

It is taken seriously--problem is, men say nothing about it, not because they think women will mock them, but because their fellow men will mock them. My brother (6'2" and huge) was hit by his wife (6' and average) in public several times. He knew he couldn't hit her back, and everyone around thought it was quite hilarious. He had no recourse, and he didn't go to the cops because of the stigma--particularly his being so large, the cops, he figured, would laugh. Until more men make an issue of this, and actually do something about it, I hardly think people can be blamed for believing this doesn't occur. It is not feminism's fault or women's fault that men don't say anything, or feel that no one will take it seriously. Men have to do something, draw attention to it, make it a part of the masculinist movement so that people realize this is a problem. That's exactly what feminists did about the domestic abuse of women--they drew attention to the issue, they did something about it. It wasn't an overnight thing where people said, hey, maybe this is a problem that women are getting beaten in their homes. It's a matter of fighting for justice, not waiting for someone to do it for you. I don't understand the complaining in this forum about this issue when nobody appears to be doing anything about it. If it is a major problem, advocate on behalf of your brothers or yourselves and stop blaming other people for nothing being done.

Answer 8

DV against men is not taken seriously for several reasons:
1. Men, in general, are bigger and stronger;
2. Most DV is against women and children;
3. The notions that men are big, strong, stupid beasts, etc., is the prevailing attitude. Even today, women usually obtain custody of any child(ren) in a divorce proceeding. Women have the power of society behind them; men are loners, with no power of enforcement.
The same applies to rape; before, the law claimed that rape was committed by a male, that it was impossible for a woman to rape a man.
Then, along came a two-woman team that would hit gasoline stations with a lone man on duty; both women were armed. They would go into the station when no one else was around; pointing their guns at the lone man, one would direct him into the men's restroom, and, at gun point, told him to have sex with her! The men were always able to "perform". Meanwhile, the other woman would take all the money, etc. After the man "finished", they would leave him tied up in the Men's Room and escape.
About that same time period, another woman would rob males driving across Arizona late at night by hitching a ride. This woman would display a goodly part of her thighs and/or breasts to the traveler; once in the car, she would point a gun at the man, tell him to pull over, have sex with her, and leave him in the desert with a safety pin pinning his penis to his belly!
After that, some law enforcement persons and judges decided that, yes, women do sometimes rape men.
The problem is, women are much more social than men; when they are abused, someone will find out. If a man is abused, he is embarrased, fearful of what other men will say, etc., and clams up.
Men need to be just as vocal as women when it comes to these things.
Perhaps someday people will be humane to each other...

Answer 9

Domestic violence can be perpetrated by either men or women and can also involve children. It is violence that is done within a family context.
I think that it is very sexist for male victims of domestic violence to be dismissed because of gender bias. Although I have heard of women being arrested after retaliating against a man who was beating them or their children.
Although many studies report that men and women use physical violence at equal rates within intimate relationships, this fails to take into account the nature of the violence and the level of fear and injury experienced by each party.


Several studies document that women experience higher levels of fear than men do in domestic violence situations.This is perhaps because women in domestic violence situations are much more likely to be injured -- and injured severely -- than men are.


Recent years have seen an increase in the number of women arrested for domestic violence. For example, the percentage of women arrested for domestic violence increased in Concord, New Hampshire from 23% in 1993 to 35% in 1999. Vermont saw a similar increase from 16% in 1997 to 23% in 1999.18

Some have attributed this to the increase in "mandatory arrest" policies, in which police are required to make an arrest if there is probable cause that a person has committed domestic violence. Passage of these laws was advocated by feminists and domestic violence experts to address the inadequate response to domestic violence victims by law enforcement. When officers arrive at the scene of a domestic violence crime, they often cite evidence that both partners have engaged in some aggressive behavior, and arrest both the man and the woman. This "dual arrest" strategy fails to take into account which of two people is primarily responsible for the aggression and which one is responding out of self-defense, and can have devastating effects, particularly if there are children involved in the relationship.

To counteract this problem, some departmental or statewide policies now provide guidelines for an officer to determine who is the "primary aggressor" in a violent incident. For example, the California Commission on Peace Officer Standards and Training publishes a guidebook for officers responding to domestic violence, discouraging "dual arrests" and outlining several factors to consider when determining who is the primary aggressor in a domestic violence situation. The primary aggressor is defined as "the person determined to be the most significant, rather than the first, aggressor." Factors to consider include the history of domestic violence between the people involved, the threats and fear level of each person, and whether either person acted in self defense. These are appropriate considerations when determining who is the primary aggressor, and therefore which of the two parties should be arrested.
The FBI reports that between 1976 and 1996, domestic violence claims the lives of more than four women each day.

Answer 10

It applies to both, my wife was arrested for Simple assault: domestic when she beat me. As a side note they also arrested me for saying she deserved to be beat for what she did to me. It was a Criminal threatening charge. Goes to show shut your mouth do NOT say anything to cops....EVER even if you are the victim.......yes there is a bias against men who cry foul against a woman