do you think people give up too easily on marriage these days?

Question

seems like people give up more easily these days. Do you think that sometimes it takes the bad times to appreciate the good? that sticking it out & working together to get through the difficult times makes a marriage stronger?

I don't believe in divorce. My husband & I have had our share of bad times, but the good times far outweigh them. I for one could never walk away from the promise I made to him & to God. What do you think?

divorce has become so common that our children are seeing this as the norm. I grew up seeing that a marriage is a lifelong commitment. What kind of example are we setting for our children?

Answer 1

My husband and I have had our share of "those" times too...you know, the ones that make you want to run home to your mother...

A lot of people do divorce when things get hard and cop out the moment it's no longer "marital bliss". We have to remember that marriage is sometimes hard and it does take work...anything in life worth having is worth working for.

I think that it's those times that make you stronger together. "We only have twenty dollars to last us until Friday?" Well...we have ten each and we're going to take a shower together to cut back on the water bill. :-D Right?!?

Thank goodness there are still people out there like yourself who see the value in getting through hardships together and who still take to heart the words "Till death do us part."

Answer 2

I do believe that a lot of people view marriage as a situation that they can easily get out of if it doesn't work out. The stigma is gone from someone who has been divorced. I know it used to be that if you were divorced, it carried a certain stigma with it that was negative. Now it has become the norm. Marriage takes a lot of work, communication, understanding and patience. With time society has lost a grip on all of these things. No one wants to work at marriage because everyone wants immediate results. People don't talk to each other and share thoughts and feelings the way we should. It seems that there is a big push now to keep a closed mind regarding certain things. Marriage is also viewed by many more as a legal institution rather than a religious one. People have more conviction for God than for the law. These are just my thoughts though....I could be wrong.

Answer 3

Sometimes yes, sometimes not. What seems to be common though is lack of communication. People let an issue build and fester w/o addressing it and then months or years down the road they've grown to resent or despise their partner because of it and the damage to the relationship is very difficult (if even possible) to repair.

If people would communicate more and stop just sitting on issues hoping they'll get better, they may find resolutions aren't so difficult and the relationship won't be a "hell" they live in until they finally decide to throw in the towel.

I definitely believe that what was once a good match, may change over time and no longer be...and that's okay. That's not a failure on anyone's part but just Life. Things that have a beginning (even love) quite often have an ending...

Answer 4

I agree. I just saw an article on Yahoo about Shaquille O'Neal and his wife. They are getting a divorce. It is so sad. I think people get divorced because: they were not mature enough to be married in the first place; they had unrealistic expectations of their spouse and neither were willing to compromise; they are unfaithful; they are too lazy to work through the problems and the easy thing to do is to say "I want a divorce". I do believe that if you are in a marriage that is not going to work for obvious reasons then you should consider getting a divorce. If both parties are not willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work then you forget it. I think a lot of people think the marriage is all about them.

Answer 5

my husband and i went thru a difficult time right after our son was born...financially, mentally, physically...you name it, it caused a huge rift in our family...but we have since worked thru it and we have had the best marriage ever for the past 6 months or so....I believe in the saying "what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger" i feel that we were tested and we made it thru it, and now we can face any problem!

In some situations people do give up way too fast in others its hopeless no matter how much time you spend trying to fix it......I believe it truly depends on the situation, of course these days more often then not people are giving up way too fast. I take my vows seriously, but ya know there are some circumstances that i would not be able to overcome!

Answer 6

I think it depends on the person or persons, and the situation. In alot of cases, yes you see them give up too easily. For example, the husband or wife goes out and cheats because the excitement is gone, and it's too much effort to re-kindle it. Or differences in financial, or child bearing opinions. I think alot of people give up too easily, yes.
But, in situations where one person say, is unfaithful to the other, I can understand it. Some people are forgiving enough to work it through, some aren't. I can honestly say in that situation, it's the highway. When your trust is broke, what do you have left? What joy is it to wonder each day what they are doing, or if they'll do it again?
Also, in abuse situations, verbal, physical...etc...I cannot blame someone for leaving that situation.
Every person and every situation is unique. All I know is that right now I'm happier than ever with my soon-to-be, I trust him and love him. We don't sweat the small stuff, and if negativity enters our lives, we deal with it as a team.
Great question - have a wonderful day!

Answer 7

Sometimes it seems that way. But you really don't know what someone else is going thru or what their marriage is like. It takes two people to make the marriage work, and it takes work. I think sticking it out thru the difficult times of course makes it stronger. But one can't do it alone.
No one gets married wanting to get a divorce or planning on 'giving up' , as you put it. But you can't live in hell for your whole life. Every relationship is different, don't judge until you have walked in their shoes.

Answer 8

Some people(myself included) think if something was broken, you fixed it, not throw it away. The bad thing is there are too many kids growing up either without a parent or jumping from parent to parent because some people give up too easily. Many wait til too late, true, but its usually because something is keeping them there, kids, money or whatever. Its horrible but we can't really change the flow of events for anything.

Answer 9

I agree with you.

Our society views divorce as 'ok'...so why not do it?

I am the same as you, I completely REFUSE to get a divorce. My husband and I had discussed this MANY times and we both agree on that, lol. He and I both come from families where our parents are still married, so I feel we have good examples to look off of to hopefully help us to stay strong through the bad.

I also feel that too many women are too focused on having a 'perfect wedding' and never look past that on how to have a lasting marriage.

Answer 10

I agree with you. I think people go into marriage and think its gonna be some kind of fairy tale with a happy ending. What they dont realize is that it takes a lot work to have a good marriage. I've been married 15 years and there have been good times and bad times and thats the way it is. Its not always easy and sometimes it takes a lot of work. But it can be done as long as we dont go in thinking its gonna be like easy.