My husband and I want to have a baby but we pretty much can't "afford" it, any advice?

Question

My husband and I have been married 8 months and we have known since before we were engaged that we wanted to have children immediately. We are 21 and 22 , still in college, and not getting paid very much. I know the answer seems to be a loud and resounding NO! but we are ready to be parents and are already 2 months past when we originally said we would start trying. The only reason we are waiting is because of money. If we had a child we would not be able to save a dime or do anything that is "fun." Meaning, we couldn't go out to eat or to a movie at all. We are prepared for this, just not for the fact that we may not be able to buy the amount of groceries we would need for that month or be able to pay a car note. Any advice or experiences you would like to share? Maybe ways to make extra money once the baby is born?

My husband and I have been married 8 months and we have known since before we were engaged that we wanted to have children immediately. We are 21/22 , still in college, and not getting paid very much. I know the answer seems to be a loud and resounding NO! but we are ready to be parents and are already 2 months past when we originally said we would start trying. The only reason we are waiting is because of money. If we had a child we would not be able to save or do anything that is "fun." Meaning, we couldn't go out to eat or to a movie at all. We are prepared for this, just not for the fact that we may not be able to buy the groceries we would need for that month or be able to pay a car note. Any advice or experiences you would like to share? Ways to make extra money once the baby is born?
**I appreciate all of the answers I have gotten so far! I did want to add that I would like to do this without government assistance.I do not feel that I am above it,but that is not what we want.

Answer 1

You are never financially prepared to have a baby....long and the short of it.

I wish I had met my husband when I was your age and started then...for energy sakes.

We are managing on one income...its a matter of what your priorities are and how you want to live.

The first 2 years of a childs life probably arent as expensive as you would think...the money comes in clothes, food and medical costs.

I say if you are both in agreement and you have a roof over your head and one of you has a stable job that will be there in a couple of years...have your children now.

Answer 2

For one, if you love this man don't let your daughters say what you can do and when you can do it, after all they live with their Dad and see you at weekends, are you supposed to give up your love and social life during the week for them? No, it would be the same if they lived with you. Your the adult, do what the hell you want! You're having a baby with this guy that seems to think the world of you and he isn't heading for the hills because he's found out you're having a child with him. He's reassured you before on a different occasion, age is a number who cares if he's ten years your junior?! If he makes you happy carry on as normal! Take a risk (which in fairness isn't that massive) stop thinking about your insecurities. Un grip that tight fist! If he didn't want to stay with you he would have gone by now, he had a great excuse to leave when you told him. But he stayed and took you for food. Enjoy the moment, it doesn't come around every day. At the end of the day it's your decision and whatever feels right for you go for it, but my advice would be to not jump in to or out of anything too fast, you may end up regretting it. Good luck, I hope everything turns out the way you want.

Answer 3

First off don't listen to the negative answerers. As someone mentioned in another answer, you are never able to "afford" kids. There will ALWAYS be things that you never thought you would need to figure into a budget, school supplies, daycare, diapers, baby wipes, medicine, clothes when they are constantly growing. Unless you are a millionaire you can't just figure a child into a budget. I got married when I was 16 and had my daughter when I was 18. We started with no car, no job, no house or apt. Now we have 2 cars, 2 jobs, I go to school full time and we live in a 3 bedroom home. Its tight now but we want more kids. Why? Becuase life is about appreciating what you have and working for what you don't have. Where there is a will there is always a way. If your biggest concern is not doing anything "fun" there are PLENTY of things you can do that is fun at home without spending a dime. If you want to have kids think unselfishly and don't worry about your "fun". It will all come in time and obviosuly your first couple months of being a parent won't be going out to movies and such it will be about you and your new family. Have your baby but smile at what the future could hold. You will always have obstacles whether it be money or not, but thats life. My parents struggled my parents parents struggled. Its a journey in life we must conquer to get to our goal. When life hands you lemons you make lemonade right?! cheer up, and remeber as long as you have eachother and can provide all your child needs to be happy and healthy than thats all you need to get started the rest will come eventully.

Answer 4

I agree, no one can afford kids & I recall watching on tv a study about women who wait to get a career established & eventually find it harder to get pregnant in their older years. I'm 22 yrs old. I just had my first child 2 1/2 weeks ago. I don't work & my husband doesn't make much money. If times come where we are financially unstable, we will find a way to make more money. Don't worry about that!!! Becoming a parent was the best thing that ever happened to me & I would never trade it for anything. I am a believer that if God wanted to give me a baby, He would. All things happen for a reason & you wouldn't get pregnant if it was going to hurt you in any way. I don't know how each state is, but in Texas, you could try to get on Medicaid (which to some people can be embarrassing, but it's not). Medicaid will cover all your prenatal visits & prescriptions if needed. As soon as you get on Medicaid, you can get on WIC & receive food for each month (milk, eggs, cheese, peanut butter or beans, juice, & cereal). So your grocery bills will be slightly smaller & you won't have to worry about pricey doctor visits. Once the baby is born, your baby will then be covered under Medicaid (they will cover all your baby's shots & sick doctor visits) & WIC will either supply you with a breast pump or formula (whichever route you choose to take). Now this all depends on your total income. I know you & your husband are still young & want to go out. But things will change! Just think of what is more important to you. Going out or having a child...? Trust me, you will be able to go out when you have a baby, it won't end completely. Don't get discouraged! I say go ahead & try because it will be so worth it when you see what beautiful being you created. As long as you have your husband & family you made together, you'll be happy. And one more very important thing, don't give up on college!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Like most of the other people said, you will more than likely never be able to 'afford' to have children, unless you are very wealthy. If you are elligable you can apply for Pregnancy Medicaid that will help you for the doctor bills and hospital visits, ect. You can apply for WIC and other things that can help you during your pregnancy and a lil while after you have your baby. Food stamps, ect. But that is all up to you, but there are things that can help you if you need it... just dont take advantage of it. Here is a neat lil thing you can see how much it will cost to have a baby. http://www.teenageparent.org/english/costofbaby2B.html
The only ways you can really make extra money is to get a job after the baby is born, and if you think about it, hubby is workin, and you would want to spend at least some time at home with your baby so say you get a part time job, youre really only making enough extra money to put the kid in daycare while youre at work... so it would just make more sense to stay home with your baby. I dont know, thats my opinion though. And you dont want your kid to be in daycare forever ya know. But its a lot to think about, i know, im pregnant and all these things have gone through my mind too. How are we gonna do it? You just do. It all falls into place as long as youre doing what you have to do, and getting financial help for a little bit isnt the worst thing in the world if its what you need to keep on your feet for a little bit. Good luck and i hope things work out for you.

Answer 6

I'm sorry if this is not what you would like to hear, but I am going to have to say wait. Children are expensive and it is important to be able to provide for them. Financial difficulties can put a huge strain on your relationship, especially since you are so young and newly wed... My husband and I waited 8 months after getting married, before we started trying. The reason for this was to try and save a good amount of money in our savings so that we know the money is there in case something were to happen. A child changes everything. An adult could limit themselves when the going gets tough, but a child should never be limited. They need nutrition and so much more to grow and become a healthy adult. Wait a bit, try life without going out to movies or dinner, save what you can..... if it works for you and you have enough saved then you can start trying. God bless you two for being such a great couple and wanting to start a family.

Answer 7

Most people can never "afford" a child.... My husband and I can't really afford the baby we are having, but we decided that if we waited until we could afford it, we would never have one.... Plus he is older than me (he is 32) and he didn't want to wait much longer to have kids. He all ready has a 7 year old from a previous relationship.... I have a 2 year old... We wanted to have one together though, and we want a girl.... We are struggling financially, but in the end it doesn't really matter... As long as we have a roof over out head and food in our belly's, we will be fine! The one thing I might suggest though, is wait until you are out of college... It will be very tough on you to try to go to school after the baby comes. And it will take you away from your child.... For me why have a child if you can hardly be around them? I quit working so that I could be home with the kids... They grow up so fast, you don't want to miss a moment! Good Luck with everything!

Answer 8

Any extra time you had will be gone once the baby is born. Not only that, while working you'll have to work hard to arrange child care and that's not only tough but hugely expensive. If you can't afford to support the child, don't have one. Work on getting better jobs or saving more money. There's no need to rush. Should you decide to have a child, realize that it's not just you who will be sacrificing, it's the child. Having come from a home of parents who had children before they were ready, I can tell you, it's not fun for the child. Both my parents worked and they worked hard but there were days we had nothing to eat. The first step to being a parent is to be ready to think of someone other than yourself, doesn't sound like you're ready for that.

As a previous poster pointed out, there's always the option where you're not supporting the child, the citizens of your country are. How wrong is it that people can plan to have children and PLAN not to have to pay for it?

Answer 9

I completely agree with everyone else here so far-you'll never be able to afford it! Best suggestion I have would be if you do get pregnant, SAVE SAVE SAVE...and maybe pay an extra car payment if you can just to make it easier. As long as you are working hard, and plan on continuing to do so...like you said, you're ready to give up 'fun' things. Just don't depend on other people (parents etc) to help you financially. They may, but if they do consider it a blessing. also, have a plan for if you end up out of work earlier than you expect....that happened to me and the bills quickly piled up because we had counted on me being in work for another 2 months.

Answer 10

I would strongly suggest waiting till you finish school and at least one of you has a post-collegiate job. Plus a job usually means insurance. Do you have health care that will cover a baby now?

Also, trying to juggle a new marriage, with school, and a new baby is going to put a lot of strain on your new family. Not saying you can't handle it, but it would be a lot for anybody.

Try this. Sit down with your husband and make a list of why you sould have this baby right now and another list of why you should wait. Waiting might be hard to do --- I can totally understand the desire to have a baby, but it just seems to make so much more sense. Take a couple of years to enjoy being married and enjoy college.