2007-09-05 05:16:01 · 23 answers · asked by phillip h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it is your past relationships, then you had better get a handle on it quick. I had the same problem and almost lost my marriage. It took a long time to repair the damage I did. She is not at fault for everything that happened to you. You need to sit and talk with her and let her know that you really want to work on it. Step out of your comfort zone and encourage her to do some sort of activity without you. You need to meet your insecurities head on and realize that it is just insecurity and not reality. If you need to talk to someone then do so. If you love her don't destroy it.
2007-09-05 06:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by HUH? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi I can honestly answer this because I'm dealing with this same issue my signifcant other has serious trust issues ....Its gotten so bad that we are very shaky right now women have hurt him in the past and taken advantage of his kind nature ....I have said and done everything imaginable to gain his trust .....it really, really, hurts when you love someone on such an itimate level and they don't trust you ....Work on this get conseling if necessary or your next question will be is "How do I get my wife back" The guy I'm speaking of were not even married ...then you should think about how hurt your wife is by your insecurity
2007-09-05 05:48:15 · answer #2 · answered by meka33311 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can trust her then let her go,It will be the biggest mistake of your life though! It will be the best thing you could for your wife! Been there doin that, my husband for 24 yrs now has trust issue's with women his mother left him when he was small & he went through several stepmoms and so on! Trust me it sucks being the wife! Ya gotta let it go, So take a chance on trusting me,I promise it will help your marriage! Trust and Respect will get you along way! Good Luck!!
2007-09-05 07:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by snafudotcom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my!
Yes, having no trust in your partner is the beginning of an end.
Do you accuse her of doing things that she hasn't done?
I hope you are able to control the urge to do that. If someone is being accused of doing something, and having to pay the price, then it is natural to just go ahead and commit the crime- since you are already 'guilty' of it.
I wonder, does she trust you?
When we marry, we must have undoubted trust and faith in each other for the marriage to work. It sounds like this is your issue. What can she do to reassure you? what is it that you need her to do? There is probably nothing she can do, only you can prevent your insecurities from ruining a marriage with a woman you love.
2007-09-05 05:28:35 · answer #4 · answered by Rev. Deb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well Phillp first of all she is your wife and you made a vow on that wedding day till death do us part.
second you are going to have to forget the past and reach for the future there is no other way. you can beat yourself over the head day and night on the past. Letting go of your past is what is going to save your marraige.
third your wife is your best friend it is some one you can tell anything to i really dont think you need a counsoler what you need to do is talk it over what ever it is she will understand let her know how you feel talking is so important be open about it, it will work out best
please let go leave it behind what is done is done look towards today and not what did happen or what you could have done but it is your decision the heart is decitful above all just open up to her and it will work out i will be praying for you. hope it all works out i really dont want to say this but if you have ever prayed just pray God can do it best just talk to him
2007-09-05 05:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by blank00x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean, "you can't trust her because of 'your ' past relationships..". That's plural on past relations right? So are you afraid to put her name on your retirement plan or the deed to the family house? Do you suspect she may want to sue for divorce and take all your toys and family inheritance or maybe poison you? You really need some one on one psychiatric counseling. Sounds like you suffer from some sort of paranoia. Do the "marriage" a favor and cure yourself first.
2007-09-05 05:30:27 · answer #6 · answered by make room for daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to make it work, tell her you have troubles trusting sometimes... So she needs to forgive you when you're out of line. Don't ask for an explaination over everything.
Now the secret. No matter what, Believe everything she tells you as truth. And don't believe otherwise unless you have proof other then what someone says. Trust your wife above everyone. Its hard, but you'll get used to it. And forgive her for mistakes if she's actually sorry, not faking it!
2007-09-05 05:24:49 · answer #7 · answered by Bridget S 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just because of your past relationships does not mean your wife is cheating on you unless you know for sure such as catching her in the act or guys are calling for her but before you get married and you know one another long enough to know if you can trust and love one another deeply there should not be any question on cheating or even flirting with other guys . hope this helps if you feel strongly about it talk it over with her but be sottle about this .
2007-09-05 05:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by purpleparadise2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without any trust...your marriage is doomed. You would do yourself and your wife a lot of good by seeing a therapist so you can get past these trust issues.
2007-09-05 05:26:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work through your past and figure out what happened that is stopping you from being open to your wife completely.
You need to realize that past hurts were in relationships with other women. It is not fair to your wife to lump her in the same category as them.
You need to be able to express what you think is the problem to your wife. You need to be open with her about your challenge and your fears.
You then need to go, together, to a relationship counsellor and talk about your past openly.
You have to do the homework about the past to understand and enjoy the present.
2007-09-05 05:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋