How could he want a divorce for cheating on him at a time like this?

Question

I'm 33 and have been happily married for 7 years.My husband and I had a great marriage until my best male friend who I had known for ten years died In a car accident.I was devastated and just a complete mess.I couldnt think straight and made many,many mistakes during that time.I said some horrible things to people who cared about me and did drugs and anything else I could to try to escape reality.I ended up having a 3 months long affair with the brother of my deceased best friend.Getting caught was a huge wake up call for me and I'm honestly trying to get help and get my life back.I'm terribly sorry for what I've done to people and it just doesn't seem to be enough for my husband.He's contemplating divorcing me because he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to trust me again.What am I supposed to do?How can I make him see that I deserve anothe chance?

Answer 1

What you did was very wrong. If my husband did that exact same thing, I would never trust him again...and probably get a divorce. I know it hurts, but did you ever think that you're being selfish?

YOU were devestated, YOU slept with another man, YOU don't want him to divorce you, YOU apologized, YOU think you deserve another chance.

I'm very sorry, but you should think about HIM. How HE feels, how you betrayed HIM.

How would you feel if his best friend died, so he banged his best friends wife?

Answer 2

Sounds like this is all about you. What about your husband? You ask how can I make him see that I deserve another chance? Your title is how can he divorce me at a time like this? Hon, you need to get professional help to have better coping skills and how to handle problems in a more mature manner. It's not about you. Being sorry is one thing but doing something to improve your self is a way to start rebuilding trust. If he doesn't stay with you, can you honestly blame him? If you say yes, then it shows you really do need more help. The best you can do for him and yourself is get professional help and give the man the respect he deserves.

Answer 3

What you did was wrong, you know that. But you have to understand that you saying that it was just a phase isn't going to cut it. You broke your marriage vows, your promise to your husband. I know it hurts, but you have to see what he's feeling. Yes you were grieving and were very upset, but that doesn't excuse your actions. In life you have to learn to deal with stress, death, grief, etc in a healthy manner or you'll end up where you were. Speak to your husband about going to couples therapy, let him know that you are willing to do anything that you can to make your marriage better. If he doesn't want to, then let it go. You wronged him, he has the right to leave. I don't know if I could stay with my boyfriend if he cheated on me, regardless of the situation. You have to think that he probably thinks that you'll use that excuse over and over agian and continue to cheat. I'm sorry, but do everything you possible can to prove to your husband that your sorry and that you will never do that again. It's the only way!

Answer 4

WOW, I was married to a CHEATER!!! I must of given her 20- 1more chances, and guess she just kept going, and then I found out that, I too could do the same thing!! Then she really flipped out!!(domestic violance)!! I left, I don't think we were ever that happy, just too young&horney, I raised my kids(single dAd), and we had a great time.That was 25 yrs ago!! If he doesn't get pass this, it isn't the end of life, just changing time!!@ GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

Honey! even i could tell your husband wasn't the man you were in love with. you slept with the decease brother to bring back memories...

He shouldn't be around you, you have wrong him in soooo many ways let alone, told him straight out you were never in love with him....it's always sad being a side show husband.