I don`t come into the equation.She shows me no affection and there is next to nothing on the physical side.
What can I do to make her realise that I exist !!!!!!
confused,
Michael
2007-09-05 04:56:24 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This problem needs to be handled in a very straightforward manner. You need to come right out and discuss your unhappiness. You need to let her know that you are feeling lonely and unappreciated. She may be busy with life and not even realize what she is doing (especially when you have kids, because it is easy to put each other aside when it comes to our kids).
Just communicate this very honestly and openly. Maybe you need to suggest a "date night" once a week where you get a babysitter and you two can go to a movie or dinner alone without children. You need to recapture "dating" behavior and fun in your marriage otherwise her pattern may never stop.
You also need to ask her how she is feeling. Chances are she is feeling overwhelmed with the kids. Maybe help her with some chores. If she sees you understand her, she will likely make an effort to understand you.
2007-09-05 05:16:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy...It's called COMMUNICATION!! If there isn't any there then there isn't much of a marriage. Being a mother and a wife is hard work. Just because she doesn't show you much affection doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. How old is your baby? She could be stressing even tired. Kids are hard to take care of. Sounds like your being very selfish. If you want her attention I suggest you let her take a day off and you take care of the kids. Then after that both of you get together without the kids and enjoy your time together.
2007-09-05 12:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me as if the love is gone out of that relationship. You guys need to rekindle what you had if you had it in the first place. Use your imagination. Plan a date with just you and her. Dinner and a movie. A getaway. Go to the park, go walking. Take up a sport like bike riding or row boating. Have dinner at home together. Watch a movie together. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have 1 7 year old and we do everything together. From having dinner as a family to walking the dogs at night as a family. Plan things and have something to look forward to. Maybe even take on couples dancing classes.
2007-09-05 12:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her!!! Better yet show her. You looking for affection, but are you doing the things to get it. Women want romance. Bring her flowers. If you ain't getting nothing physical, cook dinner naked. If you can't cook then get some carry out and set the table naked. Spend time with her. Like get a babysitter and you two go to the movies. Once you are there, do all the nasty things you did with girls in the dark like you did in high school. But tell her how you feel because she won't know.
2007-09-05 12:10:55 · answer #4 · answered by Sharda8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, well all this stuff about trying to get her attention by taking her to dinner etc.. I think not. Maybe she feels overwhelmed... The very best thing you can do it compile your thoughts... Get in your head what you want to say that will not put her on the defensive side. Sit her down when the kids are in bed and you have a moment to talk. Tell her you feel left out, neglected... Ask her what she wants from you then tell her what you need from her. Affection, the time of day, some booty lol... lay it out there..
2007-09-05 12:14:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sugar 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
besides the kid part, man are we in the same boat. I'm turning 30 tomorrow, been married not even 2 months and will be filing for divorce on my birthday. Everyone and everything comes before me, all the time. We can't even agree on the dump we live in, I want out, he wants to stay. This just isn't going to work out. You to are being emotionally neglected and the affection thing, yeah, what affection? I hear you, know you're not alone. Feels great doesn't it!
2007-09-05 13:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be treating you like a meal ticket because she feels you treat her like the maid ( or something similar). Just a thought. I think you should talk to her ( after the kids are in bed) and the 2 of you come to a common ground. Youve grown apart and need to start connecting again. Just start with talking about the relationship with her ( fun, yes) and the the affection will hopefully follow. :)
2007-09-05 12:21:46 · answer #7 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she is so exhausted by the time she has finished being nice to everyone that she has no energy left? Do you have time for her? perhaps you should allocate time together, make her feel loved and wanted and the physical side will happen, perhaps you could take some pressure off by spending time with the kids and giving her a break? therefore giving her some energy for you
2007-09-05 18:39:59 · answer #8 · answered by gillie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she realise she's acting that way?? Sometimes people take each other for granted and don't give them the attention they need. She's probably putting all her effort into the children. Tell her how you feel, it's not fair on you. If she still doesn't change then it's time to re asses your marriage. I hope things work out for you xx
2007-09-05 12:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by sparkle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The idea of a marriage is to join two people who are very much in love. If she doesn't have time for you, does she really love you? Sit her down and talk to her about love, and how hurt you are feeling - she may not have realised.
2007-09-05 14:06:28 · answer #10 · answered by matthewmooregirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋