She wants to get married and have a baby at age 18?

Question

My niece who is 18 year old turning 19 years old in the upcoming weeks wants to get pregnant so her 15 year old boyfriend he turns 16 i think at the end of the school year will have to marry her?I am very concerned her parents are divorced have been since she was 10 yrs old .Since then she has gotten kicked out of 3 different boarding schools and caused so much trouble failing classes,getting arrested for assulting her step mother, and a DUI neither of her parents want to deal with her.I was asked by her mom (my sister) to take her in for her senior year of highschool.Its been a year and half since she's been living with me. I got her to graduate HS through a lot of nagging and even got her to sign up for classes at the local community college.She seemed to be turning around till i found the ovulation kit and when i confronted her she said she wanted to ensure her bf would have to marry her?Saying he was a good catch and already promised to marry her when he turns 18.What do i do?

I love my niece very much but if she were to get pregnant i would not be able to help her financially.She does not pay rent as it is or help out around the house but her parents are paying for her tuition as well as sending me some extra cash that goes into buying her food clothing ect.Her bf is a very sweet kid honor roll student want to be a computer engineer who is completley smitten with my niece.

Answer 1

First of all I like to commend u on for steppin up and takin on the respondsabilty of your sister child . First thing i dont think he can marry that young without the parents rights . But u need to get both her and bf together and speak to them about this let them know being a parent at a young age and neither of them no job and hes still to young to get a good job to be able to support them both . Tell her if they really and truely love one another then when its time for them to marry they will but bring a child in the world is not going to make anything happen if anything it will make the matters worse . Tell her she sees what it was like for her and she dont want to put her child throu the same thing . If he truely loves her and she truely loves him it will wait till both are out of school and be able to take own that respondsability . Good Luck and hope this will help .

Answer 2

This is a joke, right? Babies, marrying babies, and having babies. This won't last thru a pregnancy, and then some innocent child gets to be raised by a grandmother, or an aunt (you) or a single mom.... wonderful... Read this to her... Sweetie, you will go from being the huss, the sexy fox, the huss the babe to pregger lady, and housekeeper. And for him, he will go from being the dude, the sex machine the man, the screwing king, to father and provider. And no one will ever tell you that this is going to happen to your cozy little relationship, and you apparently think that marriage and having a baby are the answer to all your problems... oh, my, how wrong you will be.... Your little relationship will turn 180 degrees!!!!!! All we get told is , "OHHHH we're gonna have a baaayyyyyybeeeee, ain't that sooo romantic???". and it isn't. You aren't going to stay what he married , and he isn't going to stay what you married, and the prospects of being a father with lower testosterone (he doesn't know that yet) will just shock the sh(it) out of him.... He's still a baby, and now he has you preggers,,,, what a shocker. And he will run... he's too young and so are you.....Some guys go out and have affairs, and get some second lady preggers...)... and the troubles really start after the kid is born, and now this screaming third thing is in your relationship... you no longer get to think of each other, you have to get up, feed this kid, and he has to put up with your soon to happen changing moods... great, huh? Kids are not bonding, hon, they are divisive, even in very solid marriages..... And kids need to be planned for...lots of couples don't plan... not REALLY plan!!! We ought to teach this stuff in hs, we don't. And as a public school teacher, my apologies, really unfair to young parents who have no idea what is going to happen when kids enter their marriage. Here's what my mama said to me,,, no drilled into my head beginning when I was 13... your niece needs these... she makes a mistake like this now, and she'll get to join the legions of single moms in poverty, for the rest of her life...... 1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart. 2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to 3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!! 4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better Good luck, hon.

Answer 3

Let me look into my crystal ball:

I see a girl...she thinks she's a woman, but she keeps making stupid choices.
She ends up pregnant, and the sperm-donor leaves her and the baby to fend for themselves.

I see a baby - perhaps a baby girl, growing up in a pathetic environment, with little love or attention, lacking in education and becoming an uneducated teen, like her momma...and she too, will get pregnant before she even turns 19, and she too, will be a single mom.

I see this in my crystal ball, which is usually 100% accurate when it comes to uneducated teens making foolish choices and resulting in unhappy endings (usually for the babies that result from those choices).

You can't do a whole lot to change her.
She's a cyclone that will eventually wear out on her own, but not before causing a lot more damage to other peoples lives.

Answer 4

u said it, her bf is a kid
+ur nice is still 2 young 2 get married or even think about a kid.
i had my kid with 21 it was an accident and i love here more than anything in the world, but when i think back i would do it another way, its hard 2 have a kid that young
tell her 2 finish school at 1st and getting a job or go 2 college

Answer 5

Whoa! Wait a minute here! The age of consent for sex in most states is 16 or 17, and 18 in a few states, but I know of no state where 15 is the age of consent.I hope they are not having sex now, with her being 18 and him being 15. That means his parents could press statutory rape charges on her. Does she want to be on the sex offender registry for life? She needs to grow up and get her head straight. She is far from mature enough to have a baby!

http://www.coolnurse.com/consent.htm

http://www.moraloutrage.net/staticpages/index.php?page=states

Besides that, getting pregnant does not mean he HAS to marry her, or that he will. It only means he will be stuck paying child support for at least 18 years.

Oh, yeah, and it's FAR too soon to declare him a "good catch". What if he finishes high school and decides to flip burgers for minimum wage for life? Or decides to hitchhike around the country for a few years? Or, God forbid, gets killed in an accident? There are lots of ifs in life, and she is not mature enough to prepare for them.

Answer 6

well all i can say is she will learn from her own mistake if she really chooses to go through with that decision.
the reason why she wants to have a baby is most likely to fill some kind of void in her life, someone to love and to love her back. she is probably acting out as a last resort for her parents to pay her some type of attention.
being with someone at the age of 15 years old and trying to have a baby as well as get married is really not a good idea. at his age he not interested in getting married and supporting a child let alone live the married life. he wants to live a life of a teenager ie; going out with friends, meeting new girls and just experiencing life in general when he turns 18 that life style will not change. at that age he can barely get a job to support her and a baby. she will be basically on her own raising the baby.
does she have any friends that are single parents? do you yourself know someone her age that is struggling as a single parent? then she will see for herself how hard it can be to raise a child by herself or even at a young age. if she sees examples of people her age that are struggling it may help to change her mind. explain to her that if she wants to have a baby that she needs to have a good job and with a good job you need an education. having a baby is not cheap, they are very expensive and demanding. if all else fails then she needs to really seek counseling to help her with any issues that she may not be able to confide in anyone else. don't continue to press the issue or she may do the complete opposite of what you want for her and that may be best for her. at her age as well as his they think they know all that there is to know about life.

Answer 7

Gawd! Problem child/adult. The only reasoning I can think of is what kind of household does she expect to have in order to raise a child. Ask her to remember what it was like growing up with arguing/divorced parents. Is that the kind of life to raise a new born in? She will be ruining 3 lives . The boy's, hers and an innocent child. I feel your frustration having to deal with a selfish, stubborn, idiotic young adult. She seems to want to make up for her "lousy" childhood by raising her own perfect child just to show her parents how they failed. Just where on this planet is she suppose to conceive this "love child" ? Your house? I guess that would make you an accomplice of sex with a minor, but, check with the boy's mother for her thoughts.(share the burden) Tell the princess to get a job and find her own apartment. Good luck.

Answer 8

18 and wants to hook a guy into marriage?

This is a recipe for disaster.
Maybe you should point out that she has no clue what lies ahead if she persists which could include, poverty, homelessness and being saddled with a kid when she should be enjoying her young adulthood. The best you could do is let her BF know what she is up to.
How would she like it if he says ,heck no I'm not getting married and gets her jailed for statutory rape in the offing.
Then the kid goes into foster care. That is not something to do to a child.

Answer 9

I feel so badly for you. Honestly, what can you do? She's 18 and if she wants to screw up her life, there's not a whole lot you can do to stop her. Does she have any close friends that aren't as crazy as her? Is there any way you can get someone her own age to talk to her about this? Maybe she would listen to someone she considers a peer. Is there any way you can try to get her into counseling? She's headed down such a dangerous path here.

Answer 10

you know i thought my life was bad enough, i got pregnant at 15 and married at 16. she's only doing this to get away from her problems and with a 16 year old boyfriend thats not gonna help either, lets just say its not fair for the baby that she wants to have to have to grow up with a mom like that, who really cant take care of herself yet or establish her life. having a baby would just add more wieght to her life, if she's not stable your gonna be the one to babysit and who knows she must give run out on the baby. but your niece needs alot of help and looks like lots more of maturing.