Two questions for (mainly) americans...?

Question

I am re-reading Bill Bryson's 'Notes from a small island' and was wondering if these two things were true?
1. Do americans use a fork in their left hand to steady food, cut with their right hand then transfer the fork to the right hand to eat?
2.Is there really no american equivilent of "are you taking the p*ss"?

Thanks chaps

The best way i can explain 'Taking the p*ss?" would be someone laughing at you for falling over for instance or someone constantly doing something to annoy or upset you.
ie. I fall over and my mates laugh, I would say to them "stop taking the p*ss!"(jokingly), or if someone kept eating my chocolate without asking i would say "are you taking the p*ss out of me?"
Trying to explain this is harder than i thought it would.
Of course i could have misread your answer in which case you would be taking the p*ss!

Answer 1

1. I steady my food with the left, then transfer to my strong hand to eat...rather annoying sometimes...I didn't know it was an american thing...I'll remember that.

2. "i got pissed last night" "you're ******* pissed, mate" ...sounds cool becasue we don't use it, but I didn't realize the term til earlier this year.

Answer 2

1. I cut with my left hand, never switching the fork from my right hand

2. Uh, does that mean "Are you gonna take that?" If so, that's the equivalent.

EDIT: In that case, I think we don't have an equivalent to that expression.

Answer 3

only americans do this? where did i learn this from then?