Mothers, did you feel any shame when you were giving birth?

Question

I know many people will say that this is a silly question, but I bet that at least some of those people are hypocritical.

Yes, giving birth is a natural process, just like having sex, eating or performing your urinary and intestinal needs...

But will you deny that social precepts often don't make some acts more constraining?

Having sex in the first times can be inhibiting...

How about giving birth, in the presence of a certain amount of people (even though they are doctors or nurses, and so are for sure already used to this)?

Besides of that, I've also heard that women can have a poo (or fart) during childbirth...

Be sincere about this... After all, you are on the Internet (and I would never ask this in real life either...)

Answer 1

When you get to the hospital and get admitted for labor, let your nurse know your concerns. It is OK. She will help to preserve your privacy as much as possible. She can perform exams, change pads, check bleeding...discretely & without exposing you.

It also helps to not have a room full of people while you are laboring. That way, you don't have to worry about being embarassed in front of people you know. Friends & family have a way of bringing things up later. Leave them at home!

I disagree with some of the comments that you should not be embarassed. Some people are just modest. This will not make you a bad mother! Jeesh! You can even breastfeed without exposing anything. It is just how you are. It is OK.

Some people don't like any clothing during labor and rip it off! You might surprise yourself :) Talk with your coach/husband whoever will be with you. Tell them what YOU want so that they can be your advocate during labor.

Good luck. Your baby will love you either way! Sophie

Answer 2

I am an extremely modest person, and I was concerned about having all those strangers watching me while I gave birth. I would've been perfectly happy giving birth at home, quite honestly!

However, I had some complications with both my previous pregnancies, and ended up at the hospital. With my first, I did ok all the way to 10 cm dialation - didn't have to "assume the position" or anything, and was subjected to exams like what I'd gotten at the OB, so it was no biggie. Back labor got to be too much, so I received an epidural. By the time my baby was actually born, the epidural was wearing off, I'd been vomiting, and I didn't care who was in there as long as I could be done, already! I had a forceps delivery, and there were probably 15-20 people in the room, and I swear, I did not care. Yes, I had a moment when I wondered what they were all doing, but I really did not care that they were all focused on a normally very private part of me.

With my 2nd, I expected that many in the delivery room again, but my baby came so fast, there was only the midwife and one nurse, and then a prenatal nurse was called in after the birth. Once again, I was just worried about delivering, so I didn't care what they were looking at. :o)

Don't worry, once hard labor kicks in, your inhibitions will disappear!

Answer 3

I didn't have shame with either of my children. But during the birth of my first her head was out so the doctor was telling me not to push (to do the suctioning) and I heard my mother in the hall screaming why are they telling her not to push... I freaked out and yelled at the nurses to shut the door.
Two months ago at the birth of my second baby I was again told to not push because the doctor wasn't there yet. And my mom got to the hospital. I'm in excrutiating pain since I didn't have an epidural, and I hear my mom say don't you want me in there. UMMM no i didn't the first time and I don't want you there now either.
I pooped both times. Just a little. You can't help it. There's so much blood and other gross stuff the poo is the only normal looking thing that just came out of your body. Most nurses clean it up before you can even see it. With my second I had her before the doctor showed up so I just had her on the intake bed. I had no stirrups or anything. I just put my legs to the sides and she fell out in two pushes. I got to the hospital at a 10. I don't really recommend getting there that late.

Answer 4

No, I felt no shame. But then I've spent years in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy healing from my childhood. I don't really carry any of those hangups about my body. I've attended many births also, which gives you a respectful perspective about the human body. I think "shame" is a left-over from decades past when women were made to feel less than they are -- when "great" men *had* to assist women through childbirth as they certainly could not do so without the aid of a man (please note the dripping sarcasm). Shame has no place in the vicinity of the birth of a child. I've watched other women urinate and pooh while straining to birth their babies. It is neither gross nor disgusting and certainly not shameful. The effort and the desire for their baby is so strong that such thoughts don't even enter their (nor my) mind. As an attendant, you simply keep the area clean and be supportive and encouraging.

Answer 5

Yes, there are embarrassing aspects to giving birth. What you have to consider is the fact that when a woman is in labor her mind is focused on that and that alone, not all of the "gross or embarassing stuff" that comes along with it.

Most woment will tell you that no matter the birthing situation, they would let anyone in to the labor room as long as that person could help get the baby out faster. Nothing else has priority at that monent. Everything else is up to the doctors and nursing staff.

Answer 6

Well during labor it was just me, my mom,my baby's dad, a nurse and a Dr(at the last min) and no at the time of birth I didn't feel weird I had an oxygen mask on and I thought I had really bad breath but no it wasn't that and no one said it was the one of the more embarrassing things that can come with labor. Lets just say I had an epidural and couldn't feel anything from the waist down and you use the same muscles to push. Yes after I realized what the smell really was and my son's father told me I was really embarrassed still am.

Answer 7

No way. It hurts like hell and all you're interested in is getting that baby out. It's the most amazing experience in the whole world though. Why be ashamed of it? It's a natural process. I'm sure women have been pooping during childbirth since the beginning. That's not what people talk about afterwards though...

Answer 8

I've never given birth birth before so I can't say whether or not I would feel ashamed.... but I have always imagined it to be a beautiful, natural process that almost every woman will experience at least once in their life, so no, I don't think its shameful. I've had 3 miscarriages and while I was miscarrying and while they were investigating the causes of my miscarriages I was poked, prodded and x-rayed in places you don't want to imagine and I never thought of it as embarrassing, it was just something that had to be done. I've also heard that women can poo and fart during childbirth but seriously, think about it. Your spouse is going to be there (he won't care), and a team of medical professionals (they've seen it all before) so thats the best people to do it infront of as opposed to pooing in public in front of strangers.

Answer 9

There is no modesty regarding pregnancy or childbirth. The staff and doctors in the room with you have seen it ALL before and I'm sure not a whole lot would have them take a second look.

You, on the otherhand, if this is your first, no ammount of preperation is gunna get you ready for what you're about to do. I read all the books, took all the advice....nothing has ever or will ever compare to pushing a 6 1/2 pound person out of your va-jay-jay. Nothing. Feeling ashamed is gunna be the LAST of your thoughts while you're 10cm dilated.

: )

Answer 10

You know...you would think that being half or completely naked in front of people you dont know would make you embarassed or whatever.

But your mind is elsewhere. Nature does a thing on your mind set to keep you from worrying about things like that. Your mind is concerned with the birht of your child, not that your naked.

As for having a bowel movement while pushing..yes it happens and you probably wont even know it happened. Nurses usually whisk that away without a hint that something happened.

The only thing I was adamant about was NO CAMERAS....I dont want to see myself later..thats when the embarassment would come in for me.

Shame is a different emotion...I would hope no one would feel SHAME in its true sense when giving birth. Embarassment might be more common.