I just found out "children are not invited, this is an adult shower."
Am I over reacting??? This lady is a family member and all my other female family members will be there so they can't babysit... (my husband isn't available.) How can you have so much family in a room and not have the kids?
I just don't understand what she has planned that would makes this an adult only party. Even if it is "age appropriate" material, by 11 month old surely isn't going to have any idea what is going on.
2007-09-05 03:34:17 · 32 answers · asked by amber 18 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I have had to skip quite a few showers. I even missed my best friend's BABY shower because her mom said that I could not bring my infant. Hello!? Especially when my kids are little and nursing, we're a package deal. I guess the mom might be concerned that a baby there will deflect attention from the guest of honor.
2007-09-05 03:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by DoulaKaren 4 · 7⤊ 4⤋
Typically bridal showers are adults only... I have never seen a child at a bridal shower, regardless of the childs age. Have you never been to a bridal shower before? I think that you're making a big deal out of something that's really not that important. So to answer your question, yes, you're over reacting. If you plan on going to the shower, then you need to hire a baby-sitter and go have fun and enjoy some time away from your mommy duties!
2016-05-17 08:22:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how difficult getting a sitter can be, but in this case, bringing a child isn't really appropriate. Unless she gave you absolutely no time to find a sitter, which is very unusual for sending out invites to a bridal shower, then you can't be upset about this situation. This is her bridal shower, and she has every right to decide that she doesnt want little kids running around, babies crying, etc. The day is for focusing on her, not other peoples kids, which lets be honest, are often distracting at social engagements, especially something like a bridal shower that has absolutely nothing to do with children. And if she lets you bring your kid, then she has to let everyone. She has enough stress going on while planning her wedding, don't take away what should be a happy and fun day for her by giving her grief for it.
2007-09-05 03:47:11 · answer #3 · answered by Kristi 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well if it is one of those bridal lingerie "passion party" type things... there are actually laws about it... I didn't know that, and I took my then 5 month old breastfeeding daughter w/ me to my cousin's house for one of these parties and the lady doing it about had a heart attack!! We were able to let my daughter stay in a converted garage / TV room with me, my cousin, my mom, and my aunt all taking turns entertaining her... but I think the lady was still nervous about it.
And sometimes these kinds of parties are for adults, I don't think you're over reacting, I'd probably bit a bit offended too.... but if that is the atmosphere they want for the shower, then you have to respect that. I agree he won't have any idea what is going on, but if he's vocal or cries it could interrupt whatever the plan is for the party... as good as your child might be... you can't predict when he'll have a cow about something !!
Either don't go or leave him for 2 hours w/ someone else... male familly members can babysit kids too :)
2007-09-05 03:48:22 · answer #4 · answered by Tanya 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Funny, my baby shower, planned by my friends, was the same. My SIL had an issue with it and she mentioned it to my friends. They ended up allowing children. I don't think you are over reacting but I also don't think it is such an unreasonable request. I can't put a finger on the reason why they would not want kids there, but I'm sure that they feel it is necessary. I would mention to them the fact that all availiable babysitters you use will be at the party, unavailiable and you have no one to watch ur baby. If the baby can't come niether can you, I'm sure they would rather have you and baby then not at all.
2007-09-05 05:39:20 · answer #5 · answered by shortimom27 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am about to throw a baby shower for my sister and I am making the same rule. Not because of the babies but because of the older children. (They are loud and live to annoy!) I would be totally willing to have people bring babies. Maybe you should ask if you can bring your little one.
Bridal showers do get roudy sometimes. If it's THAT kind of party then I'm sure you wouldn't want to take your child there. If it's not... then they should have no problem with you bringing him/her unless your child is a brat! (If they pull the "well if we let your kid come we have to let everyone's kids come" then the person throwing the party probably has an issue with your child or the way you discipline your child!)
2007-09-05 05:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Songsdeli 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, she kinda has a point. My bridal shower was supposed to be for adults only and a friend brought her young one. It was quite disruptive and kind of took away from a special day for me. It is nothing that should be taken personally. I would respect her wishes and move on.
You do not want to cause any rifts over such a small incident.
Plus, if your 11 month old is anything like relatives 1yr old, they are quite active and want to get in everything and see everything. If you can not get a sitter, respectfully decline stating that you could not find someone to watch the baby.
Who knows, they may even tell you it is ok and to come anyway.
2007-09-05 03:46:57 · answer #7 · answered by tinyavenger 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Because it just isn't relaxing with kids around. I could see making an exception for a baby under 3 or 4 months that will sleep mostly and is relatively self-contained.
But an 11 month old is going to be either running or crawling around. Which means you aren't going to be able to have candles, or use the good dishes, or warming plates, etc.
2007-09-05 04:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might not want children there because she wants to enjoy time with the adults: opening gifts (Iingerie?) jokes, adult stories and advice. It would be weird if she made the exception for you and there was just one kid there. Other parents there might feel slighted. Not to mention, is your kid just going to sit on your lap the whole time? It's 11 months! It's going to be crawling or walking around getting into stuff, spilling its juice cup on stuff and not understanding why it can't play with the gifts. I love family get-togethers where all the kids are there, but some events are not child-appropriate.
2007-09-05 03:53:22 · answer #9 · answered by Engaro 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, the simple answer to your question of why you can't take him is that he was not invited. It's her choice to have children there or not. It's not up to you to question her choice of who is invited and who isn't.
My family doesn't usually have adults-only gatherings, it's just not part of our culture, but for the few there have been, it's not my job or anyone else's to say "What do you expect me to do about my kids?"
I have two kids, who are the joys of my life. But when I look at things objectively, I can see that when kids are at a gathering, a lot of it becomes about them. Maybe the bride-to-be thinks it would be fun to not play second fiddle to an 11-month-old and his mommy who wants to show off each little trick he knows.
Why isn't your husband available?
Get a sitter (non family) or send your regrets.
2007-09-05 04:24:42 · answer #10 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kids have a way of being annoying. While I don't always like having to find a place for my children to go it really irritates me when an invitation says no children and someone shows up with their kid. I had to find a sitter, and so should you. Everyone else with kids had to find a sitter so it's not fair for you to think that your kids are so special. My daughter is probably the best behaved child i've ever met and still if it says no kids i don't take her. even though i've been encouraged to bring her by others at the party. I've even had the person throwing the party ask where she is.
And it's not like you have to go to the party. IT's not for you.
2007-09-05 03:50:25 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋