i just cant help getting upset
2007-09-05 02:03:03 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i am the same way. i think it is extremely disrespectful to look at other women (especially naked ones) while your with someone! Who doesnt care that their men are lusting after other women?? Apparently some, but I don't know what their problem is...I don't check out other men so I expect my husband to have the same respect for me. He doesnt watch porn or look at it, because he knows how much it bothers me and he respects me enough not to do it. NOT EVERY MAN LOOKS AT PORN. thats to the person who said every man does. Maybe every man does at some point in their life, but not every one does it when they have their own woman to look at.
2007-09-05 03:31:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
2
2016-07-19 14:49:00 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure sounds like you are insecure in your relationship.
Why does it bother you that much? What exactly bothers you so much?
To be honest, I have asked my husband not to look at nude pics or porn whilst I am not present.. as this makes me feel upset. I'm not really sure why... maybe because it feels like he's admiring other women, maybe I question the need when I'm around...who knows.. but personally I enjoy watching porn too and have absolutely no problem with watching it together. Weird? not really...when we watch it together it becomes about the sex act, not the people.. whereas if he watches it on his own, or looks at pics, it might be about the women. Maybe you could try watching it with him?
If you yourself do not like porn, then this might always be an issue for you.. because lots of people like watching it and chances are, he'll just do it behind your back when he feels the urge and you're not around. In his defence, porn allows the viewer a phantasie that in reality he might never want, girl on girl for example. He cannot have that, or want that in reality.. but watching it might still be a real turn on. Is there any harm in that? Remember he's with you... and it's not 'real'. As long as it happens only occasionally, there really is no harm in it...
This really needed to be talked about prior to you getting married. Shared values and beliefs, especially about sex, are so vital in a successful marriage. At the very least, talk to him about it now... not in an upset, accusational tone, but when you are both calm. Tell him why it upsets you and ask him why he feels the need to watch it.. see if you can come to a compromise. But no, there's nothing wrong with you...or your husband, you each just have different views.
2007-09-05 02:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by Aussie mum 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not. I felt the exact same way. I hated that my man would sneak time to watch porn while I was at work. I was the same way. I could not help getting upset about it and it made me feel inadequet, like I was doing something wrong or not enough. I am very secure in my relationship with him and know that when he tells me it is not because of something I am lacking but just because he is a guy and guys have urges that need satisfied, I know that that is truely what he means. After 4 1/2 years our sex life is still going very strong. It also gives me a little comfort that he is using porn as his outlet for his urges rather than another woman. Be strong and maybe watch some with him sometimes but also let him watch it on his own as well. You never know what you might learn!
2007-09-05 02:28:51 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda F 1 · 3⤊ 3⤋
personally it doesn't bother me if my husband watches porn or looks at nude pics of woman but no you're not wrong to be bothered by it. We are all diffrent.
2007-09-05 04:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by lillulu460 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are visual creatures, and i think they have a tendency to want to look at porn.
There is a difference between "addiction to" porn, and occasional looking, however.
I never had a problem with my man looking at porn. He wasn't comparing these women to me, but looking. I am not the jealous type, either. Never was, don't see any use in it... just causes destruction.
If your husband does this occasionally, i dont see the harm. After all he is with YOU.
Maybe you could try to figure out why you are upset? If he does this all the time, for hours on end, well he could have an addiction problem.... otherwise, he's just being a guy.
take care.
2007-09-05 02:11:58 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 4⤊ 3⤋
No there is nothing wrong with you. It's a sickness with your husband.
It's the same as CHEATING.
There is no line between the "occasional" & the "addict".
Sexual dysfunction is a serious side effect to porn.
He will look at you as body parts not a wife. There will be no real emotional connection.
Don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Do the research.
2007-09-05 06:02:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he is looking at them INSTEAD of contact with you, then you have reason to be upset.
If he is looking at them for sexy ideas, to include in your sex life, then you shouldn't be upset.
If he only looks at them when he can't be with you, then it is a good thing, because it's better than going out and having dangerous liasons with strangers, and helps him stay faithful to you.
Most of the time, men don't look at porn because they are not satisfied with their wives, but to maintain a certain level of sexuality in their lives.
It's normal, and healthy when done in moderation.
2007-09-05 10:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with you, however your expectation of him to not look at those things is probably not realistic and you are most likely going to be continuing in your unhappiness. Men are visual and this stuff is all over. Enjoy it with him is my best advice. Be a partner in his naughtiness.
2007-09-05 16:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lord how many times is the question going to come up.
Look, there is nothing wrong with him looking at porn every so often. It is normal for men to "look", they are very visual.
Now you need to stop putting your issues on him. You need to admit that you have low self-esteem and work on that.
TO ME:
I like watching porn with my hubby and I know I look that I am better then any of those women he watches. Women that have problems with it have issues of their own; low self-esteem, intimacy issues, or just being a damn prude. And on that "MATURE man" comment, a man that doesn't watch has issues (shouch as lying as himself because he really does want to watch it) and/or a low sex drive.
It's up to you is you won't accept a real man but don't put down us women that are comfortable with our bodies and enjoy porn, you prude.
2007-09-05 02:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 4⤊ 3⤋