Divorced for 2 months. Haven't seen her. Been together for 10 years before that. I am a recovering addict. I went to rehab when she divorced me. We love each other. That's not in question. She wanted me to be responsible. She wants children. I've been sober 40 days. I know that's not long. I don't expect her to trust me right now. I'm Not trying to jump back into a relationship. I just want her to see me trying. Her family is a problem. I understand their feelings. I don't blame them. I have a good job. I don't want to know whether I should try to get her back. I already know that I'm going to try. I'm willing to do whatever it takes and wait. I'm patient and I love her. I just want a unique way to make first contact. I don't want to seem like I'm coming on too strong, but I do want her to know that I still love her and want her to see the actions I'm taking to make myself a better person and someone who can meet her needs and start a family. What should I do to get her attention?
2007-09-05 00:00:39 · 3 answers · asked by B. Nowlin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How about cookies or personalized m & m's or something?
2007-09-05 00:08:08 · update #1
I said that I'm going to try. I don't need to hear stay away. I'm looking for ideas, not advice as to what I should do with my life. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
2007-09-05 00:10:07 · update #2
show her your thirty day chip and say if I don't get a sixty day chip then you will now that I did not stick with it
2007-09-05 00:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly John congratulations on 40 days! That is wonderful and it's nice to see the effort you are trying to make. I agree that it is not long but it is a start. I would imagine that you caused your ex a lot of hurt and pain and through her pain her family will be protective of her - but that will pass when they see that you are clean. I think though that if you make a unique gesture then it would be construed as coming on too strong. I would keep it simple.What you could start by doing maybe would be if you seen a band that were coming to play that you knew she liked that you could organise tickets for her and a friend to go to, this is a thoughtful gesture and she may give you feedback and things could start there, things must have got pretty bad that you divorced and the fact that you didn't go to rehab until this will remain with her. I imagine what she really wants to see is you being able to look after yourself and live your own life, only when she sees this will she think that you can look after her. She has been truly hurt and to gain her trust will be a slow process but you sound like you mean it and I wish you well... Remember little gestures that show your thinking of her and what she likes instead of you & her will mean a lot. Unique or expensive gestures will seem vulgar and cheap. Good Luck...
2007-09-05 07:12:29 · answer #2 · answered by patlynn2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away, and send her a card telling her that you have been sober for 40 days and plan to continue on the road to your recovery. She will contact you, if she is interested in renewing the relationship. Just remember that you may have waited too long. I suspect that you have since she has already divorced you. You can not be angry with her. You caused the problem and now you may have to deal with the consequences.
2007-09-05 07:07:46 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋